sirenspull | 20 [Text]

As everyone is delicately tip-toeing around what a few select people have figured out, let me spell it out for you, for the individuals who lack the brain cells to rub together.

It's guilt. The feelings of guilt. Decisions that you regret. Things you've done that you wish you could have done differently. That is what is causing you all to be so sick, why certain people are targeted and certain people are supposedly immune.

If anything, you should stop feeling sorry for yourselves and start wondering why, exactly, some people are so healthy. Those are probably the people you should be watching warily -- because I doubt they're all saints.

In other news, Castiel is in a coma, which I'm sure is a grand surprise to all that know him and have connected piece A with piece B. Stop texting him and calling him. I'm going to feed the NV to my dog shortly if it keeps going off.

The first person to suggest that I take him to a hospital will have their throat cut.

Continue panicking at your leisure. I am going to return to my work.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[There's a pause - but to tell him that's none of his business would be to admit buying into the theory.]

Yes.

[Well, Crowley figures the only way to get him to admit to buy him into his own theory is to walk him through his ~~fevered completely bullshit paranoid~~ thought process.]

What sector do you live in? Are your roommates, if you have any, sick? Are they human? How old are they?

The individual with whom I live is also ill; I fail to see how the latter two questions are any business of yours.

You're the one that wants me to prove my theory or attempt to form some other kind of connection between the patients, so answer the stupid questions. My heterosexual life partner is currently indisposed and I'm bored.

And you think age is relevant? What, precisely - are you proposing that it strikes twenty-seven-year-olds different from someone who claims to be quite older? Or what?

I'm proposing that the guilty-as-sin people are dropping like flies whereas the people who don't have much to regret are healthy as Michael Phelps.

But as that is currently being rejected, I am going through all of the other possible connections first. Age, species, gender, race, power level, corporate affiliation, economic differences -- the possibility of this being germ warfare because SERO was bored --

I've already ruled them all out, but as I said, I'm bored, and you're arguing with me, so we may as well make a conversation out of it.

Right. And...stop me if you've thought of this one: strength of the immune system?

I'm a forty-two thousand year old demon that can't be killed save for an angel being pissed off. Far better than an immune system and I currently can't get off my couch.

Various people within the city that do have need of an immune system are ill, too.

Congratulations. You're going to need to do a bit better than idiotic rhetoric about angels and demons to sound remotely convincing.

Every living creature can be colonized by other living creatures. Sometimes they're immune to them because they possess the correct antibodies. Sometimes they've never been exposed to these diseases and so they lack the antibodies.

Darling.

I'm technically dead.

Sir.

I rather doubt that.

I am a demon residing in a dead body.

xoxoxo Crowley, the dead as a doornail demonic King of Hell.

You can see where I really don't give half a damn about my immune system.

Right. Your repeating that isn't going to make me believe you at all, any more than I believe any of the others who claim to be angels or demons.

You don't have a lot of friends, in your universe, do you.

You don't get a lot of respect, anywhere, do you.

I get plenty of respect, actually, but you wouldn't believe me as to why.

Why - because you're an ancient demon from hell, I suppose? I must say, all of that aside, if what you are is the only thing that gets you respect, then I rather doubt it is indeed respect.

I rule Hell, actually, and I am far kinder than the older ones. Call me progressive.

As young people say nowadays, "Wow."

I live to surprise.

So try again with something that's actually impressive.

Being a demon isn't all that impressive, actually.

I just happen to be the exception to the general rule.

Please, continue speaking about it. I find empty words inherently convincing.

Well, if you insist.

Did you know that the deepest ring of Hell is currently an exact replica of It's A Small World?

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