sirenspull | six ;; voice

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six ;; voice

[No video this time. Voice only. He wasn't even going to bother with that. This was originally text, but he feels confident enough right now to speak. Video is just out of the question though. There's no chance of that right now]

I just have one question, you know, something I've been sorta wondering about. [He's trying to keep his voice steady and his tone light, but he can't seem to really bring much life to it] Go ahead and ignore me if this is too personal or whatever, but how do you deal with death? [He pauses] I mean, there's been that stuff on the news about vampire attacks and people dying and everything. So it just got me thinking, I guess. [That's not how he started thinking about it at all] I mean, I, uh, I never really lost anyone close to me before, at least not anyone I remember.

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[She pauses.]

I heard the people who die here just go back home, if that helps at all.

Well, it kinda does but she didn't deserve to die. She was kind of annoying and stuff, she talked way too much and said the wrong things a lot and it was kinda hard to listen to her sometimes but she didn't deserve to die like that.

Nobody deserves to die. Finn... What happened to her?

She, uh, all Kurt told me was that she was out last night and, and I guess something out in the Darkness killed her.

Why would she go out?

I don't know. Work maybe? I told her not to go out alone though.

[Pause] Or maybe she was just being stubborn or something. She's like that, you know. The other night-- I saw her the other night and I think she thought I was implying that she couldn't take care of herself out in the Darkness because I asked her not to go out at night.

You know it isn't your fault at all, right?

[He hesitates for a moment as he actually considers lying to her. But what's the point?] ...no. [Of course he blames himself]

But you didn't do anything wrong!

But I could've been there. I could've kept her from going out of something.

You couldn't have known she was going to!

But before I went home, I was with her almost every night but ever since I got back, I've been too wrapped up in my own problems, I guess. Normally, I would've been there.

There's nothing wrong with taking time to yourself!

Except that the one time I did, she got killed and now I just... I don't know what to do.

[Eventually, he'll feel terrible for pouring his heart out to Ahiru and apologize to her. But it is currently not 'eventually']

I think it's natural, not knowing what to do. But what you shouldn't do is blame yourself, okay?

It's just really hard not to because there's so many things I can think of that could've just made the whole thing go differently and maybe Rachel wouldn't be dead right now.

But thinking of that and regretting it won't help anything!

I don't know, I guess it's the only thing I can really bring myself to do.

Is there anything you could do to distract yourself?

Maybe. It's hard though, you know? Everything I do makes me think of Rachel.

I think that gets better with time.

I just kinda wish it didn't take so much time. [It's only been a day, but, well...]

Yeah, it can be really hard. Just try your best, okay?

Thanks, Ahiru. I'm sorry too, though.

You're sorry? Why?

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