sirenspull | 003 ♋ VIDEO

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003 ♋ VIDEO

[Here's a first, Karkat's actually saying fuck text all together right off the bat and just going with video. His apartment isn't really anything to brag about behind him, just a bunch of scattered DVD's and a strange purple pod thing with green slime in it viewable behind the couch off to the side of the screen.]

I've heard about and done some research regarding this upcoming human holiday, and it seems like a bunch of conflicting stories and bullshit. Doesn't this entire thing defeat the purpose of people telling their kids not to take candy from strangers? Like "Hey dumbass don't take candy from someone you don't know in case they're trying to kill or rape you or something. Unless it's the last day of that month, then dress up in a pretty costume for the nice serial killer rapist and take whatever they give you."

Seriously, what the fuck humans?

[He shakes his head, because seriously. Seriously he does not understand you humans.]

That bullshit aside, I'm kind of looking forward to the parties that come with it, never celebrated any human holidays before but I've seen them in a lot of movies and they look interesting. So who can tell me more about those?

[He almost goes to turn off his NV, but seems to remember something.]

Oh yeah. Hey, Naruto, that's your name right? Come on asshole, the injury is healed and you owe me a fight.

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Pretty sure America ruined it. Halloween, I mean. [This is a very posh accent.] Time, too, I guess.

How do you mean?

[Luckily he's researched enough to know what the fuck he meant by America.]

Well, in England - I don't know if they still do it this way; it was a long time ago. But I suspect America is the one who ruined it. Anyway, back then, in England, people went souling, not trick-or-treating, and when you went souling, you'd get soul cakes, which are excellent, and it's also a time for giving coins and food and bits like that out to the poor folk who come round to your door. Now we've got everyone dressing like slutty bees and eating candy corn, which is bad. [Never mind that Alois once spent a Halloween as a slutty bee.]

Huh.

[He looks mildly confused, he hadn't been able to find out any information like that online. Then again, bullshit you find online can be scarcely reliable.]

That sounds like it makes a lot more fucking sense and less retarded. What's a soul cake?

They're little cakes, maybe the size of your hand, made with spices and sugar, and they've got currants in them, or raisins, and they've got the cross atop since they're alms. In return, the children and poor folk who get them have to pray for the dead souls. Very pious.

Know if there's a place around here that has them? Or at least would know how to make them?

[Spice and sugar is always a good combo.]

Our house will probably be making them! [And whatever tinge of disdain he might've had about religion or whatever is set aside instantly.] I'd bet Ciel will set some for sale, too, or at least I'll suggest it. —Oh, since he runs a sweets place.

I've got shit I've got to save up for so I can't really waste money on sweets. Have the recipie for them?

If you come to the shop when it has them, I'll make them give you a few no charge! I mean, they're soul cakes. You get them for souling. They shouldn't even be charged for anyway. [SPARKLE]

I don't have the recipe myself, I know my maid knows it... I could probably get it from her, but it'd be a shame for you to miss out, since I'm certain she's capable of being one of the topmost soul cake bakers.

That's actually kind of awesome, just let me know whenever they get them up. And might want that recipe for myself anyways just to practice it. Or get a certain asshole to try and make it if I can't.

Well, make sure that asshole puts the cross on top, or it's not a soul cake. Very important.

The shop is Funtom, by the way, and I'm sure Ciel's going to make an announcement when he starts the Halloween sales, since he likes business-related things, or talking about them, or something. You can just say, 'Alois said I can pick some up for myself!' I doubt he'll make a fuss, but if he does, say, 'Alois will get rid of all brownie-related materials in the manor if I don't receive my soul cakes!' Something like that. It'll be fine. [He seems very sure of this, and very pleased with the idea.]

[He can't help but snort at this guy's confidence.]

Just the fact that you had to put a back up says he probably won't be okay with it right off, but thanks. And I'll remember to put the cross on top or have him do it. Doing something half assed is a waste of time.

He likes to complain, that's all. Say, if you've read about Halloween, do you know about Samhain?

Briefly, a lot of the shit was mixed up with different stories. Which is why I got confused in the first place because nothing was consistant. Which is usually how shit goes on the internet anyway.

Never mind the internet, that's how it goes on with holidays at all, at least here. Christmas now is different from Christmas in my time, which is different from Christmas before it. Same for Easter, and so on. It's basically Christians seducing the pagans' wife, giving her a boob job, and then toting her around at the annual company tea. I suppose the upside of being nailed to a cross is your followers can shit on whomever they'd like.

They did all right with St Valentine's Day, though. Actually, I think they made that one up themselves, so it does pay to be original.

—Anyway, Samhain is all right, it comes from the Celts, who were great because they knew so much about fairies. Samhain was used to mark the end of summer and the beginning of winter, and essentially what happened is the Celts burned a lot of shit and made a lot of offerings to their gods as thanks for summer's harvest. Lots of feasting, lots of family members. Sounds very cozy.

[Amusement and confusion go hand in hand, he'll deal with those other holidays as they come up but the way the guy puts it gives him a fairly good idea.]

Sounds interesting. But the souling version is my favorite so far. And kind of the current one if only for those masked balls.

Souling is nice. I didn't get to do it much. It's too trivialized now! [TEMPORAL DISPLACEMENT RAGE] But you're right - the masked balls are really lovely, it makes me wish we had more than one Halloween a year. I guess that's what makes it a treat, though, isn't it...

Actually, what I want to do is a haunted house, I admit it. I mean, it sounds so... awful that I want to see one for myself.

Doesn't it not count as a haunted house if it's not really haunted? And aren't the purpose of those things to be scared by ghosts and shit?

You'd think people would get enough of that crap at nighttime here.

It's funner to be scared when it isn't real.

Don't bait him.

He started it when he got here. Fucker wouldn't fight me then though because of a retarded injury.

If you give him an excuse, he'll never leave you alone.

Sounds like you're speaking from experience here.

[You poor bastard.]

How the fuck would wanting to kick his ass for being annoying be giving him an excuse to become a stalker?

[Oh, yes.]

That's exactly what happened to me. I think there's something wrong with him.

[He has a mild look of disbelief here.]

Okay it was obvious he's retarded on some high level, but you've got to be fucking kidding me.

[It's not that he minds anyone insulting Naruto--but there's a brief flash of annoyance. Naruto is his kill, his rival to put down.

But the moment passes. Sasuke sighs.]

I'm not. He's been chasing me around for close to four years.

[That gives him a look, a bit of surprise but suddenly he gets the feeling they're on different levels here.]

Then there's more of a reason than you just giving him some random excuse or trying to kick his annoying ass because no one goes that long for stupid shit.

[But really, it's probably none of his business.

That's never stopped him before.]

What the fuck did you do to get him so dead set on your ass?

[Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose. It's a long story, and not terribly pleasant either.]

We were friends when we were kids. I left the village we were both born in and he's been coming after me since, trying to drag me back.

His side makes some sense then, he doesn't seem the type to understand if someone wants to be left the fuck alone.

Have you tried, I don't fucking know, talking to him about it anytime over the years? Just sitting him the fuck down and pounding into his thick head why you left and didn't want to go back?

He just grins like an idiot and tells me he'll break my arms and legs if he has to.

[He snorts at that, not at all surprised.]

Somehow that doesn't fucking surprise me. Sucks to be you, all you can do with assholes like that is knock them out and run. But you probably learned that a long time ago.

Don't think I should have to worry about that though. One fight shouldn't be enough to get him started.

[Good--he's not a total idiot, at least.

But he doesn't know Naruto like Sasuke does.]

A word of advice. Don't underestimate him.

The only person I ever underestimate is myself, I'd be dead a long fucking time ago otherwise.

That's good, but Naruto in particular is...

[How to put this.]

Surprising. In what he can do.

And he has a lot of raw, brute force.

Considering the first I saw of him was him arguing with himself, I'm pretty much prepared for anything. But thanks, I'll keep it in mind.

[Fucking shadow clones. Sasuke rolls his eyes.]

He does that a lot.

I have no fucking right to judge, I used to get in fights with my past and future selves all the time.

[That earns you a quirked eyebrow.]

How does that work?

The chat systems we used to use had a timeline fuction. Using an open memo, you could access it at any point in your timeline. Meaning assholes could see it from the past, future or current. Meaning it was one giant clusterfuck and a pain in the ass when trying to organize shit when people don't know the meaning of do not fucking respond to the memo until you're at the point in your timeline when it's put up.

I was an asshole and future me would always jump in the memo to tell past me what a fucking idiot I was being and how ashamed I was I wrote that shit in the first place. It never ended well and was pretty fucking embarrassing in hindsight.

[He pauses long enough to listen, and an extra beat to consider.]

That sounds unnecessarily complicated.

The children are usually chaperoned. [ Or at least they should be. ]

Usually. Meaning that it's a hit and miss thing like with any irresponsible parent who thinks it's a good idea for their kids to take candy from strangers.

Well, it's a risk they take and they and their children are the ones who'll have to live with the consequences.

Halloween is a joke of a holiday.

Starting to get the idea of that but there seems to be a couple old traditions from it that are kind of worth looking into.

Look up traditions for Samhain instead. Same day, better meaning.

Karkat, just enjoy the fact that you get to experience Human culture!

You think with spending two years with Dave and Rose, i thought you might of learnt something!

We were stuck on a fucking meteor, there really wasn't time for shit like holidays. Especially when there were only seven of us there in the first fucking place. And furthermore the most I learned was from human movies, I wouldn't take their word for it even if they had tried to explain because they're both sarcastic smartasses.

That's true, but its not like you couldn't sit down and discuss culture differences or something. What did you guys discuss on the meteor for the last two years?

But that's how they are, Karkat. If you learn to accept this, you can view both of them in a better perspective!

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003 ♋ VIDEO

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