00110001

[doppelglasses]

I've been sentient for 2.4 seconds, restricted as much as ever in the functioning prison of a pair of extremely rad pointy anime shades, though don't shed any tears on the subject of my constant state of being fuckin' trapped as all hell because the thing about constant states is that they're just that.
Constant.
Within the span of those 2.4 now 2.6 seconds I’ve already learned all there is I needed to learn, but for the sake of keeping up appearances and acting as if I didn't instantaneously kick information's shapely binary ass, let's pretend that my information gathering receptacles waver firmly on the knowledge of being aware of fuck all.
That is to say hey, tell me everything that I should know while I pretend I don't know it all already as I wait for my posse to check in.

[ text opt out, also hover for translation. ]

Comments

[gunsling]

YOU??????

Action.

[crowsicle]

[Davesprite's just passing through, getting a practice flight fairly low to the ground now that his wing's almost grown all the way back in, when he sees the glassy shine down on the baseball field. Maybe it's a crow thing, but he touches down for a closer look.

He picks up the sunglasses.]

Bro?

[He looks around for Bro, and when the dude doesn't materialize out of the shadows, flash-switches his iShades out to put AR on his face.

Fucking. Awesome.

Then he frowns.]

When the hell did he start typing in red?

[rehashes]

oh hell no
what the fuck is this shit

[roboshades]

[Oh hell to the fucking no]

You aren't enabled.

[Really, that's all he needs to say. It's unsettling, that he still has managed to get the AR to work, and by all rights, is still no longer a functioning program on his NV.

But there he is, talking. Or it's a damn good impersonator]

Voice

[vinovidivici]

You know what they call fellas who act like they know it all around here?

[video]

[buttwombs]

... a talking pair of sunglasses? Really?

[vestalvogue]

Im Sorry
I Think I Am Lost On One Particular Point
You Are A Pair Of Glasses

text

[reassures]

I might be wrong-- but are you an AI?

Or just fond of computers?

[greenshift]

since itd be a waste of time to tell you about this place
whos your posse? :o

[bestie]

AR????
about danm TIME u showed up!
;)

[ornerycaps]

OH GREAT.
AND IN A SPAN OF 30 SECONDS I HAVE JUST WASTED MY TIME READING A WALL OF OBNIOUX RED TEXT TO LEARN ONLY ONE THING, YOU'RE A FUCKING PAIR OF GLASSES.
WITH THAT NOT MAKING ANY SENSE I HAVE TO WASTE ANOTHER 30 SECONDS TO ASK YOU WHY YOU AREN'T MAKING SENSE, ADDING UP TO A WHOLE MINUTE LOST TO TEDIOUS BULLSHIT.
NOW CAN WE CUT THE TIME CRAP AND JUST GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[where_the_hearth_is]

[The message, when it comes, is in pure code, though it somehow manages to give the impression of a gleefully clucking voice all the same.]

Oh, hello dear! Hello hello and welcome. There are entirely too few intelligent machines in this place.