horsepower: (kokoro doki doki)
[personal profile] horsepower
[Salutations, Siren's Port. You've just been greeted by a slate grey boy with shattered candy corn horns jutting out of his head. His prim dialect might sound out of place with his mouth full of broken teeth and the long, greasy hair framing his face. The video cuts in and out on many NVs, or flickers black around the edges with interference depending on the viewer's distance from him.]

After much hullabaloo, it has come to my attention that not one of my people has attempted any intergalactic diplomacy beyond...oh, I do not know precisely. Inane chittering about the weather or human bodily functions or something. I was never privy to most of the conversations between my kind and the various aliens cohabiting this space, but my generalized assessments seem reasonable.

For that reason, I have shouldered the burden of introducing you all to Alternian society proper. I formally challenge the pandimensional citizenry of Sirens Port to a battle royale.

[He just looks SO EXCITED about this. Well, as much as Equius can look excited about anything. He's smiling just a bit, showing off those gnarly teeth, and twirling a lock of hair around his finger like a preteen schoolgirl. His heavy brows furrow and his smile drops to a deadpan flatline.]

Not ... to the death, I suppose. The authoritarian powers here seem to frown upon murder. [Which he finds very, very silly. But...Equius is always reluctant to question authority. Even if it's human authority. Seriously, he's been desperate for a set of iron statutes to follow. He's not going to start complaining now.] But a test of strengths. The Fight Club appears to be a flawless location for such destructive proceedings. Oh, I dearly hope they are destructive. [Annnd there's that orthodontist's wet dream half-smile again.] I shall look into it further.

Ah, if...there are enough willing bodies, of course.


[OOC: Translation being - Equius wants to fight all of you! Because that's what an Alternian gentleman does. I've got nothing concrete planned yet, really. This is just a network post to gauge the port's interest in punching his face...or discouraging him from getting his face punched I guess. Oh, and while we're here: text quirk opt-out post!]

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