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Video...in which there is an abundance of scones

[Dawn is barely even trying to tickle the sky awake, but that doesn't seem to be squashing the enthusiasm of that annoying kid who either delivers or abuses pastries for a living -it's difficult to tell at times. There he is, with the usual shit eating customer service grin, hair rustling in the chilly breeze and full of fat, half-melted snowflakes. They don't seem to be bothering him at all.]

Attention, everyone. I'm Hanamura Yosuke. Hello to anyone who is new. There's good news this morning! Due to the weather, the scones from yesterday couldn't be sold at the Funtom bakery. I've had to come up with ways to use them, so I thought I would share.

[It's probably not a good idea to leave a somewhat resentful teenager to his own devices in a place of business. Or so one would believe, given what follows.]

If you grind them up like cat litter, they unstick snow-stuck cars. They can also be used as paper weights, and nut crackers. Some of the children on the playground have used them for stick ball! Really, the uses are endless. So please take them away before someone tries to eat one and breaks a tooth again.

[That slightly sarcastic and generally mean spirited bit of "advertisement" aside, the kid suddenly grows serious.]

Ah...there is one more use for them that I came up with. Since I didn't have anyone to ask for a blessing, I think the direct route will have to do.

[And there, behind him in the snow as he turns and pans the camera out, is one last (and equally unfirtunate) demonstration. There's something written out, huge and painstakingly, all in blueberry scone. There's even a heart made of sprinkled dried cranberry around it, which has bloomed up like rose petals with the moisture of the snow:]

MARRY ME NILL

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, I don't have wings. That was feather me. I went home for about a year there. [No big deal to him. He just wondered if he'd missed something weird about his appearance. Still going to get that hair-cut.]

I don't understand that at all.

[At least he's honest? But he shrugs. He owes you one, for looking out for Nill. And clearly you're her friend.]

I guess you can't stand on the bride's side, but we'll find a spot for you. It's the least I can do.

[The more they talk, the more he hears Karkat from two years ago. Jesus, how many guys have this mentality??] You know you have to wait for her reply before you plan anything, right? Otherwise, might just scare her off if she was thinking to say, 'yeah sure'.

What's that supposed to mean? Of course she'll say yes. We're in love.

[Yeah, there's a distinct possibility he's not too experienced at this. Or life in general. What's the harm in throwing yourself into the fray with your eyes closed, dude?]

[You sound like the trolls. If he were anyone else, he'd just put his hand over his face.] How many times have you dated, dude.

...Whats that got to do with anything?

[Yep, that's a distinctly flustered response. Technically, he hasn't. You know. Ever. But it didn't seem like a problem until everyone started pointing it out.]

It has everything to do with it.

What do you know? You're obviously not married yet either.

NO, THIS IS WHERE I CUT IN BECAUSE WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I KNEW HUMANS WERE STUPID BUT THIS TAKES THE CAKE, YOU CAN'T JUST *DO THAT* TO A GIRL.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PULL SHIT LIKE THAT?
THERE'S A THING CALLED MODERATION AND ACTUALLY KNOWING WHEN TO PUSH AND WHEN TO SIT THE FUCK DOWN, THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE CHOICES AND *TALK SHIT OVER* BEFORE YOU GO AND MAKE SOME DUMBASS MISTAKE.
IF YOU'RE NOT DATING HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW SHE WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER?
IT'S CALLED STEPS FUCKASS, YOU TAKE THEM ONE AT A TIME UNTIL YOU'RE BOTH COMFORTABLE WITH HOW YOUR RELATIONSHIP PANS OUT DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING?
I'M NOT EVEN HUMAN AND I KNOW YOU DON'T FUCKING PROPOSE TO SOMEONE WITHOUT DATING THEM FIRST!
YOU'RE GOING TO PUSH HER TOO FAR AND SHE'S GOING TO GET OVERWHELMED AND THE MORE YOU TRY AND SMOTHER HER THE MORE YOU'RE FUCKING YOURSELF OVER.
DID YOU EVEN *THINK* TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES OF DOING THIS IN PUBLIC?
BECAUSE NOW SHE MIGHT FEEL OBLIGATED NOT TO LET YOU DOWN, OR FEEL BAD FOR YOU AND YOUR SORRY ASS FOR HOW STUPID YOU ARE AND JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
IF YOU LOVE NILL WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EMBARRASS HER LIKE THIS AND NOT EVEN *TALK IT OVER WITH HER FIRST*?
THIS IS NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK BECAUSE YOU KNOW BEFORE YOU ASK SOMEONE TO MAKE THAT SORT OF COMMITMENT TO YOU *YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP* NUMBNUTS!
SERIOUSLY HOW FUCKING INCONSIDERATE CAN YOU BE?