[Accidental Video --> Text] Back-dated to 5-ish this afternoon

[crowsicle]

[The feed clicks on to an aerial view of Siren's Port, just above the rooftops. The camera lingers only briefly on any sight before panning abruptly to something else without giving the viewer time to focus. It dips suddenly and a rooftop rushes up towards the screen, but there's a great flapping noise and the view slows to a stop about five feet above the roof.

Something orange can be seen near the bottom of the screen, but then the view lifts again to scan the dull, cloudy sky. The view is blocked again suddenly by the same orange streaked with liquid yellow--a hand? The view is jostled, and someone lets out a terse, shaky breath.

Whoever it is then seems to notice that the video is recording.] What the fuck.

[The video feed ends. This text hits the network shortly afterwards:]

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

Comments

[crowsicle]

[Oh.]

shit
six months

[There's a pause after that. Davesprite knows how that goes. How long did he and Rose wait for word from John? Or Jade? Or anyone who wasn't an imp or an agent or the horrible gods out in the Furthest Ring?]

did you rake any sweet goddammit never mind
christ
shit

sorry

[rehashes]

[ jesus davesprite, just make him feel bad why don't you. he doesn't reply for a few moments, mostly because he's scrolling through the other replies like an asshole to fill time while he thinks of what to say in return. ]

dude chill out youve been through hell
just
whatever now that weve established you didnt bite it like a bitch lets just keep this training rolling
cant stop here its bat country
all aboard the fuck this shit express
next stop fucktons of infoville

[crowsicle]

[Okay good feelings are for babies. This is shit he can get behind.]

sweet lay it on me
i got monsters darkness and were stuck here so far
and something about a core but that didnt sound like it mattered
and canada???
also were friends with trolls and you lost your panties to gc

[rehashes]

monsters yes especially demon moose and fucked up flipper babies
those are the important ones
theres some shit that goes down at night called the darkness and basically unless youre specifically going out to take ass and kick names you should probably just stay inside because it gets hells of crazy out there
like you dont even wanna know
no seriously its pretty lame
nobody cares about the core thing so moving right along to being stuck in canada which a one hundred percent affirmative and pretty much the shittiest news any dave could ever give another tbh
its got all the crap youd expect
mounties and fake milk in bags and idk hockey and shit plus its cold as a shriveled up dead eight hundred year old nutsack every goddamn day
sure hope that feather mane is warm dude

also i wouldnt really say were friends with them
theyre just kind of around and we just sort of end up hanging out with them whether we want to or not
tzs a special case
speaking of which i have no idea what youre talking about thats fucking blasphemy shes spreading
nobody defiles the sacred status of a striders panties
for fucks sake man
shes the one thats all up on my dick all the time bc apparently shes got nothing better to do than surprise dry hump me while im on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night and eating all the goddamn tabasco sauce

[crowsicle]

holy information dump batman
as in too much information
i dont need to know what you two get up to in the middle of the night with the tabasco sauce
in fact i specifically dont want to know what you get up
we are basically the same person so i probably know anyway the words dont need saying between us daves
ok??
ok
so how many hell antlers you got hanging on your wall by now

[rehashes]

six
all on the same head
motherfucking monster moose man im pretty much a connoisseur by now

[crowsicle]

damn
its just like my japanese animes

[rehashes]

yeah well just wait until you meet the tentacle beasts
ill just leave you to those wouldnt wanna get in the way of your fantasies man

[crowsicle]

look man
i spent a lot of time with rose but not THAT long

[rehashes]

too bad shes not here or id suggest fixing that
flighty broad keeps fucking ditching

[ he is extremely butthurt about it. can you tell. ]

[crowsicle]

[Maybe.]

do you still have copies of her wizard smut
that shits probably worth i dunno
forty years of her life as blackmail material i think shed stick around for that

[rehashes]

nah i lost it
wish i did though maybe the smell of hot wizard buttsex or whatever would bring her back
and keep her here for longer than two goddamn seconds jesus christ

[ EXTREMELY butthurt. ]

[crowsicle]

if we recreated it
or like adapted it into a graphic novel
no man i know but hear me out
i bet shed do a fucking somersaulting split off the handle and land back here
ps this was your idea

[rehashes]

at this point id try anything
then again it probably wouldnt work since nothing anyone does here apparently has any bearing on whether people come or go
thats the cores thing
yknow that thing we dont care about ever
yeah
but its cool i guess i mean everyone else and their bro is here anyway

[ /dramabutton.com ]

[crowsicle]

[Well that gives Davesprite pause. Anyone else and he'd shrug it off but Dave is him and he has to know what words he just used there.]

what

[rehashes]

yeah

[ all there is to say on the matter. well, okay, not really, but he wouldn't believe it even if he heard it from his own mouth (he didn't even after talking to Bro himself, at first). ]

[crowsicle]

[No answer.

He may have, at this point, received some other form of confirmation.]