sirenspull | 12 [Video]

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12 [Video]

So.

[Crowley is in his apartment, carefully turning something over in his hand. It's a silver knife -- and Crowley is wearing gloves so it doesn't burn him -- but why he has such a thing is beyond anyone's guess. Maybe Crowley just feels like being particularly creepy today. Who knows. Who gives a shit. Not Crowley, that's for sure.]

I thought someone had been feeding my dog something particularly disgusting, as apparently she's gained something of a fanclub within the Port, because she's gained weight. And not only has she gained weight, but she's been eating copious amounts of small fuzzy kittens lately, which is putting a damper both on my budget and my carpet.

Unfortunately, that isn't the case, because some insipid insect within the Port has decided it would be funny to impregnate my dog. Now --

[Crowley will just allow the importance of that statement to fall upon the ears of his loyal and adoring public for a moment before he continues speaking.]

Whoever did this has two options. They can speak now or forever hold their peace. Either way, their eyeballs will be ripped from their sockets and dangled from my windowsill as a warning to anyone else stupid enough to screw my dog.

Cheers.

[Click.]

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Crowley, I have to admit people do love your dog, but I doubt anyone is in love with her.

[You narcissistic twit. The Devil is laaaaughing at you inside.]

When did you create them.

[You didn't think he wouldn't notice, did you? Crowley and the hounds have been hand in hand since he rose to power, okay.

He's just not going to call out the Devil by name without notice.]

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...Holy shit. [he doesn't mean to laugh. Really.

But he is.]

Yes, hilariously witty and charming and let's all paint the nursery together, what do you want?

[He. Is. So. Mad. Sam.]

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[Chuck, at least, has the decent sense to finish laughing before he goes to reply.]

I'm pretty sure the city has laws against that.

Against what, eyeball wind chimes?

My rights have been violated for the last time.

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Kittens...

Well, puppies are cute at least?

Adorable.

[Bitterly.]

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[So those creatures can get pregnant... thats interesting]

It seems you are going to be a grandfather of sorts, Mr.Crowley.

Confetti, it's a fucking parade.

[HE IS SO MAD.]

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You're pretty protective of your dog, huh? Wouldn't it be another dog that got her pregnant?

It's my dog. Of course I am.

[Irritably.]

And the individual in question should have kept a leash on their damn dog.

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Why would you breed one of those?

[Sorry, Crowley. While she may be a fan of some demons (the green with red horned variety), she isn't a fan of hell hounds.]

One, I didn't.

Two, there isn't anything wrong with my dog.

And three, they'll be put out of their misery the moment I can get my hands on them.

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...Presumably it wasn't just the other dog's fault, you know. What're you going to do to your dog?

My dog had nothing to do with this.

[His dog is superior to the insignificant mutt that was wandering around, thank you.]

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Ten bucks says the whole thing's gonna end up on YouTube.

Your psychotic fool of a brother created a damn Hellhound.

[GABRIEL THIS IS SOMEHOW YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.]

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I really hope you aren't accusing some person of said impregnation.

Absolutely.

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[Here Crowley, have Castiel sitting up in his bed at the HoA, with a book he'd been reading discarded off to the side due to the importance of this information.]

I thought I had simply fed her too much.

[She likes chinese food okay.]

You are.

As a result, you're going to be the one to help me dispose of the bodies.

[That's what you get for being a nice person, you tool.]

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What're you so pissed for? If you didn't want something like this to happen, you should've taken her to the vet.

You can't just spay a hellhound, idiot.

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[Elaine asks, just to draw the topic away the anger for now.]

Do you know how many she's expecting?

Eight.

[Somewhat tartly.]

Perhaps nine, if it isn't dead.

[Crowley hasn't exactly poked his dog enough. She's currently hiding underneath a bed. And by hiding underneath a bed, we mean the bed looks like it's hovering in mid-air because she's too big to fit underneath it.]

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You're not talking about actual kittens? [ Shock horror disgust ]

Yes.

I am.

And?

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