12 [Video]

[integrity]

So.

[Crowley is in his apartment, carefully turning something over in his hand. It's a silver knife -- and Crowley is wearing gloves so it doesn't burn him -- but why he has such a thing is beyond anyone's guess. Maybe Crowley just feels like being particularly creepy today. Who knows. Who gives a shit. Not Crowley, that's for sure.]

I thought someone had been feeding my dog something particularly disgusting, as apparently she's gained something of a fanclub within the Port, because she's gained weight. And not only has she gained weight, but she's been eating copious amounts of small fuzzy kittens lately, which is putting a damper both on my budget and my carpet.

Unfortunately, that isn't the case, because some insipid insect within the Port has decided it would be funny to impregnate my dog. Now --

[Crowley will just allow the importance of that statement to fall upon the ears of his loyal and adoring public for a moment before he continues speaking.]

Whoever did this has two options. They can speak now or forever hold their peace. Either way, their eyeballs will be ripped from their sockets and dangled from my windowsill as a warning to anyone else stupid enough to screw my dog.

Cheers.

[Click.]

Comments

[shifting]

Most of the time that's the owner's fault. They're small, so they treat 'em like a baby. ...'Course I suspect some of them of having complexes. The dogs, I mean.

[he's stripping casually as he talks, down to his boxers by the time he stops. (Normally he'd only have to unbutton his jeans, but he's becoming bigger, not smaller, and jeans are expensive.)]

[integrity]

[Crowley... doesn't ask, oddly, about the clothes. He looks as if he couldn't care less.]

I see.

And here I was convinced it was a genetic thing.

[shifting]

Well, the yappy bark probably is. But there's no helpin' that. Anyway -

[he takes a breath, pulls down his boxers] Here we go.

[and there's melding of flesh, a silent mutation of bone and muscle, thickening and strengthening and twisting until there's a good-sized hellhound wagging its shadowy tail up at Crowley]

[integrity]

[ ... how interesting.

It's a perfect replica. If Crowley didn't know the hounds of Hell like the back of his hand, he could swear they were one and the same.]

Fascinating.

Can you teleport?

[shifting]

[Sam-the-hellhound cocks his head in question - he hadn't known they could teleport. Honestly, he's tried very little out in this new form beyond running around and pouncing down a prophet. He knows he's invisible, but otherwise... they're still a mystery.

It had taken him weeks of shifting to get the hang of flying as a bird - how long would trying something like teleportation take?

...And wow, there are a lot of new and interesting smells on Crowley. He's never smelled a demon before.]

[integrity]

[Crowley is unusual. There is the host -- long since dead, but kept from rotting and falling apart by the twisting chaos that lies within Crowley -- the demon itself, the tortured soul. Other than the darkness and the chaos, which is carefully kept in control and at bay, he carries a scent of fine liquor, smoke, and the tiniest tinge of oranges.

He may not need to eat, but he has a few things he still likes to eat.]

I take that as a no.

[shifting]

[Sam tail slooowly lowers, wagging cautiously. His head droops in a anxious, smoky discomfort. As in any other canine form, it feels just plain bad to disappoint.]

[integrity]

[Jesus. Dogs.]

What happens if you try?

[shifting]

[Sam-the-hellhound tilts his head. He wonders... he could talk to Lucifer while in this form. Maybe the demon is telepathic as well? It would really make answering questions like this easier.

Can you hear me?]

[integrity]

[Crowley arches his eyebrows.]

You've managed to figure out how to communicate but not how to teleport?

How useless.

[shifting]

[hey, ow, mean. :[

Sam lowers his head with a flash of teeth.]

You try shifting into a bird sometime and learning how to fly. Knowing this shit doesn't just come - pre-packaged. I have to work for it. ...I didn't even know they could teleport.

[integrity]

Lucifer didn't tell you the hounds teleported? Seriously?

[Crowley doesn't look very impressed.]

[shifting]

I didn't really get a lesson. He just showed me, and we shifted, and we played around the city together for a while.

[lying down, so dejected. He wants your approval, Crowley. :< ]

[integrity]

[Crowley loves dogs. A lot, actually. He really, really, really loves dogs. But he will not give in, goddammit. 8|]

You played.

[shifting]

[Sam slowly crawls closer, then lies down again, his tail sweeping slowly across the carpet]

Yeah. Chased each other, wrestled. Even went and visited Chuck.