sirenspull | Entries tagged with c: the joker

I know that there have been several complaints filed in the past few days about the police coming into the Tower Apartments and going through the belongings of Newcomers. Please, understand that this is not something we can avoid. In fact, no Newcomer officer is allowed to touch this case and we aren't even capable of responding to any sort of distress call from anyone in the Towers if they relate to this incident.

[She sounds calm, surprisingly, though there's venom in her voice.]

Rest assured, this matter will be thoroughly looked into when the young girl is found. Any and all complaints will be investigated. But for now, I hate to say it...but there's nothing that can be done. Don't let that dissuade you from lodging a complaint or speaking up about it, however.

And if anyone has any information on the girl, if you see anything suspicious, anything at all, please come forward or drop a tip on the hotline.

[She knows very well how the police can treat Newcomers even when they're on their "best behavior". She's going to bring it up in the department once all of this is over, though her priority is on finding the girl.]

To those of you who are new and are wondering why I'm wasting my time, my name is Re-l Mayer, Corporal Officer of the SPPD. I've been in this city for two years. I also work as a Newcomer case worker and I'm here to help you with whatever you might need, whether that be a job, housing, finances, etc. My office is always open and you can reach my NV at any time.

[Probably a bad idea but she'll go with it.]

If there's anything else I can help with, please let me know.

( Encrypted to the NPP Head Board Members )

( Filtered to the SPPD cops )

( Encrypted to Sherlock Holmes and Red Robin )

philosopher

Siren's Port, it's Dale Cooper. We've spoken once before, albeit by accident. You'll have to be patient with me; the technology around here is a little ahead of my time.

Something is troubling me and I thought perhaps to take a moment to discuss it with all of you. You see, technology isn't the only thing that's different between this world and mine. While there are a great many mysteries in my world, strange and supernatural, the Darkness is a phenomenon I have only observed in this city. And on the recommendation of my doctors and others I've spoken with, I've yet to explore the Darkness personally because I am not in peak physical condition... yet.

And so it is with an admission of ignorance that I come to you today for answers. I trust that many of you have the expertise to decipher a little puzzle I've been facing.

On Monday, June 4th, at approximately 3:30 a.m., I awoke from a dream. In that dream, I had been walking, shortly after high noon, near the baseball diamond where I first appeared. I noticed that, as the sun inched toward the west for its descent, the shadows began to grow. But these shadows were no ordinary shadows. Seeping from them was a decay... Where a shadow fell over a pipe, it rusted - and over sidewalks, cement cracked and turned to dust. It was a decay like I've only seen at night, peering out from my window. But in the dream, it was everywhere, in every shadow, even with the sun shining overhead.

The following night, I had the same dream, only I began to run. I ran as far as my legs could take me, but no matter where I went, the shadows were full of death. In the long shade of the company towers, I could see the grass dry out, and the flowers shriveled, and the brick walls crumbled.

On Wednesday the 6th, I had the same dream again, but there was more. I gave up on running and stopped at a coffee stand. I ordered a coffee - black, as always - but I received a pale liquid... white, but not milky. And when I tasted it, it was sweet. A sickly sweet flavor. I spit out the drink, but instead of falling to the ground, the drops floated into the air. I heard a man's laughter and suspected I was the target of a practical joke, but when I looked around, I failed to find the source. I began to walk again, searching, but became more and more disoriented. The colors of the world around me began to invert, so that I couldn't tell if it was night or day, whether I walked through sunlight or shade. Out of the corner of my eye, I would catch flashes of something - an electric blue plasma, something amorphous... But I never did catch up with it.

This dream has been recurring every night since, but I'm no closer to understanding its meaning. I wonder if anyone has seen anything similar to what I've described, in dreams or in reality? I would very much like to hear your thoughts on it.

universaljanitor

Given the rather interesting little bit of art that appeared overnight, I was thinking of getting a group of experts together to go and see what's what.

So, if any of you lot are exp- well, probably not experts. More likely aficionados, given this melting pot of realities - of extraterrestrial sightings, history, or any sort of symbology, really, give me a bit of an example of your work.

[... He's way too excited about this crop circle jellyfish thing, okay]

Ooooh its been ages since I've had something right up my alley. Ha!

( Private messages to Rose, Jack, Eleven, the TARDIS, Amy, Jubilee, Mary, Sheldon, Edriss and Washu )

empetre

[There's a little, yellow pony staring worriedly at everyone from over the PCD. She, at least, looks to be healthy as a, uh, horse.]

Um... oh, I'm so sorry to be bothering everypony at a time like this, but... If... If anypony needs any extra help, I'd be so, so very glad to help them out.

You see, I've um... I've been in contact with a few hue-manes so far, and I haven't gotten sick at all - and I'm so sorry for everypony who is sick, but... w-well, you see...

[She takes a deep breath] I've always helped my animal friends when they've gotten sick. I-I know how to care for fevers and upset tummies. So if... if anypony would like some extra help, or maybe an extra hoof in making some soup, please let me know.

[She ducks her head a little, nervously] I hope everypony gets better soon. This... this is terrible.

[And since she doesn't know how to do filters!]

O-oh and... Rainbow Dash...? If... If there's any way your home is still open... Would it be possible if I stayed with you?

[ooc: because real life ATE ME halfway through Fluttershy's intro, I'm kind of starting fresh with this one!

If there's something you wanted to finish, though, just let me know~]

gabriel_gray

[ Here is Nathan waving a little yellow slip of paper at the video feed to get everyone's attention. ]

I realise you're all dying or whatever so I'm gonna try not to take too much of your time. My brother Peter's gone missing. Left me this note saying not to worry, hold tight, yadda yadda. All well and good. But that was Friday, and there's still no sign. Doesn't call, doesn't answer his phone, didn't leave me any other way to reach him, so I'm wondering if one of you all has any idea how I can do that, or if you've seen him.

[ He can't even explain that Peter's lost Sylar and he's probably not completely in control of his abilities right now, because where would he even start? Nevermind that Peter underlined the parts about not telling anyone where their apartment was, or that Sylar was gone. ]

Couple of other things while I'm at it. First things first: I think you're all mad for thinking that this plague has anything to do with guilt. Maybe it just makes you feel extra guilty about shit you've done when you've got it, but I can't imagine it's the actual cause. God knows I've got enough to be guilty for, and not even a sniffle. Whoever tells you otherwise is probably some asshole trying to get money outta you.

And another question--has anyone had anything weird happen to their powers since getting here? I don't know, like this place is shaking them up? Playing mix and match? I could ah... I could fly before I came, and now I can't, and I think I'm... Picking up other things like my brother can. Things I shouldn't be able to do. Don't suppose anyone's gone through anything like it?

Oh, right. And for those who're curious I passed my resit for the bar. Took them a while to get back to me after the test but with most of the city down with this sickness... Never mind. You see Peter, tell him to call me.

[ He disconnects, and a few moments later a text message is pinged from the same address: ]

Hi again. Any tips for getting cats to like you? Furry little jerk took another swipe at me.

doeswhathewants

I've oft heard lately that a frozen dessert, iced cream, is good for those who are ill. Well, there are so many of you ill, I thought to contribute to assisting in your recovery by making this iced cream much more .... available.

[He's sitting on the ledge of a building, looking down on the street, the NV is focused on the street as police cars swarm after their quarry. The transformation is near instantaneous- cars, then large blobs of ice cream with overly large bananas sticking out of them. Uniformed officials scramble stickily out of the mess, only to find themselves slipping on the discarded banana peels. Loki's soft laughter is heard as the NV focuses in more sharply on the mess below.]

One may thank me in tribute of Red Bull and the Eggs of Cadbury, please no virgin sacrifices, that gets awkward.

[Oops. Loki may have accidentally interfered in police business. The NV clicks off. All typically exempted people are exempt, of course, Loki would never forget about you. Also Stark, if he owns a car.]

littlepwny

Aerial races?

Hope you guys like being left in the dust. Don't think I'll go easy on you!

jokerofcrime

[There is darkness.

It is a horrible, shifting, terrifying darkness from whence only a tiny bit of light escapes. AND OH, THE SOUNDS. THE HORRIBLE SOUNDS. A cacophony of smacking and pleased sighs. The darkness shifts, more light pours through, shining like some beacon of Heaven in this most dark, horrible-

And then Meowth moves and the NV reveals that he's been buried in a pile of Cadbury eggs THE ENTIRE TIME. His mouth is covered in chocolate and his presently licking the creme filling out of one of them.] I don't know what's goin' on, but I think I can get used t' this. [One of his goons walks by with a basket of the eggs and proceeds to dump them on top of the unsuspecting cat.] HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DUMPIN THOSE, YOU BIG LU- Hey, this one's got caramel in it. [Om nom caramel egg.] Keep 'em comin', boys. I think I picked a good day to get a hankerin' for fried eggs, even if they can't find a real one in this joint nowheres.

( Anonymous Messages (Sent to anyone connected to the Terminus) )

gammas

[ well golly who could this green woman be. she's walking and dressed in wow -- not a unitard though her hair is as huge as ever and she doesn't exactly look that happy. it's earlyish morning when she turns on the video ]

Wow, here again? Does my priorities mean nothing anymore? [ the corner of her mouth pulls and she sighs ] Right-o. So I'm She-Hulk. Shulkie. Jennifer Walters, former lawyer, bounty hunter, Avenger, Fantastic Four member, Defenders, SHIELD, Fantastic Force, Hero for Hire, Lady Liberator, aaaaaaand Fearsome Four. [ she's counting this all off on her fingers btw ]

It's a pleasure to meet whoever's still here. I already know how this all goes so no need to give me the rundown.

[ a beat as she just kind of rubs the back of her neck. ]

So, what's up?

cheerhealer

Sylar has his collar off. If you see him on the streets, run. Fighting against him is useless unless you can cut his head off.

He can regenerate now. [ Blood is smeared on her face and on the little Pomeranian in her arms, mixed in with dried tears. She shuts the feed off immediately after that little PSA. ]

( private to peter ; extremely difficult to hack )

( private to loki ; moderately difficult to hack )

[ OOC: replies to the public post will likely come after a few hours ICly. ]

terminates

[ Good day, Siren's Port. It's your resident jerkfais assassin and bounty hunting coordinator coming at you today with a PSA about the business. He's dressed for the occasion, masked and armored for the world to see, sitting quite professionally behind his desk.

His tone is deadpan as always. ]

For those of you who haven't already registered as a bounty hunter, the time to do it is now.

For those of you who are new to the Port, if you'd like to register as a bounty hunter, we're located in Sector Four at Mugshots bar.

[ He tilts his head at the camera. ]

My name is Deathstroke. If you have any questions, I'm the one to ask.

Try to keep it short.

[ With that said, he cuts the feed. ]

[ ooc: For information on bounty hunting, check out the info page here! To accept a bounty, put one on someone's head, or register as a bounty hunter, check out Deathstroke's IC contact page here! ]

askedtobe

[ Seated in the corner of the couch in his living room, Peter's looking better than he probably has in months. Less tired, less haggard. Less miserable. You might say he even almost looks... happy. ]

Probably should've spoken up sooner, but-- lost track of time the past few days. [ There's a glance off camera for a second before Peter's clearing his throat and focusing. ]

Starting to think the newspaper really should start trying to be a little more thorough with its investigative work before it tells everyone i've died. Back when the Joker-- Uhm, there's a reason they didn't recover the body. [ a beat ] 'Cause I survived. So if anyone saw that, read it.. i'm fine. Nothing to worry about.

And-- [ After a put upon sigh, for a couple seconds, Peter holds his NV up against his chest, muffling both visuals and sound as he, off camera, takes care of something. But he's back on screen momentarily. Just technical difficulties, folks. ]

If anyone saw that bit in the paper about the aliens? Wouldn't worry about it too much. That was kind of-- [ he sighs; he really doesn't actually want to bring this up, but better to keep rumors spreading than not. ] The Darkness monster population in one of the sectors got kind of overcrowded, figured it was an easy way to take care of it all at once. Sorry about that.

[ And after a forced smile sort of a thing, he clicks his NV off. ]

[ ic replies will likely come a couple hours later. ]

predominates

[ The feed turns on, and the voice that speaks has a modern posh British accent with a velvety edge, definitely nice on the ears. There are a few background noises, like she's on the move perhaps, but the attention's on her new audience. It's a shame she can't share a face just yet; she is supposed to be dead. ]

Hello Siren's Port.

[ and a sultry, pleasant hello it is. ]

I've heard about your little monster problem and all those things that go bump in the dark. So, tell me, I must know. Since no one has found a way out, what does everyone like most about being trapped in this charming city?

[ There's a bit of a scolding tone in there. So of course, she expects to be met with hostile answers, excuses for their incompetence, but it should lead her to the more touchy subjects, what's important, what has everyone up in arms. Or maybe they will tell her exactly what they like. Information, gossip, details. She wants it all. ]

circusmaster

[There were a million questions Smiley needed to ask. But in an unknown land, he could trust no one. Even in Canada. Was it still loyal to the Crown? Was the Cold War still on? How far had Moscow extended itself?

Smiley turns these questions over in his head until he opens the door to his temporary flat. The light bulb in the center of the room flickers on, and he sets his handgun on the small kitchen table before standing by the window, simply watching. He knew that even over forty years, the nature of man didn’t change, but where could he be useful here? The modern phone in his hands looks more like a calculator than anything, but slowly and surely, he starts to type out a post. A single line, written once in English, then repeated in Russian.]

Who invented the light bulb?

((OOC: Smiley is testing you, Siren's Port, although with a bit of a dated question. People from the West would answer Thomas Edison as the first man to come to mind, but in Soviet controlled countries, the answer would be Alexander Lodygin. FEEL FREE AND TRY TO PASS THE COMMIE LITMUS TEST))

grifting

[The feed clicks on and a man can be heard whistling an old tune. It goes on for a few seconds or more, footsteps heard in the background. Then, there's silence, and a faint sigh. A man with a thick Irish accent speaks.]

Quite the story, I'll tell you. "Oh, you've come to 2012, my friend! Enjoy your stay." [A puff of a cigarette.] 'Course, wasn't so nice as all that, especially not with that vulgar writin' on the diamond. I haven't had a welcome like that since I was back in the states and I'll tell you...that was a long time ago.

[He takes a moment to take a long drag from his cigarette before he speaks again.]

How do you tell a fella' that he's gone through fifty years in just a few seconds? I'd think I should be sent to the looney bin if I was spoutin' off that sort of shite. [A cough.] Pardon my language, if you will.

[He scuffs his heel on the ground.]

But it's really true, ain't it? We're all stuck on some godforsaken island in the middle o' nowhere. [He breathes out a chuckle.] Just my luck, eh?

[There's a faint noise in the background and Atlas makes a sound of recognition. He clears his throat.]

Ah, that's the other question I had. This is my second night here and I couldn't help but notice the little buggers outside. What's their story? Anyone feel like sharing?

[ooc: while it has no bearing on this post, if you would, please fill out his permissions post!]

theosen

[ The feed opens, a sliver of broken light filtering down into a narrow alley, largely left in shadow. The resin of darkness is thick in the night air, almost pulsing with malignancy as sounds of the already dead break the stillness with distant shrieks.

And yet it does not phase him, a faint outline of red molded against the dark. Two pinpricks of light shine, but coldly from where he sits, leaning against crumbling brick wall, his features largely obscured. ]

The truth.

[ The voice is soft but clear, a coarse resonance like age-old gravel. ]

Ever since the world began, it has been a thing greatly sought after. For ages long, men have questioned, seeking with all diligence the hows and whys of creation. They have traveled far, leaving all else behind, for the answers they so ardently desire. Desperate to know, desperate to see, they've torn themselves and their worlds apart, sought counsel from the very gods, and still come away dissatisfied.

[ He turns his head, a piercing weight to that eerie stare. ]

Tell me, Siren's Port. What is your truth?

harriedosborn

So.

[ He's speaking a little slowly, the bitterness properly enunciated in the slight tipsy slur to his voice. ]

… You know. I wasn't going to think anything of it, I have way better things to be working on and thinking about, but the more I think about it the more it's really burning me up. I mean, I really wasn't going to think anything of it but then--

[ He clicks his tongue and pauses to take another sip of whatever he's drinking. ]

I think that's really great. Really. My dad never remembered my birthday and he always blamed it on the leap year, but -- but my birthday's the twenty-eighth, that's just bullshit, right? I -- I, um -- it's so stupid, I don't even know if they remember either because I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be dead--

[ There's a clink as something breaks, and apparently spills as well. ]

Oopsie. What was I saying? Oh -- no, the worst part is I forgot about my birthday too! [ He laughs a little, quiet and forced and slightly whimpery. ] Usually Liz says it to me in the morning, but…

'm not sure what I'm trying to say actually. I'm just giving myself a headache.

presspasskey

[ Lois looks far, far too amused today. And it's not the kind of amused that implies someone did something to entertain her; oh no, this is a Lois Lane who's got something planned.

Two weeks and the apocalypse hasn't come; she figures it's safe to be public about this now. ]

I did some research. Turns out this is the day when women are allowed to propose to men. Apparently in Finland saying no means the guy has to buy her fabric for a new skirt. I think she still has to make it herself, though. Lucky her.

My opinion on 'allowed' is probably obvious, so I won't go there.

[ She bites her lip for a moment to keep from laughing. ]

Anyway, she's got this chance that only comes along once every four years. Say she wants to be extra cheesy because it's also her boyfriend's birthday. The problem is he's only a quarter of the age someone born the day before would be.

A girl really can't propose to someone the calendar thinks is six years old.

Besides, I'm taken.

[ As she takes a sip of what is probably coffee, something glints on her left hand. ]

So I guess you'll just have to settle for 'Happy birthday,' Smallville.

knightfell

[ It's immensely startling to realize exactly how long it's been since he's posted to the network; he tends to keep his nose to the grindstone and remain generally oblivious to what's going on the network.

Still, this is a big enough change-up in his routine that he may as well make note of it: ]

Starting today, I will be teaching basic hand to hand fighting at the dojo on Tuesday and Friday afternoons. It is mainly intended for beginners, but those who wish to refresh their knowledge or are looking for possible sparring partners are welcome to join as well.

If there is sufficient interest, I can also provide basic instruction in spear or polearm fighting.

[ He gives the address to what was once Kurogane's dojo, then lapses into a brief silence. ]

Attendees with, ah... allergies to rodents and similar creatures should let me know beforehand.

[ Nothing interrupts a covert police operation more than when one of your fellow officers nearly sneezes his way through a wall. He doesn't imagine teaching self-defense would be much different. ]

gabriel_gray

[ A ragged, hollowed face appears on the screen, the eyes are pitch black in the low light, and thick shadows are cast across his face. There's hunger there, and a murderous rage reined right in until his voice sounds almost reasonable. Sylar does not blink, and he stares for several long moments, then tilts his head, and the shadows shift, and his eyes vanish, and all that is left are his lips, dry and cracked, and pulled back to reveal white teeth. The recitation is fluid, after all it has been repeated thousands of times. ]

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I shall die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

[ His head tilts back to meet the brick stonework behind him, just far enough that the empty pits of his eyes are visible again. There is the briefest flash of silver at Sylar's throat--it's the collar confining his abilities, and without them, a wanted criminal, he is starving, gaunt, barely a slither of a shade rather than human. At least they'd fed him in jail, and resentment only makes him want his powers back more, to make the right people hurt for daring to take them from him in the first place. ]

You cannot know what creeping things might come in the night. Isn't that right, Peter? Don't forget to say your prayers.