sirenspull | 12 [Video]

So.

[Crowley is in his apartment, carefully turning something over in his hand. It's a silver knife -- and Crowley is wearing gloves so it doesn't burn him -- but why he has such a thing is beyond anyone's guess. Maybe Crowley just feels like being particularly creepy today. Who knows. Who gives a shit. Not Crowley, that's for sure.]

I thought someone had been feeding my dog something particularly disgusting, as apparently she's gained something of a fanclub within the Port, because she's gained weight. And not only has she gained weight, but she's been eating copious amounts of small fuzzy kittens lately, which is putting a damper both on my budget and my carpet.

Unfortunately, that isn't the case, because some insipid insect within the Port has decided it would be funny to impregnate my dog. Now --

[Crowley will just allow the importance of that statement to fall upon the ears of his loyal and adoring public for a moment before he continues speaking.]

Whoever did this has two options. They can speak now or forever hold their peace. Either way, their eyeballs will be ripped from their sockets and dangled from my windowsill as a warning to anyone else stupid enough to screw my dog.

Cheers.

[Click.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's a hellhound. Trained by you. Sorry if I'm not convinced of it's cuddliness. It's even worse that someone decided they wanted more of them.

The fact that it is a hellhound trained by me is exactly why you shouldn't be so concerned about her volatile nature.

[Somewhat clipped tones.]

She isn't of any threat to you or anyone else in the city, darling. So, please -- spare me the lecture and get to the point of why you're wasting my time.

I've seen hellhounds trained before. It never ends well. And the fact that there'll be more of them out there now? I'm pretty sure it's against city rules or something.

Have you.

[And, with a snap of his fingers, something large curls up on the couch, causing it to sag. It's invisible, unless Fred has the ability to see the hounds of hell, but should she be able to, she can see a massive black furred beast, with large claws and teeth, and brilliant red eyes that are watching the NV.

And she seems perfectly docile, breathing slow, even, and peaceful as she relaxes on the couch.

Crowley tosses Fred a look.]

You've never met me.

It's under your control. [She doesn't spook easily though she is visibly tense at the sudden extra weight on the couch.]

And you're not the first demon I've crossed. [Though it's not speciest. Just... people controlling beasts like that. In the hell she'd been in, demons had trained hellhounds to gather humans to sell into slavery or just slaughter at will.]

She, by her very nature, is a kind beast. She will only attack something if I am threatened.

[Or Castiel is threatened. But Crowley doesn't feel like sharing and caring.

He shrugs, though, at her comment about demons.]

Draw whatever conclusions you'd like to about me. I could care less as long as you don't shoot my dog.

[She still hasn't moved a muscle or even addressed the thing on her couch, just looking straight at the camera.]

Then keep her away from me.

Why would I care enough about you to send her to your doorstep?

[Almost incredulous.]

That's somewhat arrogant of you, don't you think? I've better things to do with my time than torment a random passerby.

Right. I'm sure you're not getting your kicks from this. At all. [All the glaring, Crowley. All of it.]

[Crowley rolls his eyes.]

Sweetheart.

[Calmly.]

If you honestly think I get my kicks out of seeing a pack of hellhounds tear apart a city, you obviously have no idea who I am.

For future reference, I enjoy fireplaces, fine wine, and an excellent variety of movies from the 1930s.

[Crowley, for once, is actually telling the truth.]

Hey, I'm not saying demons can't be cuddly. My best friend back home is one and he's a fan of Sinatra, a white suit, and scotch.

I just don't like their pets. [She's still not convinced on the animal front.]

You have a choice to kill or not. It doesn't. You tell it what to do.

[Ugh. White suits. Ugh. Ugh.]

Don't be a fool.

[He inclines his head.]

Everyone has a choice. Even the hounds of hell. Anything can override their base nature if there's something in it for them.

[And Crowley sips from a glass of scotch that's magically appeared in his hand.]

I, for example, find most of my kind aggravating and repulsive. She, as well, doesn't exactly enjoy playing with others of their kind because she was raised in an entirely different manner than most other hellhounds.

[Crowley raised her like a pet. Most other demons beat them into submission.]

They're animals. It's not like they understand. It does what you tell it to and it does it because you probably feed it. Or punish it. That's pretty basic. It's not doing it because it wants to. Or not doing it because it doesn't.

[She inclined her head towards the imprint in her couch.]

And most of your kind are aggravating and repulsive.

You are completely and utterly underestimating them.

[And suddenly, Growley is gone -- and is now curled up on Crowley's couch with a long sigh.]

And too right, they are.

[The demon shrugs slightly.]

But that's why I'm in charge and they aren't. Someone needs to instill sense and order, hm?

[When the beast is gone she visibly relaxes, her hands unclenching.]

Based on evolution, I'm really not.

[Not unless she's seen studies and tests done on one's brain.]

You organized demons? I didn't even know that was possible. Unless you're the one trying to start the next Apocalypse.

[All the suspicion.]

I was the one to stop it, actually.

I thought Sam and Dean stopped it.

Sam and Dean wouldn't have been able to accomplish a damn thing without my input and assistance.

[He personally would have loved to see them attempt to track down the Horsemen by themselves, though, it would've been hilarious. But then they would have all died and Crowley couldn't have that.]

Congrats. [Although she has to ask Chuck about this.]

Thank you.

[8)]

That makes two of us. [So she's not really impressed.]

[Crowley's not really out to impress anyone save for himself. And he finds himself quite impressive, thank you. So that's all that matters. C:]

Well. Lovely chatting with you.

But I have puppies to kill.

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