[Accidental Video --> Text] Back-dated to 5-ish this afternoon

[crowsicle]

[The feed clicks on to an aerial view of Siren's Port, just above the rooftops. The camera lingers only briefly on any sight before panning abruptly to something else without giving the viewer time to focus. It dips suddenly and a rooftop rushes up towards the screen, but there's a great flapping noise and the view slows to a stop about five feet above the roof.

Something orange can be seen near the bottom of the screen, but then the view lifts again to scan the dull, cloudy sky. The view is blocked again suddenly by the same orange streaked with liquid yellow--a hand? The view is jostled, and someone lets out a terse, shaky breath.

Whoever it is then seems to notice that the video is recording.] What the fuck.

[The video feed ends. This text hits the network shortly afterwards:]

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

Comments

text

[reassures]

It's-- this is Siren's Port. But it's in Canada. I don't think anyone owns the planet...



You're a game guide?

text--pretend that it's obnoxiously orange

[crowsicle]

ok three questions for you
one canada what the hell
two what the fucking hell
three who are you

text--can do!

[reassures]

It's the Core's fault. It drags people here a lot.

I'm Nill.

[greenshift]

[ ...wait what. she knows that voice because of course she does, but nothing else about this makes sense, not the view from the video portion or the text color like dave's bro's but it reads like dave but feathery teenage game guide and - it doesn't add up. ]

ummm
dave????

[crowsicle]

[Radio silence--or text message silence, anyway--for a full minute.]

jade

[greenshift]

[ oh wow she was starting to get worried, there. that answer still explains jack shit, though. ]

yes that would be me :p
is everything ok???

text;

[vestalvogue]

Hello Dave
Other Dave Who Is Not The Dave Who Has Already Been Here Which Would Make You Another Dave I Have Not Met Before
Wow I Think That Was Possibly More Complicated Than It Needed To Be
But It Is Pretty Obvious You Are A Dave Of Some Kind
Have We Ever Spoken Before

text

[crowsicle]

maybe
im a popular guy you cant expect me to keep track of all the bitches macking on me
your text looks kind of familiar though
youre a troll right
i kind of dont make a habit of associating with you assholes so sorry if i didnt make a point of memorizing your names

text

[vestalvogue]

No Its Fine I Would Not Expect You To
I Believe Dave
A Dave You Are The Time Player So Who Knows Which Dave It Was
A Dave And I Only Spoke Once Briefly About Rose
But Yes I Am A Troll And I Cant Really Blame You For Not Wanting To Have Much To Do With Some Of Us
We Really Did Not Have A Handle On All Of Our Shit
Myself Included
Still I Would Like To Know
Which Dave Are You

( text. )

[rehashes]

[ oh shit. dude. he's alive. ]

oh shit
dude
youre alive

( text. )

[crowsicle]

[oh shit. fuck. no.]

i guess
sup

( text. )

[rehashes]

not much just being in some piece of shit place killing monsters for money and not understanding a goddamn thing that goes on around here
surrounded by a bunch of guys who shouldnt be here either
chillin
literally
yknow the usual

VOICE

[plushrumpus]

[... pretty much what Dave said.]

Think you might wanna get that looked at before you go shit-wrecking, bro.

1/?

[crowsicle]

[oh god.]

2/?

[crowsicle]

[Oh god oh shit oh what the everloving christ he can't.]

3/4

[crowsicle]

[Continuing to can not.]

text. text is safer.

[crowsicle]

[There is no way. There is no fucking way. He was THERE and he SAW IT and WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK but that was his voice and that was how he spoke and it hadn't been half an hour since Davesprite went back to that platform to scrape his pendant out of his pooling blood.

God.

He can't.]

fuck

[gunsling]

[ Okay... last he checked Mr. Strider was not a feathery teenage game guide. Man, what is with all these orange text guys throwing him off? At least it's not exactly different than back home in that regard. ]

I wish i had a satisfying response to offer to that.
Im afraid its not so clear-cut as all of that.

[crowsicle]

well that was enlightening
you must be the buddha sign me up for the eight step nirvana package
i get all the virgins i want right or is that something else

text.

[scalemates]

M4N NOW 1T R34LLY *1S* 4N 4LL 4SSHOL3 4LL TH3 T1M3 P4RTY
SOM3ON3 1NV1T3 TH3 P3OPL3 3V3RYON3 3LS3 C4N ST4ND
B3C4US3 R34LLY
TH1S 1S JUST 4BSURD >;]

text.

[crowsicle]

look who it is
its everybodys favorite coy bullshit troll
hows it hanging keeping yourself busy by not talking to john

text - quirk is fine with me!

[devourer]

It is the fault of a machine called the Core !

text - Okay cool, thanks!

[crowsicle]

i heard a couple things about that
if i got this right im stuck on an island and i shouldnt try to fly up into the sun like a piece of garbage
anything else i should know
like does rap not exist in this world because then id really just have kill myself

text; hi i'm not late （/｡＼) yeah ok maybe a little

[existy]

whoa, holy crap!
it's you!

[ He's so helpful. ]

text;

[crowsicle]

lets be real who else would it be
what did you do this time man