003 ♋ VIDEO

[phazeandblood]

[Here's a first, Karkat's actually saying fuck text all together right off the bat and just going with video. His apartment isn't really anything to brag about behind him, just a bunch of scattered DVD's and a strange purple pod thing with green slime in it viewable behind the couch off to the side of the screen.]

I've heard about and done some research regarding this upcoming human holiday, and it seems like a bunch of conflicting stories and bullshit. Doesn't this entire thing defeat the purpose of people telling their kids not to take candy from strangers? Like "Hey dumbass don't take candy from someone you don't know in case they're trying to kill or rape you or something. Unless it's the last day of that month, then dress up in a pretty costume for the nice serial killer rapist and take whatever they give you."

Seriously, what the fuck humans?

[He shakes his head, because seriously. Seriously he does not understand you humans.]

That bullshit aside, I'm kind of looking forward to the parties that come with it, never celebrated any human holidays before but I've seen them in a lot of movies and they look interesting. So who can tell me more about those?

[He almost goes to turn off his NV, but seems to remember something.]

Oh yeah. Hey, Naruto, that's your name right? Come on asshole, the injury is healed and you owe me a fight.

Comments

[bondsoflove]

[It's not that he minds anyone insulting Naruto--but there's a brief flash of annoyance. Naruto is his kill, his rival to put down.

But the moment passes. Sasuke sighs.]

I'm not. He's been chasing me around for close to four years.

[phazeandblood]

[That gives him a look, a bit of surprise but suddenly he gets the feeling they're on different levels here.]

Then there's more of a reason than you just giving him some random excuse or trying to kick his annoying ass because no one goes that long for stupid shit.

[But really, it's probably none of his business.

That's never stopped him before.]

What the fuck did you do to get him so dead set on your ass?

[bondsoflove]

[Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose. It's a long story, and not terribly pleasant either.]

We were friends when we were kids. I left the village we were both born in and he's been coming after me since, trying to drag me back.

[phazeandblood]

His side makes some sense then, he doesn't seem the type to understand if someone wants to be left the fuck alone.

Have you tried, I don't fucking know, talking to him about it anytime over the years? Just sitting him the fuck down and pounding into his thick head why you left and didn't want to go back?

[bondsoflove]

He just grins like an idiot and tells me he'll break my arms and legs if he has to.

[phazeandblood]

[He snorts at that, not at all surprised.]

Somehow that doesn't fucking surprise me. Sucks to be you, all you can do with assholes like that is knock them out and run. But you probably learned that a long time ago.

Don't think I should have to worry about that though. One fight shouldn't be enough to get him started.

[bondsoflove]

[Good--he's not a total idiot, at least.

But he doesn't know Naruto like Sasuke does.]

A word of advice. Don't underestimate him.

[phazeandblood]

The only person I ever underestimate is myself, I'd be dead a long fucking time ago otherwise.

[bondsoflove]

That's good, but Naruto in particular is...

[How to put this.]

Surprising. In what he can do.

And he has a lot of raw, brute force.

[phazeandblood]

Considering the first I saw of him was him arguing with himself, I'm pretty much prepared for anything. But thanks, I'll keep it in mind.

[bondsoflove]

[Fucking shadow clones. Sasuke rolls his eyes.]

He does that a lot.

[phazeandblood]

I have no fucking right to judge, I used to get in fights with my past and future selves all the time.

[bondsoflove]

[That earns you a quirked eyebrow.]

How does that work?

[phazeandblood]

The chat systems we used to use had a timeline fuction. Using an open memo, you could access it at any point in your timeline. Meaning assholes could see it from the past, future or current. Meaning it was one giant clusterfuck and a pain in the ass when trying to organize shit when people don't know the meaning of do not fucking respond to the memo until you're at the point in your timeline when it's put up.

I was an asshole and future me would always jump in the memo to tell past me what a fucking idiot I was being and how ashamed I was I wrote that shit in the first place. It never ended well and was pretty fucking embarrassing in hindsight.

[bondsoflove]

[He pauses long enough to listen, and an extra beat to consider.]

That sounds unnecessarily complicated.