gaveherwings: (Back)
Dr. Daedalus Yumeno ([personal profile] gaveherwings) wrote in [community profile] sirenspull2012-03-19 03:36 pm

[Voice]

This city...

The utter lack of planning for the future of its citizens is ever just-so-slightly disconcerting, troubling enough to bring me around and back to it again and again.

I do consider in stride that Romdeau, the city I've come from, was rigidly modeled and structured. That no single entity beyond the administrative body was permitted to extend its influence wildly over the population. But I also have to consider its ultimate crippled fate, for over-reliance on automated management. The dearth of options and openness, and what was sacrificed for order and a peaceable system. Still, I often hesitate to call it better or worse here.

And yet... there are small encounters which leave a man questioning these things, constantly. I don't speak about them over the network much, because it doesn't really suit the daily, casual discussions the newcomer community carries on here. Not everyone cares for speaking about societies. That and my, ah- unique perspective usually requires a good deal of preliminary explanation.

Still. It's good to hear some fresh opinions. There are some newer arrivals I haven't spoken with yet, or seen at the clinic.

I spoke to a new father today, as I was passing through delivery floor. He was waiting and anxious, and you could sense an air of joy and nerves. His son was perfectly healthy, seven pounds two ounces, no defects.

I asked- (because it's one of those questions I'm always curious to see new parents respond to, in a city like this) what he hoped his son would be, in twenty years.

(I should preface this by including that where I'm from, these matters were mostly preordained. Here, the way people find their way in the world is different, and so naturally it interests me a good deal.)

"Oh, it's far too early for me to say, isn't it?" He told me, and seemed sheepish at the question. And then we spoke a little more- eventually what came up was an avalanche of money problems. He just hoped his child would be able to find his way in the world, and not end up selling parts of himself to SERO, or AGI. Apparently, there had been some financial matters resolved with compensated donations, in his past...to pay for education, when funding for his scholarships fell through. Now, he was still out of a job. Corporate had laid him off.

"Well, I'm a newcomer, I've been in this city less than two years. If I can become a doctor here, then certainly anyone-"

He told me then that newcomers were part of the reason his funding was cut. It was a tense moment, but we resolved it like civil gentlemen- I wished him and his family well. We parted ways.

I wonder, sometimes, if it really is right of us to assert ourselves into this city. It would be respectful to let the natives have every opportunity first, of course, but then what would we be left with? I shudder to think. I also don't believe that they'd ever cease being so competitive among themselves- so a small immigrant population of 300 or so should really not make so significant a difference.

Moreover, I've worked for this position. I was made to be able to handle even greater things, even if that place was never assigned for me here. I shouldn't feel guilt, or strain, for doing well for myself- should I?

What a foolish thing, to struggle with these defensive feelings, even when every rational thought says I shouldn't bother.
 
cognidis: (Listen carefully.)

audio;

[personal profile] cognidis 2012-03-22 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ He thinks about that for a minute, and- well. Oddly enough, he finds he's not so eager to leave the Port, either. Granted, he still has obligations to the people at home -- to Vash and his brother's memory -- but he's learned, over time, it's better to accept his circumstances and adapt than to fret over things he can't change.

Not to mention, there are times he...actually rather likes it here. Despite how bad things can get, the life he's leading now is more stable than anything he's had since he was a kid. It's a sobering thought, really, but it makes him appreciate what he has. ]


...yeah.

I know I have to go home eventually, but- I like it here, sometimes.
cognidis: (I can help.)

audio;

[personal profile] cognidis 2012-03-22 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
What kind of things?
cognidis: (Look to the stars.)

audio;

[personal profile] cognidis 2012-03-22 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh, Daedalus. You and Livio like a lot of the same things. ]

I like the seasons, too. And the ocean. I never saw one before I came here.

[ A beat. ]

I'd miss a lot of people if I went home.
cognidis: (Front and center.)

audio;

[personal profile] cognidis 2012-03-22 02:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah.

[ A beat. ]

It's worth it, though, I think. Even though I might forget it all when I go home, I wouldn't change what I'm doing now.
cognidis: (With your head held high.)

audio;

[personal profile] cognidis 2012-03-23 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
...I dunno.

It seems too real to be a dream.

[ A beat. ]

I'd like to remember this place if I ever get sent back.
cognidis: (Look to the stars.)

audio;

[personal profile] cognidis 2012-03-27 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ ...a pause. ]

I wish we could.