underdogged: ([ fuck you ])
[personal profile] underdogged
[The bandages have long been removed, the bones set and wounds tended to and healed but the Kaiji onscreen is distinctly different. The remaining scars from the Hunt appear to be mental, left in bruise-like shadows under his eyes and a new hardness in the line of his mouth. And yet it’s more than that- he seems to bristle with energy, energy that he struggles to keep under control as he talks.

In the weeks since it happened, he’s been doing a lot of thinking and he’s finally ready to speak out. His voice trembles with anger and bitterness.]


Survival of the fittest. The natural order. Is that what I’m supposed to call it? Human nature? “Human nature” is clawing your way to the top of a pile of fucking bodies so that you don’t have to rot at the bottom with the scum.

[He hasn’t felt this passionate in a while and the sheer rush of it courses through him like liquid metal. It’s not just in his tone- as he speaks, his gestures are aggressive, almost like he’s readying himself for a fight. Fists clenched so that the tendons bulge, shoulders squared, head held up high and fiercely proud.

He slams a fist on the table with such force that it makes a static buzz on the feed’s sound.]
And you know what? Once you’re there the smell isn’t so bad and the blood on your hands stops looking so bright because you don’t need to think about it. Everyone you crawled over stops being human- who gives a shit what happened to them, huh? No one. And I’m so fucking naïve that I had to learn that all over again since coming here.

Who’s gonna miss something that never even had a place in society in the first place? Who’s gonna miss living trash? [a harsh laugh] So, is that how they saw it?! Doing the world a favour and washing away all the garbage? Us Newcomers… we’re not people, right? So why should it be murder?

[His gaze doesn’t falter even for a second.]

Dress it up however you want, there’s still a mountain of corpses beneath everyone who turned up to that goddamn Hunt and swept it away like it was nothing. Hope they’re enjoying the view.

Fuck them all to hell.
underdogged: (well... ])
[personal profile] underdogged
[The weariness in his voice isn’t a simple case of fatigue; he sounds troubled. Not that it hasn’t been keeping him up at night. If this wasn’t just a voice message, you’d be able to see the dark blotches under his eyes.]

[Kaiji clears his throat, an attempt at being casual.]


Wanted to throw a question out there. When do you forgive someone? [a pause- it’s not really his place to do the forgiving in this situation] Or… when do you turn a blind eye to something… something fucked up? What if they’ve done their time for it? What circumstances make it…

[He trails off. It used to be so simple. Coming here had complicated matters- he still didn’t know where he stood with Tonegawa but it hadn’t mattered before. They were never supposed to see each other again. Even here, their past was a largely taboo subject, never to be spoken out loud but ever present in resentful undertones and snipes. Even so, a small part of him was disturbed by how lacking in intensity his hatred of the other man was- and even more so by the tinier part of him that respected him in spite of everything.

And now… now he can’t stop himself making the connections, asking the same uncomfortable questions; is he a hypocrite if he forgives one but not the other? Does it matter if they’ve changed? Why they did it? Does it ever go away?]


...tch. It's a stupid question.

PRIVATE to Claire Stanfield )

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