001: Video

[hulkbusted]

[The man on the screen looks utterly exhausted. Haggard might even be apt considering the greyish pallor of his skin under his dark stubble and the even darker circles under his eyes. When the video jostles in his hold for a moment, it displays his bare chest before coming up to his face. He looks like he tried to wash off some combination of mud, sand, and various other things best not examined too closely and didn't do too great a job of it. Despite that, he tries for a tired smile and a finger taps the screen before withdrawing.]

First off, I'd like to say that Tony Stark makes the world's most durable phone. I'd do a testimonial commercial, but that might be in bad taste.

Second, I've read some of the information available and I think you'll understand it's not the easiest thing to swallow, but I'm going with it as a working theory for now. Don't ask why, it's a long story.

Third... [He trails off and turns his head away from the camera before looking back at it] I don't know what the third is, let's say I want to issue a blanket apology and leave it at that.

[ooc: The Hulk ended up getting stuck outside at sundown and fought (pounding and getting pounded on) all night. Between that and a chitauri invasion, I figure Bruce is feeling a little run down.]

Comments

[symmachy]

[Sorry, she prefers blondes. No kept man here--at least, not yet.

She turns to him, a blank expression on her face.] What do you mean?

[hulkbusted]

[Strike three on the day's attempts at jokes, Bruce, and two with the same person.

He stops and hitches his pants up to senior citizen height.]

I mean if you need me to pay you back for the clothes, I don't do windows. I'm pretty good at small appliance repair though.

[symmachy]

[She just has a weird sense of humor. Most human jokes go right over her head.

Oh my god Bruce how could you, you're only forty-two years old. She doesn't let on that she's embarrassed for him, though.]

Ah. [She continues walking.] I'm in the process of opening a dojo. You can help me with things there, once it's settled.

[hulkbusted]

[He just needs a belt!]

I can sweep or clean or paint. [He follows, still mindful of his feet. Sure he heals fast, but he doesn't have the Hulk's impervious skin, and rocks still hurt.]

What forms will you be teaching?

[symmachy]

[Fine that is like, the first thing you will get okay.]

Good. And whatever form people want to learn. [She glances back at him and pauses.] Would you like me to carry you? [Gently smirking on the inside. But it is a legitimate offer.]

[hulkbusted]

[Or some pants that haven't had the waistband stretched to accommodate an eight foot tall behemoth... he just needs the world to know the old man look isn't a fashion choice. He has some standards; he turned down the purple shorts...]

That's getting pretty all-inclusive there.

[He shakes his head at the offer.] I'd be drummed out of the men's smoking lounge if I let you carry me, and before you ask, that's a joke.

[symmachy]

[The purple shorts would have definitely been more eyebrow-raise worthy than these grandpa pants.]

I'm an all-inclusive sort of girl.

[See, she can joke too. Except it's true. She knows every form. His joke does get a small smile out of her, though.] Have it your way.

[hulkbusted]

I try not to argue with heavily armed people. It doesn't end well. [Just usually for the heavily armed people, not him.]

I wish more people would tell me that.

[symmachy]

Probably a good choice.

[She raises an eyebrow. They aren't too far from town anymore.] Why don't they?

[hulkbusted]

It's a long story. Choices I made. Choices other people made. I just accept that I don't always get what I want. [Which is oddly both a lie and a truth at the same time.]

[symmachy]

[Her lips press together.] You shouldn't just accept something like that.

[hulkbusted]

If I don't, I'm not the only one who's going to suffer.

[symmachy]

[Hm.]

Why is that?

[hulkbusted]

[It's habit not to talk about it or tell. Hell, it's more than habit, it's practically a survival instinct, but the cat is already out of the bag and posted publicly on a heavily-trafficked network. So why not tell the heavily-armed, not-quite-as-human-as-she-looks girl? Actually... good point?]

You first. What are you?

[symmachy]

[The question doesn't surprise her as much as it might have a few weeks ago. She smirks a bit.]

Not human, but you've probably already guessed that.

[hulkbusted]

I'm not a rocket scientist but I am a physicist and a biochemist, so I might have picked up on something just a bit out of the ordinary.

[symmachy]

[She laughed.]

It was the running, wasn't it. Well, for the record, the humani of this age call me "vampire." [And she smiles to show her teeth.]

[hulkbusted]

[Without thinking, Bruce tries to adjust his glasses only to remember that they were probably crushed on a helicarrier in a world he might or might not be in. He leans closer to get a better look at her teeth.]

Hereditary or acquired? And I'll warn you that my blood is poisonous if that's your thing.

[symmachy]

[She takes note of the motion. He'll need corrective lenses. She adds it to her list.

Her lips press together again, but she doesn't stop smiling.]

A bit of both. Neither of my parents are vampires, but they are Immortal. Only my sister and I are like this. The reason why is a long story. [And she laughs again.] And blood isn't "my thing." I'm a vegetarian.

[hulkbusted]

I know long stories. Maybe another time.

Your lips say you're a vegetarian, those teeth say something else.

[symmachy]

[Oh, Bruce. She's liking you more by the second.]

My lips [not hips damn you] don't lie. The teeth are mostly for show.

[Mostly.]

[hulkbusted]

[When you're semi-unkillable, have poisonous blood, and have come out the other side of what should have been a successful suicide attempt, your survival instincts when faced with a vampire might just be a tad skewed, so why not ask questions? What kind of scientist would he be if he wasn't curious?]

I'm not entirely buying it, but let's table that for a second. Why are you a vampire and not just a super-fast, child of immortals, vegetarian with sharp teeth? Or is this a valid lifestyle choice for vampires like veganism for humans?

[symmachy]

[To be honest, it's been a while since anyone has asked Scathach any intelligent questions about her species. So she doesn't mind all that much. Prepare for an onslaught of information that you probably won't understand.]

I was born shortly after Danu Talis sank--you'd call it Atlantis. It was a place of strong magic, and after that magic was released, it changed some of us young ones. My twin and I were born like this, somehow different than other immortals. Some of us were monsters. Others of us found we couldn't feel. [She paused.] In my world, vampyres--with a "y"--drink blood because that is the strongest source of emotions in a being. My clan evolved to go straight to the source. So no, it isn't a lifestyle choice.

[hulkbusted]

[A small, slightly embarrassing bit of Bruce at the back of his head hears her general age and gives thanks that he wouldn't be perving on jailbait after all.]

Atlantis, immortals... You know, if I hadn't been spending time with Thor recently I'd have trouble swallowing this. So what's the source your clan goes straight to?

[While he files away the teeth as potentially vestigial structures, although he's leaving that open-ended because those are awfully wicked looking to be on par with the appendix or a caudal tail.]

[symmachy]

[Haha, no. Sometimes Scatty forgets that she doesn't look much older than seventeen. Being short is sometimes the only thing that helps her remember.]

Thor? Cute kid, last time I saw him. I bet Uncle Odin is just as crotchety as ever, though. [Yes, uncle. In her world, most of the immortals are related via blood or marriage.] The source is called the aura. Each sentient being has one. It's a build-up of a person's emotions, of life-force, that covers them like a second skin. It's usually invisible, but... certain individuals can bring it out. Few humani can harness its power.