sirenspull | 4; voice; instantly regrettable post

So.

[ He's speaking a little slowly, the bitterness properly enunciated in the slight tipsy slur to his voice. ]

… You know. I wasn't going to think anything of it, I have way better things to be working on and thinking about, but the more I think about it the more it's really burning me up. I mean, I really wasn't going to think anything of it but then--

[ He clicks his tongue and pauses to take another sip of whatever he's drinking. ]

I think that's really great. Really. My dad never remembered my birthday and he always blamed it on the leap year, but -- but my birthday's the twenty-eighth, that's just bullshit, right? I -- I, um -- it's so stupid, I don't even know if they remember either because I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be dead--

[ There's a clink as something breaks, and apparently spills as well. ]

Oopsie. What was I saying? Oh -- no, the worst part is I forgot about my birthday too! [ He laughs a little, quiet and forced and slightly whimpery. ] Usually Liz says it to me in the morning, but…

'm not sure what I'm trying to say actually. I'm just giving myself a headache.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just promise me you won't let me near anything. No drinks, no pills.

Look, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you, even if I have to hover over you twenty-four seven. Okay?

No no no. No, no. Not like that. I don't need you babysitting me.

I won't babysit you. I promise. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to -- you know. [ babysit... ]

I mean it. I just need a hand, not supervision.

And don't tell Peter about any of this.

Peter doesn't know about any of this?

No, I mean... that I asked you to-- he'll take it the wrong way.

Why would he? Do you think he'd get -- get mad?

Something like that.

[ a pause... ]

I won't tell him.

[ Harry looks over at her, and decides he owes her some explanation. ]

He'll think it means something bad.

[ pushing her hair back ]

How?

[ she honestly doesn't understand ]

Because, I-- [ He sighs and looks super duper uncomfortable. ] I don't know where to start.

From the beginning maybe...?

I... okay, there's three things you need to know. One, I haven't touched pills since college when I almost -- when I overdosed. Two, I had to go to a hospital for a while for-- [ He taps his temple. ] And three...

[ He puts his hand over his mouth. ]

I almost... with Peter, I tried to...

[ He can't bring himself to say it. ]

[ she can just feel her stomach sinking as he speaks. further down and down and at the last part. she has a feeling she knows exactly what happened. ]

Something... bad...?

[ He's sweating a little. He nods slowly. ]

[ playing with her hair again nervously... ]

So -- so then what happened?

[ Harry shakes his head, hesitating. ]

I-- I didn't. I didn't do it.

That's -- that's good. That's really good.

[ a pause ]

Are you sure you want to tell me this?

[ He shakes his head. ]

No. But here we are anyway.

[ an awkward little noise and a beat ]

So how does that... add to Peter thinking this is a bad thing?

[ Harry crosses his arms, sitting back. ]

He'll think I'm -- you know.

That you're trying to --

No!

[ Looks at her sadly. ]

Trust me.

action!!!

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