sirenspull | Text --> Video.

ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port

ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port

[The feed switches to video of a bedroom wall, and then quickly pans down to Davesprite's lap--where he's holding a live, half-grown, red-feathered rooster--which some people might recognize as one of the dyed Easter chicks he found--who quickly jumps ship in a squawking flurry of feathers. The feed ends.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

When you've got this much swag, everything is gold and nothing hurts.

But you're orange, not gold!

Second principle, take it and roll.

[scribblescribble]

If you're sure.

You can't be cool if every little thing throws you off the handle. From now on, you and the handle have to be as tight as a couple of stoners and a White Castle crave crate.

[Pause.]

Should I write it down if I don't know what you're talking about?

Didn't you just take down the second principle?

Well, yeah, but it's not going to do much if I don't know what you mean!

All I said was that you have to stop letting things trip you up. You're not always going to have time to stop and think things through or your goose is a deep-fried three-course dinner.

D-Don't say it like that!

Second principle, Ahiru. Come on.

[HEAVY SIGH but also scribbling this down.]

What next?

I don't know, that's probably enough for you to work on all at once. Think you can handle it?

I can handle that and a lot more, too!

[He actually grins a bit at that.]

All right. We don't do progress reports in the school of Strider, there's only field experience and practical exams.

What's on the practical exam, then?

Rooftop hashraps.

What's a hashrap?

Look, we haven't even gotten you past the first two principles yet. Don't count your seppucrows before they hatch.

What's a seppu—

[Pause.]

What's the next principle?

[Slight smile and a nod of approval.]

Sweet catch. The third principle's...

[He trails off, pauses, then looks up at the far wall. Downplaying feelings comes next, right? Because nothing's cooler than playing it cool.

He thinks about Bro for a second.]

...You watch you and yours, no matter what.

You mean, take care of your friends? Isn't that sort of an obvious principle?

You know, I hold basically all these truths as self-evident.

Edited 2012-05-12 17:23 (UTC)

...Then why are you telling them to me?

Because it's my job as the patron saint of swag to visit enlightenment on all you ridiculous kids.

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