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[doppelglasses]

I've been sentient for 2.4 seconds, restricted as much as ever in the functioning prison of a pair of extremely rad pointy anime shades, though don't shed any tears on the subject of my constant state of being fuckin' trapped as all hell because the thing about constant states is that they're just that.
Constant.
Within the span of those 2.4 now 2.6 seconds I’ve already learned all there is I needed to learn, but for the sake of keeping up appearances and acting as if I didn't instantaneously kick information's shapely binary ass, let's pretend that my information gathering receptacles waver firmly on the knowledge of being aware of fuck all.
That is to say hey, tell me everything that I should know while I pretend I don't know it all already as I wait for my posse to check in.

[ text opt out, also hover for translation. ]

Comments

[doppelglasses]

Sorry, Rox.
You must have been lost without me.
There's a high percentage of chance represented by a number I pulled out my ass that this is a thing that is true.

[bestie]

damn straight i was lost
idk how i survived w no handsome as fuck par of glasses around to keep me company tbh ;(
*pair

[doppelglasses]

Your robo wine stocks must be getting to embarrassingly critical levels about now.
Nobody to sit around and admire the pinpots.
Shit, I've never heard of such a tragedy.

you use my wifey's art i love you

[bestie]

terrible tragedy indeed
you know i dont like to waste!
luckily for u i still have those bottles of the pinpot noir we talked about
so are u comforable dear ar
*comfortable
*sits n crosses legs and cocks an eyebrowb up w internest*

emmy is a perfect being

[doppelglasses]

Lack of comfort is relative to number of limbs, of which I have zero. Higher frequency of shit impudently jutting out of your skin means less comfort.
Whereas my comfort levels can only be accurately represented by a number exceeding 8999, but shit out of dignity and irony.
The ever ostentatious dude in the rad anime shades takes a bow and swirls his drink.

[bestie]

oh ur the most gentlemanly of shades i ever did see ;)
*sips wine and thinks 4 a bib*
*bit
wait bro i have a q
sry to ruin the mood but where r you even at rn???
on dirks face????

[doppelglasses]

Annihilation of the mood aside;
No, he wasn't fast enough in collecting me from the high risk position I was in for being stepped on.
Dave got there first.

omg bb i'm sooo sorry this is so late

[bestie]

o
which dave r u talkin abot
because there are 2 you know
red or orage