[Accidental Video --> Text] Back-dated to 5-ish this afternoon

[crowsicle]

[The feed clicks on to an aerial view of Siren's Port, just above the rooftops. The camera lingers only briefly on any sight before panning abruptly to something else without giving the viewer time to focus. It dips suddenly and a rooftop rushes up towards the screen, but there's a great flapping noise and the view slows to a stop about five feet above the roof.

Something orange can be seen near the bottom of the screen, but then the view lifts again to scan the dull, cloudy sky. The view is blocked again suddenly by the same orange streaked with liquid yellow--a hand? The view is jostled, and someone lets out a terse, shaky breath.

Whoever it is then seems to notice that the video is recording.] What the fuck.

[The video feed ends. This text hits the network shortly afterwards:]

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

Comments

[greenshift]

yes i would say thats fine too :p
still a preeeetty big deal, dave!!!
im at my apartment with kanaya :o
are you at the baseball diamond???

[crowsicle]

no i got the fuck out of there soon as i got my bearings
didnt anybody teach you about stranger danger
also whos kanaya and when did you get an apartment
and when did you get off hellmurder island
do i need to flap over there and teach someone a lesson regarding taking candy from dudes in white vans

[greenshift]

hehe there wasnt that much need to worry about strangers on my island, silly
kanaya is one of the trolls and a good friend of mine!!!
i think youll like her :)
wait what do you mean???
i got off the island when john helped me get into the game
and then from there the core pulled me here

[crowsicle]

oh
right
i did hear about that

[Through getting torn to pieces by a superpowered Becboss.]

so were friends with trolls now did i miss that memo

[greenshift]

[ SOB SHE'S SORRY ]

yes theyre not so bad!!!
theyve helped us a lot with understanding the game and doing our best

[crowsicle]

ok
thats probably the weirdest thing ive heard all day
one of them being sup youre in canada now bitch

[greenshift]

hehe oh right i forgot to say that
welcome to canada, dave!!
some of the trolls are here with us too
but youve probably noticed that :p

[crowsicle]

yeah i gathered
its just a one stop party shop up in this unforgivable frigid wasteland
have they been giving you any problems

[greenshift]

noooo i just told you theyve been helping us!!!
i know i didnt like them at first either
but theyre actually a lot nicer than they seemed at first and some of them are friends now

[crowsicle]

just making sure
no offense but you and john would make friends with egg monsters from mars if they said so much as hi before getting down to the probes and ovipositor shit
someones gotta keep that shit locked down

[greenshift]

hey!!!!!
noooo theyre really ok
not ALL of them
but a lot of them!

[crowsicle]

haha
ok ill take your word for it
so it went okay with john getting you in the game

[greenshift]

well it didnt completely go to plan
bec getting prototyped was definitely not part of the plan at all

[ which was her faulttttttt :c ]

and caused a lot of problems...
but i got into the game fine and then you
hehe one of you :p
became my server player and helped me set everything up
and then with finding all the froggies so i could breed the genesis frog

[crowsicle]

[Bec was not Jade's fault and Davesprite knows if anyone's to blame it was probably JOHN BEING A TOOL...

But yeah let's not talk about that.]

cool
thats what i wouldve done if i were there
john probably flaked out like a mindnumbing douchebag huh
cant rely on good help these days i mean whats this world coming to
besides the apocalypse i guess

[greenshift]

[ LOOK SHE'S HEARD IT ENOUGH TIMES THAT SHE'S ACCEPTED THAT IT'S HER FAULT ]

nooo you said he was busy
doing the heiry windy thing or something
so we shouldnt bother him
well i mean that you who was a future you said so
one of the future yous???
there was always such a preposterous number of yous in sburb
hehe but two i can keep up with :)

[crowsicle]

[DOES HE NEED TO POP KARKAT A NEW ONE?]

you think so
are you absolutely sure you can handle that much strider
have you gotten all your immunizations im gonna have to see some paperwork on this

[greenshift]

[ IT'S OKAY SHE'S GOT IT COVERED ]

im sure!!!!
even if youre both soooooo cooooooool
im pretty sure i can keep up

[crowsicle]

[What if he wanted to pop Karkat a new one. Just because.]

alright well im gonna have to hold you to that
cause it sounds like im not going anywhere for a while

[greenshift]

thats right, the core sends people here and back
i dont know how it decides :o
because sometimes itll send people back pretty quickly, and other times itll keep them for a while
and sometimes itll bring them back!
ive already been here once that i dont even remember
and dave is the same
rose has been here a few times, but she isnt here now
johns been here for a while though
but its ok its not too bad here
and youll finally get to meet all of us :D

[crowsicle]

yeah im hearing theres some sick time shit going on and not just for daves
basically what im getting from everyone is that everything is as inconvenient as possible for no conceivable reason
though i guess keeping all of you in one place makes my job easier
if you want to meet up though i better get to the powder room and freshen myself up
im not presentable to mixed company atm
maybe some other time
[When he doesn't look like orange roadkill.]

[greenshift]

... :|
dave are you trying to hide something from me???

[crowsicle]

what
why would i do that
look i havent showered in like four months i smell like bird shit

[greenshift]

:|

[crowsicle]

what

[greenshift]

:|