sirenspull | Entries tagged with !: dr. byron orpheus

[He's been trying to take the high road when it comes to the antics of the tiny god of mischief. Not a peep out of him over the candy corn! Did you see that? Not a single word! He may have even managed a chuckle and a thought of "well played", once he finally unclenched his jaw. More recently, he didn't once accuse him ~~verbally~~ of the sex swapping in the days before the culprit came clean.

But today, Dr. Byron Orpheus has had enough.

Maybe he's been called Count Chocula by one too many passersby, as if a cape isn't a perfectly acceptable thing to wear. Maybe holidays focused on family give him an extra dose of missing his daughter and the fact that it's THANKSGIVING IN OCTOBER just further emphasizes the fact that he's not at home.

Regardless of the precise reason, he has set the NV at one end of his dinner table while he sits at the other. There's a faint haze around the food items as he levitates them over the table, making mashed potatoes, rolls and green beans spin and somersault around his reanimated turkey.]

I can make my food dance, too. I fail to see how it's that impressive of a feat.

dr_orpheus

[It looks like Aqua has a bedsheet wrapped around her neck as a cape (it looks like it, because it is), held in place with a binder clip. Someone had to improvise.

When she speaks, the intonation sounds wrong for her voice, like someone is trying to lend gravity to the words but isn't used to doing it within a feminine vocal range.]

It has been several hours. You have had your fun. I would like to be placed back in my own body now.

dr_orpheus

[The video feed cuts in suddenly, and the network is treated to another accidental show. In this case, it's the downside to having a skull NV with a tendency to bounce when it's sitting on a table and you bang your fist against that table with great force because, well...]

WHAT is going on here?

Dude, nothin'! [If anyone could believe that someone yelling at Pickles could really be over “nothing,” the proof is in the visuals: a naked blonde tearing through the frame with her clothes while Pickles tries to cover himself up with a towel. Yeah, even he seems to know he doesn't have much to stand on in the innocence department.] ...S' fine. Dude, s' only water--s' not like we were in yer bed or nothin', relax--

It is not only water! It is a beaver habitat! Would you entertain a lady of the night IN FIDO'S BACKYARD HOME?

[A sound escapes his throat, almost like he was going to say something to that, but then...doesn't.] It's a fuckin' pool in yer house! How was I supposed to know beavers lived in there?!

I introduced you to them on your first day here!

...I thought they were stuffed animals. [He was high, okay?]

Stuffed-! [No, there are more important things to be enraged about at the moment.] Where are they now?

How the hell should I know? S' not like I was lookin' for a bunch of beavers to come out when I opened the fuckin' door.

[Orpheus sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. They most likely retreated to the bathroom after the intrusion. He will look for them later.] Well, the damage has been done. [He walks over to the edge of the whirlpool tub and peers inside.] I will have to give the pool a proper cleaning... [His voice trails off as he leans over the side of the tub and reaches for something. That something comes into view when he stands up, holding it pinched between thumb and forefinger and keeping it at a great distance. It is a well-used lady's thong. There are no words, just a look of utter disgust for Pickles.]

[While Pickles stares back at the thong without any noticeable reaction, adjusting his towel a bit.] ...Hey. I can throw that out for you if you want. I mean, she probably ain't comin' back for it now, y'know.

[He listens to the offer with no change in his expression, but then something snaps. Orpheus has had enough. His hand, still holding the thong, whips towards the door.] OUT!

[Pickles looks a little shocked for a second; then he settles on annoyed, rolling his eyes and heading back to where his own clothes were.] Fine. Jeeez. Don't have a fuckin' heart attack, dude.

[Both Pickles and Dr. Orpheus disappear off-screen, but the argument doesn't end there: it just becomes distant and harder to hear, as though the vitriol was coming from the other end of the apartment. About eight minutes later, Pickles’s voice comes closer, choice words like "douche bag" and "fuck" being uttered, and the last thing the NV sees is him slamming his key down on the table before the feed shuts off.]

dr_orpheus

Today, so many of us are focused on the type of love that STIRS THE FIRE IN YOUR LOINS.

[As Dr. Orpheus addresses the cameras, there appears to be a woodland habitat in the corner of his living room, and splashing noises can be heard from the tub at its center.]

Even if you are not enjoying the embrace of a handsome man or beautiful woman tonight, I encourage you to join me in inviting a different type of companion into your heart. I have gained some of them through choice and others through unfortunate circumstance. [He picks up a displeased cat.] Yet no matter how many capes I have to repair or how often I arrive home to find the smell of wet beaver permeating the apartment, I do find great comfort in my four-legged roommates.

Don't you agree, Mr. Nibbles? [He tries to wave the cat's paw at the camera until he hisses, claws him, and the video ends with a great deal of shouting.]

Siren's Pull

Entries tagged with !: dr. byron orpheus

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i am the bad wolf

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