003 ♋ VIDEO

[phazeandblood]

[Here's a first, Karkat's actually saying fuck text all together right off the bat and just going with video. His apartment isn't really anything to brag about behind him, just a bunch of scattered DVD's and a strange purple pod thing with green slime in it viewable behind the couch off to the side of the screen.]

I've heard about and done some research regarding this upcoming human holiday, and it seems like a bunch of conflicting stories and bullshit. Doesn't this entire thing defeat the purpose of people telling their kids not to take candy from strangers? Like "Hey dumbass don't take candy from someone you don't know in case they're trying to kill or rape you or something. Unless it's the last day of that month, then dress up in a pretty costume for the nice serial killer rapist and take whatever they give you."

Seriously, what the fuck humans?

[He shakes his head, because seriously. Seriously he does not understand you humans.]

That bullshit aside, I'm kind of looking forward to the parties that come with it, never celebrated any human holidays before but I've seen them in a lot of movies and they look interesting. So who can tell me more about those?

[He almost goes to turn off his NV, but seems to remember something.]

Oh yeah. Hey, Naruto, that's your name right? Come on asshole, the injury is healed and you owe me a fight.

Comments

[faking]

Our house will probably be making them! [And whatever tinge of disdain he might've had about religion or whatever is set aside instantly.] I'd bet Ciel will set some for sale, too, or at least I'll suggest it. —Oh, since he runs a sweets place.

[phazeandblood]

I've got shit I've got to save up for so I can't really waste money on sweets. Have the recipie for them?

[faking]

If you come to the shop when it has them, I'll make them give you a few no charge! I mean, they're soul cakes. You get them for souling. They shouldn't even be charged for anyway. [SPARKLE]

I don't have the recipe myself, I know my maid knows it... I could probably get it from her, but it'd be a shame for you to miss out, since I'm certain she's capable of being one of the topmost soul cake bakers.

[phazeandblood]

That's actually kind of awesome, just let me know whenever they get them up. And might want that recipe for myself anyways just to practice it. Or get a certain asshole to try and make it if I can't.

[faking]

Well, make sure that asshole puts the cross on top, or it's not a soul cake. Very important.

The shop is Funtom, by the way, and I'm sure Ciel's going to make an announcement when he starts the Halloween sales, since he likes business-related things, or talking about them, or something. You can just say, 'Alois said I can pick some up for myself!' I doubt he'll make a fuss, but if he does, say, 'Alois will get rid of all brownie-related materials in the manor if I don't receive my soul cakes!' Something like that. It'll be fine. [He seems very sure of this, and very pleased with the idea.]

[phazeandblood]

[He can't help but snort at this guy's confidence.]

Just the fact that you had to put a back up says he probably won't be okay with it right off, but thanks. And I'll remember to put the cross on top or have him do it. Doing something half assed is a waste of time.

[faking]

He likes to complain, that's all. Say, if you've read about Halloween, do you know about Samhain?

[phazeandblood]

Briefly, a lot of the shit was mixed up with different stories. Which is why I got confused in the first place because nothing was consistant. Which is usually how shit goes on the internet anyway.

[faking]

Never mind the internet, that's how it goes on with holidays at all, at least here. Christmas now is different from Christmas in my time, which is different from Christmas before it. Same for Easter, and so on. It's basically Christians seducing the pagans' wife, giving her a boob job, and then toting her around at the annual company tea. I suppose the upside of being nailed to a cross is your followers can shit on whomever they'd like.

They did all right with St Valentine's Day, though. Actually, I think they made that one up themselves, so it does pay to be original.

—Anyway, Samhain is all right, it comes from the Celts, who were great because they knew so much about fairies. Samhain was used to mark the end of summer and the beginning of winter, and essentially what happened is the Celts burned a lot of shit and made a lot of offerings to their gods as thanks for summer's harvest. Lots of feasting, lots of family members. Sounds very cozy.

[phazeandblood]

[Amusement and confusion go hand in hand, he'll deal with those other holidays as they come up but the way the guy puts it gives him a fairly good idea.]

Sounds interesting. But the souling version is my favorite so far. And kind of the current one if only for those masked balls.

[faking]

Souling is nice. I didn't get to do it much. It's too trivialized now! [TEMPORAL DISPLACEMENT RAGE] But you're right - the masked balls are really lovely, it makes me wish we had more than one Halloween a year. I guess that's what makes it a treat, though, isn't it...

Actually, what I want to do is a haunted house, I admit it. I mean, it sounds so... awful that I want to see one for myself.

[phazeandblood]

Doesn't it not count as a haunted house if it's not really haunted? And aren't the purpose of those things to be scared by ghosts and shit?

You'd think people would get enough of that crap at nighttime here.

[faking]

It's funner to be scared when it isn't real.