news feed; Monday, June 25th 2012

[thepull_mods]

Monday, June 25th 2012

Weather A mix of sun and cloud. Slight chance of showers. Risk of an afternoon thundershower.. High 22°C and a low of 15°C (72deg;F/59°F)

Current Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent

Morning sirens go off at 5:13am, and evening sirens are at 9:17pm.


News & Advertisements

- SERO issued an immediate product recall on its commercially successful RoboMow Lawn Care System, an automated multifunction landscaping tool that just seems to be coming back with too many reports of freak accidents with a defective body-heat detecting shut-off sensor system, and bugs in the programming which trim unspecified topiary bushes into the shape of genitalia.

"Please. Please, enough with the weed-whackers and bush-trimming jokes" begged a department representative over the phone this morning, when questioned about the faulty product line. SERO’s robotics engineering division has sold the product patent to their affiliate company, Violet Systems, which promises less funny business in software development.


- HELP WANTED: Spirit-Sensitive Individuals for Spirit Elimination
To all psychics, spirit mediums, spiritually-sensitive individuals, etc: Your discreet help is requested for a most urgent matter involving the lost souls of the dead. I need a spiritual incidence cleared away from my property. You will be paid handsomely for your services, so long as all spirits, ghosts, demons, or any other sort of supernatural entities are banished permanently. $1000 per person as a flat rate, more if you provide evidence of further ghosts eliminated. Your confidence in this matter is most appreciated. Please contact Susan for details.


- FOR SALE: Dulcinea's Spell Dispeller, while supplies last! Love potion backfired? Endless supply of beer or money flooding your home uncontrollably? Accidentally turned your daughter into gold, or your mother into a bear? Don't let bad sorcery ruin your life, Try Dulcinea's Spell Dispeller!!! Buy now and you'll get your second bottle free in our LIMITED TIME PROMO OFFER.

Mention today's ad for a free sample of Dulcinea's Delicious Aura Cleaner potion!!! You may meet your soulmate tomorrow, make sure your aura is looking its best!!


- AUTO AUCTION: 1975 VW 1303 Superbeetle, refurbished Salmon Pink body in good condition, 45,000 miles and runs like a charm! Custom zebra-upholstered ejector seats, sunroof & fully loaded stereo sound system. Lot #13 @ Keelsons Auctionhouse, Noon today.
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[ News Notification Thread]

[video]

[ace_of_knaves]

[Joker is hanging over the camera. His hair is damp and his eyes are large and wild. He looks like a cornered animal.]

No.

[His chest heaves and his eyes dart back and forth as green strands fall into his face from behind his ears.]

NO!

This is not what's supposed to happen! Why is this freaking island still here!? Why am I still here!?

[He throws his head back and howls.]

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PERFECT ENDING!?

[Voice only on Sissel's end]

[1800deadguy]

I can't believe what was in the news this morning!

Why would anybody want to harm a ghost? Who could be so cruel as to want to hurt one or chase it away?

Ghosts can't help what they are or where they end up. Most of them are just the souls of the dead who get stuck somewhere. Most of them can't even interact with the living world at all. They're just minding their own business in the ghost world.

And yet this person wants to pay to have people destroy them?

It'd be one thing if we were dealing with the "Manipulator" here, but as far as I can tell, these are just some ghosts who are lost and stuck at their silly museum. There are no other ghosts who can do what he does. This is just... anti-ghost cruelty at work!

I'm going down to that woman's office to give her a piece of my mind. Who's with me?

§ 003.

[symmachy]

[someone is looking a little bit on the pale side. and her skin is pulled pretty tight over her skull. something definitely isn't right.]

This is probably going to be awkward, but I could use some help. Not from the faint-of-heart, either. I need to feed, and I need someone to help.

[she pauses.]

No blood, of course, if that worries anyone who's squeamish.

006 ✰ video

[recidivus]

[Well here's a Rose that's looking just a little more au natural than she's ever been in the port. But it's been almost half a year now, and maybe peroxide just hasn't been at the front of her mind lately. Especially not what with the latest Doctor fiasco and .. such. Well, a lot of things, really. None the less.]

What's with th'darkness proofing jus' going out the window? [Who has a lovely new set of bruises on her leg? This guy. And a broken window. At least the sunlight and morning sirens have gone off.]