[Text: Locked to the Homestuck Cast]

[crowsicle]

john rose get in here right now
if you do not present your asses here in this memo where i can see them i am going to seriously flip the fuck out
you will not have asses by the time i am done with you
your grandchildren will be born assless
i cant even
guys you better be here

jade disappeared and i cant find dave

john rose get in here right now
if you do not present your asses here in this memo where i can see them i am going to seriously flip the fuck out
you will not have asses by the time i am done with you
your grandchildren will be born assless
i cant even
guys you better be here

jade disappeared and i cant find dave

Comments

[crowsicle]

my messages wont go through
to either of them
ive got so much bounced text i could find hamlet written in it
tell me yours are working and its just me i will offer up the slaughtered corpse of my cool for that info

1/2

[scalemates]

[ ... bounced texts?

that scrap of info stops terezi in her tracks. an ear remains cocked for any noise of darkness creatures but most of her attention is taken by what davesprite is trying to tell her. her entire body turns icy underneath her redglare uniform as the weight of this sinks onto her shoulders.

n-no he can't be gone, they were gonna do a thing... ]

[scalemates]

1M 4 L1TTL3 BUSY 4T TH3 MOM3NT

[ that's right terezi, just push aside what you don't wanna know by ignoring it for a little bit. that won't backfire at all. ]

[crowsicle]

doing WHAT
jade and dave make like ghosts in the night and youre what chewing bubblegum and strutting it down monstercrotch avenue??

1/2

[scalemates]

WOW SO OV3RDR4M4T1C
YOU KNOW TH4T W4S 4LW4YS YOUR W34KN3SS D4V3 >:]
YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO
TO

[scalemates]

[ squelch! the sound of her blades biting into the hide of a smaller monster, splashing blood back onto her NV—dave's sunglasses. a thought occurs to her as she pulls the blade back... she never told him. never told him what happened after john went god tier. never told him how she betrayed him; killed him.

she never told him.

what the hell kind of friend is she?

her hand tightens on the neck of her dragon. ]

H3S USU4LLY OUT H3R3 TH1S T1M3 OF TH3 N1GHT...

[ denial's only gonna hold out for so long, girly. ]

[crowsicle]

[He doesn't know Terezi as well as Dave does, but that wobble in her poise didn't seem characteristic. In fact, she sounded downright upset. His spritely chivalry subroutines start to kick in through his panic.]

ok
ok yeah
maybe he just turned them off for some reason thats not
entirely unthinkable
maybe he had to take the biggest dump of his life and accidentally dropped your shades in the john before he flushed and now theyre swirling around the septic guts of canada like pinocchio in the whale
and also he locked himself in the bathroom
thats a thing that could be true i guess

[Oooor he could just make it worse.]

[scalemates]

[ on the upside, it did make terezi laugh, however weakly. ]

H3H3H3
1S TH3R3 3V3R 4 T1M3 WH3N YOU 4R3NT GROSS 4S H3LL

[crowsicle]

when im dead
i mean
shit

[scalemates]

COM3 ON D4V3S1CL3
YOU C4NT D13
TH4T 1S 4G41NST TH3 L4W
4ND 1 4M TH3 L4W
SO 1 WOULD KNOW

[crowsicle]

yeah i am literally the most law abiding citizen you could ever dream of
im abiding the shit out of this legislature i dont even walk my dog without a leash
when i pass by all the other choir boys have to quell their deadly sinful envy over my perfect angel bling
it just doesnt get shinier than this halo
cant touch my goody two shoes

[scalemates]

1 ONLY UND3RSTOOD H4LF OF WH4T YOU S41D
BUT TH4T 1S F1N3!
B3C4US3 4S LONG 4S 1 4M 1NVOLV3D YOU 4R3 GO1NG TO B3 TH3 MOST L3G4L TH1NG H3R3

[ now she's just babbling ]

UNL1K3 YOUR 4LPH4 S3LF
YOU 4R3 4 BR1GHT D3L1C1OUS OR4NG3 SO YOU W1LL B3 34SY TO SN1FF OUT
1F YOU 3V3R ST3P OUT OF L1N3
OR FLY OUT OF L1N3
SO 1 W1LL BR1NG TH3 M1GHTY H4MM3R OF JUST1C3 DOWN UPON YOUR H34D >:]
BUT NOT 1N 4 W4Y TH4T WOULD 3NSUR3 YOUR D34TH OH NO
B3C4US3 4S 1 S41D
YOU 4R3 NOT 4LLOW3D TO D13

[ tz that's not what you said before. ]

BY TH3 W4Y
WH3N D4V3 H4S STOPP3D B31NG M1ST3R H1D3 4ND MYS3LF M1SS3S S33K
1 4M R34LLY GO1NG TO DRUB H1M ON3
H3 1S NO LONG3R 4LLOW3D TO P4RT1C1P4T3 1N TH1S 4CT1V1TY NOT W34R1NG H1S V4N1LL4 4ND CH3RRY TSH1RT
H3 1S SO D1FF1CULT TO SM3LL OTH3RW1S3 >:[

[ ... ]

[crowsicle]

well after you concuss him with your justice mallet
lets fill the bathtub with red dye there should be a ton around its almost easter
easter is a human holiday btw its got something to do with cracking open eggs and innocent baby animals to honor a dead dude on a cross
anyway we dunk him in the tub and dye him red
or whatever color you want but i know thats what turns you on
and then he can be just as bright and zesty to your nose as i am
like hell just be this walking las vegas neon stop light wafting the scarlet aroma of his skin to your twitching nostrils

[scalemates]

PUTT1NG 4S1D3 MY LOV3 FOR D34D B4BY 4N1M4LS
1 H4V3 TO S4Y TH4T YOUR SP3C13S 1S 4 LOT MOR3 V1OL3NT TH4N 1 H4D OR1G1N4LLY THOUGHT
TH4TS 4 GOOD TH1NG HOW3V3R
1T M4K3S M3 F33L MOR3 4T HOM3

YOUR PL4N H4D M3R1T TO 1T, D4V3L1C1OUSN3SS!
P3RH4PS 4FT3R W3 DY3 H1M W3 C4N T13 H1M UP 4ND L3T H1M H4NG N34R TH3 MOOS3H34D FOR 4 F3W D4YS >:]

[crowsicle]

damn girl
youre into some kinky shit
just make sure to leave a sock on the door or something ok
im jazzed you feel more at home here but dont make yourself THAT comfortable

[....]

rose left and came back a couple times
right

1/2

[scalemates]

H4H4H4H4!
YOUV3 GOT TH3 WRONG 1D34
BUT DONT WORRY
1T W4S HUMOROUS 4NYW4Y

[scalemates]

HMM Y3S 1 B3L13V3 SH3 D1D
4ND 1 COULD NOT H3LP BUT NOT1C3 SH3 W4S B4CK NOW
HOW RUD3 OF H3R R34LLY
NOT S4Y1NG H3LLO TO M3
BUT W1TH H3R B31NG TH3 SNOOTY G1RL SHE 1S
1 WOULD 3XP3CT NOTH1NG L3SS
3V3RY T1M3 SH3 BRUSH3S M3 OFF 1 F1ND MY H4TR3D FOR H3R GROW1NG 3V3R STRONG3R
D3ST1NY 1S 4 POW3RFUL TH1NG D4V3SPR1T3
4ND TH3 MOST POW3RFUL OF 4LL
1S TH3 WR1TT3N D3ST1NY B3TW33N H4T3FR13NDS L1K3 SH3 4ND 1 4R3 M34NT TO B3

[ that's right tz. facetiously hit on rose via davesprite to hide the fact that you're starting to worry that you might never seen your best friend again. keep it up, you might even convince yourself some day. ]

[crowsicle]

uh
what
tell me youre not hitting on my ghost slime sister
thats really not a thing that needs to be happening right now
or fucking ever
oh my god you two together would be the worst haughty broads ever im not letting you twenty feet near her

[scalemates]

OH R34LLY?
WH4T M4K3S YOU SO SUR3 YOU C4N CONTROL M3?

[crowsicle]

been testing stink bombs up on the roof

[scalemates]

4ND YOU TH1NK TH4T BOTH3RS M3?

[crowsicle]

well if i make the whole apartment smell like puke and licorice
whos to say i cant change shit up in the confusion

1/2

[scalemates]

PL34S3 TH3 ONLY P3RSON TH4T WOULD BOTH3R 1S D4V3 >:]

[scalemates]

....

[ ...suddenly it's a little hard to breathe. ]

M4YB3
W3 COULD
JOK3 4BOUT TH1S L4T3R

[crowsicle]

yeah
im going to go look for them