[Text: Locked to the Homestuck Cast]

[crowsicle]

john rose get in here right now
if you do not present your asses here in this memo where i can see them i am going to seriously flip the fuck out
you will not have asses by the time i am done with you
your grandchildren will be born assless
i cant even
guys you better be here

jade disappeared and i cant find dave

john rose get in here right now
if you do not present your asses here in this memo where i can see them i am going to seriously flip the fuck out
you will not have asses by the time i am done with you
your grandchildren will be born assless
i cant even
guys you better be here

jade disappeared and i cant find dave

Comments

[crowsicle]

[He hesitates before answering. The thought of flying out into the night to look for his friends--alone--again--when they could be hurt or dead or just fucking gone...

But Terezi played a different role that time. He can't see her right now. Not yet.]

ok
keep your super sniffer out of the gutters till then or were gonna have to have words

[scalemates]

WH4T K1ND OF WORDS

[crowsicle]

i dunno how sick are your fires

1/2

[scalemates]

[ ... wait shit she knows this she's lived with the striders long enough to get this!! ]

[scalemates]

TH3Y 4R3 SO UNH34LTHY 1TS 4BSOLUT3LY 4BSURD
TH3Y 4R3 LY1NG ON YOUR HUM4N B3D G4SP1NG TH13R L4ST
4S TH13R 3Y3S SW3LL SHUT 4ND TH13R F1NG3RS F4LL OFF

[ yeah she has no idea what she just said. but if it means keeping up appearances for a few minutes longer, then so be it. ]

[crowsicle]

sounds absolutely incurable
ill have to check my schedule see how many sick days i get off for this shit
because those are exactly the kind of words were going to have
better grab your hazmat suit this place is just ripe for the illnasty epidemic

[scalemates]

OK4Y SOUNDS GOOD

[ ... ]

SO TH3S3 4R3 GOOD WORDS R1GHT
1 TH1NK 1 GOT LOST 1N 4LL TH3 1RON13S 4ND DOUBL3T4LK

[ which is ironic in and of itself because terezi is a master at doubletalk. ]

[crowsicle]

let me put it this way for you
if i dont have to add one more person to the list of incredible douchebags i need to lock in a box with airholes for their own continuing safety
then we can have a slam on the roof
and ill even let you go first hows that for generosity

[Because it's been a couple weeks now, and the thought of her disappearing, too, is enough to merit at least this as a peace offering.]

[scalemates]

4R3 YOU 1NS1NU4T1NG TH4T B3C4US3 1 4M BL1ND 1 WOULD N33D 4 H34D ST4RT?
N33D 1 R3M1ND YOU TH4T 1 4M 4LW4YS GO1NG TO B3 H1GH3R ON MY 3SCH3L4DD3R TH4N YOU?

[crowsicle]

no such thing as an echeladder for sprites or for hashraps
itd be bad sportsmanship if i didnt give you a handicap seeing as im basically pro major league at hashraps
and i am all about the sports

[scalemates]

.........................
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D4V3
4R3 YOU
CH4LL3NG1NG M3 TO 4 R4POFF

[crowsicle]

[Is there any greater indication of the possibility of his respect? DON'T THINK SO.]

if youre not ready for the verbal domination id lay down you can just say

[scalemates]

[ EXACTLY THAT'S WHY TEREZI IS SO STUNNED. not even alpha dave has done this. ]

1...
WOULDNT KNOW
1 H4V3 N3V3R TR13D TH1S B3FOR3
G4MZ33 4ND T4VROS D1D 1T 4 LOT 4ND 1T 4LW4YS S33M3D PR3TTY DUMB WH3N TH3Y D1D

[crowsicle]

[He's also aware that she made Dave what he needed to be in order to do what he needed to do. Which is more than he ever did for him.]

the rap trolls right
jesus they were awful
anyway youre with me that means youve already got a five mile jump on those guys
seriously the comparison doesnt even bear consideration theyre going to eat your dust and beg for more
i am going to show you the world tz so you better hold on to your carpet

[scalemates]

[ oh my god she's lived with the striders for too long if the first thing she thinks is: ]

4LW4YS W1TH TH3 N4UGHTY 3UPH3M1SMS....

[ instead of being completely confused or rolling with the metaphor. ]

[crowsicle]

not sure that was a euphemism i was being pretty literal there
not everybody can handle close encounters with my unalloyed musical genius
ive seen many an innocent pair of panties ruined forever
lesser creatures have fallen

[scalemates]

OH MY GOD D4V3 PL34S3
1 4M ONLY S1X
1F YOU CONT1NU3 ON TH1S SUBJ3CT 1 4M L14BL3 TO HOLD YOU 1N CONT3MPT OF COURTBLOCK

[crowsicle]

oh damn
gonna haul me in officer
i thought you were supposed to be keeping me on the straight and narrow

[scalemates]

TH4T 1S TH3 PO1NT OF BR1NG1NG YOU 1N >:]
W3 4R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 4 S3R1OUS T4LK D4V3S1CL3
V3RY S3R1OUS

[crowsicle]

how much trouble am i in
am i going to have to call bro to pick me up from the principals office with a handwritten letter of apology and a fire extinguisher

[scalemates]

1F TH4T 1S TH3 HUM4N EQU1V4L3NT OF HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU 4R3 1N
TH3N Y3S!
4LL OF TH4T W1LL N33D TO H4PP3N B3FOR3 1 CUT YOU FR33 OF MY NOOS3 OF PUN1SHM3NT

[crowsicle]

do we even have a fire extinguisher

[scalemates]

WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S 4 F1R3 3XT1NGU1SH3R

[crowsicle]

its a red thing that humans use to put out any delirious conflagrations