sirenspull | 4; voice; instantly regrettable post

So.

[ He's speaking a little slowly, the bitterness properly enunciated in the slight tipsy slur to his voice. ]

… You know. I wasn't going to think anything of it, I have way better things to be working on and thinking about, but the more I think about it the more it's really burning me up. I mean, I really wasn't going to think anything of it but then--

[ He clicks his tongue and pauses to take another sip of whatever he's drinking. ]

I think that's really great. Really. My dad never remembered my birthday and he always blamed it on the leap year, but -- but my birthday's the twenty-eighth, that's just bullshit, right? I -- I, um -- it's so stupid, I don't even know if they remember either because I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be dead--

[ There's a clink as something breaks, and apparently spills as well. ]

Oopsie. What was I saying? Oh -- no, the worst part is I forgot about my birthday too! [ He laughs a little, quiet and forced and slightly whimpery. ] Usually Liz says it to me in the morning, but…

'm not sure what I'm trying to say actually. I'm just giving myself a headache.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ a pause ]

Yeah, sure. What's up?

[ He rubs his mouth. ]

Don't let me -- um. I shouldn't drink. I-I have... I had a drug problem and I don't want to-- [ He shakes his head. ] I can't do it again.

[ there's this long silence and her eyes kind of widen. she tugs at her hair before finally: ]

Of course, Harry. I'll do whatever I can to -- to help you out. Okay? [ taking his hand with her free one and squeezing it ]

[ He flinches his hand away, looking pale. ]

Thanks. I just-- [ Shakes his head. ] I keep thinking about it, more and more. It's so complicated, Mary Jane. You can't understand how complicated it is.

[ she looks a little surprised by this and even a little hurt, but it's brief. ]

No, I don't. I couldn't ever. But I know that it hurts people and it ruins people and I don't want that for you. I don't want anything that horrible to happen to you.

I mean--

[ He buries his face in his hands. ]

I'm sorry. My mind's getting away from me. This isn't your responsibility.

[ leaning over and then hesitantly putting her hand on his shoulder ]

Harry, I'm your friend.

You're going to think I'm crazy.

Why would I even think that?

Just promise me you won't let me near anything. No drinks, no pills.

Look, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you, even if I have to hover over you twenty-four seven. Okay?

No no no. No, no. Not like that. I don't need you babysitting me.

I won't babysit you. I promise. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to -- you know. [ babysit... ]

I mean it. I just need a hand, not supervision.

And don't tell Peter about any of this.

Peter doesn't know about any of this?

No, I mean... that I asked you to-- he'll take it the wrong way.

Why would he? Do you think he'd get -- get mad?

Something like that.

[ a pause... ]

I won't tell him.

[ Harry looks over at her, and decides he owes her some explanation. ]

He'll think it means something bad.

[ pushing her hair back ]

How?

[ she honestly doesn't understand ]

Because, I-- [ He sighs and looks super duper uncomfortable. ] I don't know where to start.

From the beginning maybe...?

I... okay, there's three things you need to know. One, I haven't touched pills since college when I almost -- when I overdosed. Two, I had to go to a hospital for a while for-- [ He taps his temple. ] And three...

[ He puts his hand over his mouth. ]

I almost... with Peter, I tried to...

[ He can't bring himself to say it. ]

[ she can just feel her stomach sinking as he speaks. further down and down and at the last part. she has a feeling she knows exactly what happened. ]

Something... bad...?

action!!!

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