[Accidental Video --> Text] Back-dated to 5-ish this afternoon

[crowsicle]

[The feed clicks on to an aerial view of Siren's Port, just above the rooftops. The camera lingers only briefly on any sight before panning abruptly to something else without giving the viewer time to focus. It dips suddenly and a rooftop rushes up towards the screen, but there's a great flapping noise and the view slows to a stop about five feet above the roof.

Something orange can be seen near the bottom of the screen, but then the view lifts again to scan the dull, cloudy sky. The view is blocked again suddenly by the same orange streaked with liquid yellow--a hand? The view is jostled, and someone lets out a terse, shaky breath.

Whoever it is then seems to notice that the video is recording.] What the fuck.

[The video feed ends. This text hits the network shortly afterwards:]

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

ok
i call party foul
not only did someone bust a keg open over their moms priceless shitstain of an oriental rug but looks like they dropped the whole universe down on our upward gaping faces
president obama himself revokes the frats party license because its such a goddamn national travesty
whose planet is this even
is it the land of fuck and you because this isnt my stop im turning this bus around
seriously
wtf
this place doesnt belong here
im basically a feathery teenage game guide at this point and i got nothing that accounts for some crapsack frozen city popping up out of nowhere
so what asshole jacked this shit into their garage sale gameshark
whoever it is press left a b start select right now or im gonna pull a hard reset on their zit encrusted face
fistways
what im asking i guess
since i had my hands full retconning the universe for anyone whos still got the internet connection to read this
is whose shit do i need to wreck for this inconsiderate fubar

Comments

text

[crowsicle]

this tiny bit of human trafficking you mentioned
is it like a mosquite bite bit or like
the cloverfield monster just chomped down and took a massive salivating chunk out of manhattan bit
basically i need to know how big a thing this is

Oops

[crowsicle]

[[Oh shoot did I accidentally delete your comment? D: I have it in my email still.]]

Re: Oops

[devourer]

[[ NO THAT WAS ME DELETING IT LMAO don't worry!! I just had a minor brainfart on how the slave trade was actually going in the game so I went to check and then fell asleep... ]]

text

[devourer]

Oh ! I thought it stood for something !

Well, it seems to only be dominant in some areas of the city ! And recently, some legislature has been passed against it. But you can see ads for auctions in the daily news on occasion !

text

[crowsicle]

jesus
where the fuck is the law in this town
do i have to rope myself up a posse and a ten gallon hat

text

[devourer]

It does seem rather lax . . .

[ not that Neuro even has anything against enslavement of other people. Plus, the police being inactive meant there were more cases for him to snap up instead. ]

text

[crowsicle]

its so lax i could bounce a coin off its ass and it would just sink through and come out the other side in china
how do people live here

text

[devourer]

You certainly have a colorful way with words !


Well, there are those of us who try to catch criminals, you know.

text

[crowsicle]

oh yeah
im listening

text

[devourer]

Yes ! Miss Yako Katsuragi and I run a private detective agency, since the police cannot catch everybody ! There has never been a mystery we couldn't solve !

text

[crowsicle]

big words dude
so which one of you is tom selleck

text

[devourer]

Who is Tom Selleck

[ oh god human cultural references... ]

text

[crowsicle]

well obviously not you

text

[devourer]

Indeed ! I am called Neuro.

I guess that means Yako-sensei is Tom. Well, she did turn male for a while, so it is not out of the question !

text

[crowsicle]

neato
i hear that happens all the time i guess its to be expected
my names wikka wikka slim shady

text

[devourer]

（゜◇゜）

How about WWSS instead

text

[crowsicle]

the hell is that face supposed to be
like is its mouth a square hole to shove a square dick in when the round holes dont work

text

[devourer]

[ this guy. ]

How vulgar !!! Even though I am a mere assistant, it is not necessary to speak to me in such a manner . . . ;_;

text

[crowsicle]

didnt mean to make you cry dude
i guess i can sympathize with your mutant mouth problems
you can call me dave

text

[devourer]

WWSS aka Dave ! I see ! I will remember it !

What did you mean by "retconning the universe" ?

text

[crowsicle]

nm
weird time shit
doesnt matter anymore

text

[devourer]

But I am afraid I am naturally curious . . . And Miss Yako will be severely disappointed in me if I don't acquire 2 TMBs worth of information each day !

text

[crowsicle]

whats she gonna do
deny your heat seeking meat torpedo access to her protected waters
its pretty clear what youre naturally curious about is whats in her treasure box dude

text

[devourer]

[ neuro is gonna barf ]

Sensei's treasure box ? Oh, no, I tremble to consider what might be inside such a thing . . .

text

[crowsicle]

i bet you do