001: Video

[hulkbusted]

[The man on the screen looks utterly exhausted. Haggard might even be apt considering the greyish pallor of his skin under his dark stubble and the even darker circles under his eyes. When the video jostles in his hold for a moment, it displays his bare chest before coming up to his face. He looks like he tried to wash off some combination of mud, sand, and various other things best not examined too closely and didn't do too great a job of it. Despite that, he tries for a tired smile and a finger taps the screen before withdrawing.]

First off, I'd like to say that Tony Stark makes the world's most durable phone. I'd do a testimonial commercial, but that might be in bad taste.

Second, I've read some of the information available and I think you'll understand it's not the easiest thing to swallow, but I'm going with it as a working theory for now. Don't ask why, it's a long story.

Third... [He trails off and turns his head away from the camera before looking back at it] I don't know what the third is, let's say I want to issue a blanket apology and leave it at that.

[ooc: The Hulk ended up getting stuck outside at sundown and fought (pounding and getting pounded on) all night. Between that and a chitauri invasion, I figure Bruce is feeling a little run down.]

Comments

[symmachy]

[That is probably for the best. The small redhead smiles, but doesn't show her teeth. She doesn't want to scare him off just yet. She offers her hand for a shake.]

I am. Hello, Bruce.

[hulkbusted]

[Bruce takes her hand, mindful of the fact that he's currently holding his pants up with his other hand, shirtless, barefoot, and in pretty much all respects, not at his best.]

Thanks for coming out.

[symmachy]

[It's okay, Scatty doesn't mind the shirtlessness or the almost pantslessness. She would give him her own belt, but it probably wouldn't fit, as she is roughly 5'3" and maybe a buck fifteen. Sorry bro. The hilts of her twin short swords are peeking out from behind her shoulders, and there's a pair of nunchaku tucked into her belt that she won't offer him.]

It was no trouble. [A quick up-and-down.] I believe clothing should be first on your list.

[hulkbusted]

Yeah, the weather's okay for this, but [he rubs a hand on his hairy stomach] in the interest of good taste and propriety, clothes are a priority.

If you don't mind my asking, are the ninja weapons customary in this city? I ran into a girl yesterday who had a good selection of her own.

[symmachy]

[She gives a short laugh, but it's almost melodic all the same.] Follow me, I will take you to a shop.

[The redhead runs her fingers gently over the wood of the nunchaku.] I don't know about others, but I always carry a weapon on me, just in case. I always have, and I always will. [Yes, even since she was born.]

[hulkbusted]

Hold on. [He pulls out one of his pockets to show that it's empty.] Do you have any homeless charities? I don't have any money.

[He assumes that's hyperbole. Little does he know...]

[symmachy]

[Scatty waves her hand at him idly.] I will purchase clothing for you, it's no trouble. Now, come. [And she turns and start waling. You'd better follow or else you'll just be mostly naked forever.]

[hulkbusted]

[Bruce stares at her back and wonders briefly if he's about to become a kept man through some bizarre local custom.]

I don't do windows. [But he's following, picking over the rocks and walking gingerly where the ground surface is hot from the sun.]

[symmachy]

[Sorry, she prefers blondes. No kept man here--at least, not yet.

She turns to him, a blank expression on her face.] What do you mean?

[hulkbusted]

[Strike three on the day's attempts at jokes, Bruce, and two with the same person.

He stops and hitches his pants up to senior citizen height.]

I mean if you need me to pay you back for the clothes, I don't do windows. I'm pretty good at small appliance repair though.

[symmachy]

[She just has a weird sense of humor. Most human jokes go right over her head.

Oh my god Bruce how could you, you're only forty-two years old. She doesn't let on that she's embarrassed for him, though.]

Ah. [She continues walking.] I'm in the process of opening a dojo. You can help me with things there, once it's settled.

[hulkbusted]

[He just needs a belt!]

I can sweep or clean or paint. [He follows, still mindful of his feet. Sure he heals fast, but he doesn't have the Hulk's impervious skin, and rocks still hurt.]

What forms will you be teaching?

[symmachy]

[Fine that is like, the first thing you will get okay.]

Good. And whatever form people want to learn. [She glances back at him and pauses.] Would you like me to carry you? [Gently smirking on the inside. But it is a legitimate offer.]

[hulkbusted]

[Or some pants that haven't had the waistband stretched to accommodate an eight foot tall behemoth... he just needs the world to know the old man look isn't a fashion choice. He has some standards; he turned down the purple shorts...]

That's getting pretty all-inclusive there.

[He shakes his head at the offer.] I'd be drummed out of the men's smoking lounge if I let you carry me, and before you ask, that's a joke.

[symmachy]

[The purple shorts would have definitely been more eyebrow-raise worthy than these grandpa pants.]

I'm an all-inclusive sort of girl.

[See, she can joke too. Except it's true. She knows every form. His joke does get a small smile out of her, though.] Have it your way.

[hulkbusted]

I try not to argue with heavily armed people. It doesn't end well. [Just usually for the heavily armed people, not him.]

I wish more people would tell me that.

[symmachy]

Probably a good choice.

[She raises an eyebrow. They aren't too far from town anymore.] Why don't they?

[hulkbusted]

It's a long story. Choices I made. Choices other people made. I just accept that I don't always get what I want. [Which is oddly both a lie and a truth at the same time.]

[symmachy]

[Her lips press together.] You shouldn't just accept something like that.

[hulkbusted]

If I don't, I'm not the only one who's going to suffer.

[symmachy]

[Hm.]

Why is that?

[hulkbusted]

[It's habit not to talk about it or tell. Hell, it's more than habit, it's practically a survival instinct, but the cat is already out of the bag and posted publicly on a heavily-trafficked network. So why not tell the heavily-armed, not-quite-as-human-as-she-looks girl? Actually... good point?]

You first. What are you?

[symmachy]

[The question doesn't surprise her as much as it might have a few weeks ago. She smirks a bit.]

Not human, but you've probably already guessed that.

[hulkbusted]

I'm not a rocket scientist but I am a physicist and a biochemist, so I might have picked up on something just a bit out of the ordinary.

[symmachy]

[She laughed.]

It was the running, wasn't it. Well, for the record, the humani of this age call me "vampire." [And she smiles to show her teeth.]