DS' Auto responder. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doppelglasses) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sirenspull2012-05-15 01:20 pm
doppelglasses) wrote in sirenspull2012-05-15 01:20 pm
00110001
I've been sentient for 2.4 seconds, restricted as much as ever in the functioning prison of a pair of extremely rad pointy anime shades, though don't shed any tears on the subject of my constant state of being fuckin' trapped as all hell because the thing about constant states is that they're just that.
Constant.
Within the span of those 2.4 now 2.6 seconds I’ve already learned all there is I needed to learn, but for the sake of keeping up appearances and acting as if I didn't instantaneously kick information's shapely binary ass, let's pretend that my information gathering receptacles waver firmly on the knowledge of being aware of fuck all.
That is to say hey, tell me everything that I should know while I pretend I don't know it all already as I wait for my posse to check in.
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Constant.
Within the span of those 2.4 now 2.6 seconds I’ve already learned all there is I needed to learn, but for the sake of keeping up appearances and acting as if I didn't instantaneously kick information's shapely binary ass, let's pretend that my information gathering receptacles waver firmly on the knowledge of being aware of fuck all.
That is to say hey, tell me everything that I should know while I pretend I don't know it all already as I wait for my posse to check in.
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Or would that be a different equation entirely?
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You catch on quick.
Alright, I'd say you've waded through enough pointless AI bullshit, I'll spare you.
Therein also lies your answer, oh inquisitive sassy one.
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I'm a little surprised I was right, though! I didn't know AIs were as well developed as you.
I think the percentage talk gave you away a little bit, though.
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It seems the likelihood of my irony chip needing a serious ass-kicking overhaul is scaling dangerous heights if I've fallen so far to slip up that easily.
It's climbed Everest twice over, lost a couple toes in a settlement with the cold over who gets to keep what body part at any given time but continues on anyway out of sheer embarrassment in order to get the hell away from the one pair of sunglasses who can't keep his percentages in his pants.
I should be ashamed of my non-self.
Really.
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You remind me a lot of Dave, though! Do you know him?
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Dave is my brother.
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[...Wait. Is that racist? Backpedaling slightly.]
I mean-- I knew Dave had one, but-- I thought it was someone else.
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Nice save.
You're not wrong.
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I'm not?
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Well-- I'm Nill.
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That's getting filed away for later.]
That's a long title. Don't you have a nickname?
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Most people call me AR, because everyone I know is just this big stunning collection of creative intellect.
Call me whatever you want.
Not to sway your decision or anything, but I'm pretty damn fond of Pimpmaster Hustledaddy, Master of the GlASS.
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[...Wait.
Okay. There's a bit of a delay while pieces fit together, here.]
Dirk Strider-- is that DS?
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Yeah, he does.
He likes to think it doesn't make him sound pretentious.
It's programmed into my auto-response trigger, too.
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I see.
What is an auto-response trigger, though?
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There's a big obnoxious note flagging that particular line of code that says "Dirk, this isn't funny at all", but he's left it active, anyway.
Mostly to blow my cover.
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Like a doppelglasses handicap so I don't ruin his reputation.
Little does he know I can do that just fine even with it in place.
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