[Text: Locked to the Homestuck Cast]

[crowsicle]

john rose get in here right now
if you do not present your asses here in this memo where i can see them i am going to seriously flip the fuck out
you will not have asses by the time i am done with you
your grandchildren will be born assless
i cant even
guys you better be here

jade disappeared and i cant find dave

john rose get in here right now
if you do not present your asses here in this memo where i can see them i am going to seriously flip the fuck out
you will not have asses by the time i am done with you
your grandchildren will be born assless
i cant even
guys you better be here

jade disappeared and i cant find dave

Comments

[scalemates]

[ EXACTLY THAT'S WHY TEREZI IS SO STUNNED. not even alpha dave has done this. ]

1...
WOULDNT KNOW
1 H4V3 N3V3R TR13D TH1S B3FOR3
G4MZ33 4ND T4VROS D1D 1T 4 LOT 4ND 1T 4LW4YS S33M3D PR3TTY DUMB WH3N TH3Y D1D

[crowsicle]

[He's also aware that she made Dave what he needed to be in order to do what he needed to do. Which is more than he ever did for him.]

the rap trolls right
jesus they were awful
anyway youre with me that means youve already got a five mile jump on those guys
seriously the comparison doesnt even bear consideration theyre going to eat your dust and beg for more
i am going to show you the world tz so you better hold on to your carpet

[scalemates]

[ oh my god she's lived with the striders for too long if the first thing she thinks is: ]

4LW4YS W1TH TH3 N4UGHTY 3UPH3M1SMS....

[ instead of being completely confused or rolling with the metaphor. ]

[crowsicle]

not sure that was a euphemism i was being pretty literal there
not everybody can handle close encounters with my unalloyed musical genius
ive seen many an innocent pair of panties ruined forever
lesser creatures have fallen

[scalemates]

OH MY GOD D4V3 PL34S3
1 4M ONLY S1X
1F YOU CONT1NU3 ON TH1S SUBJ3CT 1 4M L14BL3 TO HOLD YOU 1N CONT3MPT OF COURTBLOCK

[crowsicle]

oh damn
gonna haul me in officer
i thought you were supposed to be keeping me on the straight and narrow

[scalemates]

TH4T 1S TH3 PO1NT OF BR1NG1NG YOU 1N >:]
W3 4R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 4 S3R1OUS T4LK D4V3S1CL3
V3RY S3R1OUS

[crowsicle]

how much trouble am i in
am i going to have to call bro to pick me up from the principals office with a handwritten letter of apology and a fire extinguisher

[scalemates]

1F TH4T 1S TH3 HUM4N EQU1V4L3NT OF HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU 4R3 1N
TH3N Y3S!
4LL OF TH4T W1LL N33D TO H4PP3N B3FOR3 1 CUT YOU FR33 OF MY NOOS3 OF PUN1SHM3NT

[crowsicle]

do we even have a fire extinguisher

[scalemates]

WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S 4 F1R3 3XT1NGU1SH3R

[crowsicle]

its a red thing that humans use to put out any delirious conflagrations