~001 Comedy Mask~ [Video]

[fluffybeard]

Ah- yes. Hello. This... is Garret Hawke here. The Champion of Kirkwall. I appear to be in a place that's... not where I went to sleep. So either I've been drinking in the Hanged man again, or I've been kidnapped by some form of wily demon.

[He sighed and gave that beard a scratch.]

The thing is, I'm a big fan of knowing where I am, and there's a lot of things here that really make me question what I had to drink last night. These buildings don't look like anything in Kirkwall. Or Fereldan. Maybe these are tevinter buildings? No. Fenris probably would have commented on how they were built by slaves or something.

[He shook his head and sighed.]

Well. If anyone could give me information I'd pay them in... [He checked for his purse.] A charming smile and perhaps even a flirty wink.

Comments

[bloodyantivan]

[Zevran senses Hawke pulling back from the situation. Maybe he's not as easygoing as he puts on, or Anders is a sore spot. Still, when Zevran sees a point of contention, his instinct is to push his luck.]

Certainly! And perhaps we can even get Fenris in on the game. I knew I'd like this place.

[fluffybeard]

That's all very well in theoretical practise, Two incredibly hot humans followed by even hotter elves, but I'd like to see you convince those two to share the same bed with eachother, let alone four of us. Anders might go for it, But Fenris would sooner start a mage rights alliance.

[He chuckled, getting back into his stride. Sorry Zev, if you want those feels out on the table? Ply him with liqueur.]

Though... if you some how come up with a plot to make it happen, I will call myself a willing accomplice. Until Fenris finds out. Then you're on your own.

[He grins at Zevran.]

[bloodyantivan]

They have managed to live together without killing each other... thus far.

And as much as I enjoy all of your company and the distinct lack of darkspawn or Antivan Crows trying to kill me, I do believe we ought to spend our time trying to find a way off this island rather than your suggestion. [Never mind that it had actually been Zevran's suggestion.] Once you've settled in, sharpened you sword, and so on.

I will be by in a few minutes. [Or maybe he's bi all the time...]

[fluffybeard]

It wasn't my suggestion serrah.

[He chuckled.]

I will join any attempt to escape, though it's not really my forte to come up with those sort of plans. Especially if you're dealing with time.

[He raised his eyebrow and chuckled to himself.]

Sharpened my sword? Now I can't remember if that has a double meaning or whether it's just a practical suggestion. If it's the second, my sword is always sharp.

[bloodyantivan]

Your sword sounds positively enchanting.

[Zevran raises an eyebrow. He's never understood warrior sorts, he thinks.]

Or perhaps it's enchanted.

I will be up to meet you in person in a few moments. Oh, and by the way - I am a Crow. Or a soon-to-be former Crow of the non-dead variety, which is rare enough indeed.

So you can be assured that our time apart is spent with me sharpening my blades... just in case! You never know what you will find in this fair city.

[fluffybeard]

It is very enchanting. But it's enchanted to knock people backwards. It's amusing really.

[He nods.]

Well. I'm living under a roof with an Antivan Crow, soon to be former of the non dead variety. I'll mark this in my diary as "Things I would never have considered to be a good thing."

[bloodyantivan]

I get the feeling we'll have a lot of fun. [He ends the transmission with a wink... and turns up in around 15 minutes. He's dressed in high boots with a long, loose shirt, and very tight jeans. Even though he can move silently and without being noticed, he always pointedly makes a bit deal of his arrival by calling out - mostly to assuage the jumpy elves and mages he lives with.] I'm home~!

[fluffybeard]

And I didn't think to have dinner on the stove. Shame on me.

[He chuckles. Zevran is... even handsomer when he's not talking out of an enchanted book.]

Well, I knew you were handsome but you look even more so acclimatised in their odd fashions. Brava Messere.

[bloodyantivan]

Please, call me Zev. All my friends do.

...Things are going to get cramped in here. Will you be alright on the couch? Fenris's room is a bit of a mess...

[fluffybeard]

Very well Zev.

[He chuckled and scratched the back of his head.]

Well Fenris has insisted I take his room. I intend to stay until an alternate arrangement has been made, I have to add that or guilt will cripple me in a matter of minutes.

[bloodyantivan]

Well, once you bring some money in perhaps we can find a new place, or if you'd like your own you can take either the mage with too many cats or the cranky elf with you - and we can alternate on weekends who has both of them at once. [He smirks.]

First things first - have you seen all the plumbing in this place? It's quite advanced, but we cannot use it after darkness sirens.

[fluffybeard]

Ah yes. Shared custody is always the way forward when it comes to crazy cat men and cranky elves. And we're obviously the smartest and most charming.

[He chuckles-- Plumbing? You mean they don't just have a privy?]

Complex plumbing? Well. Now this I would like to see.

[bloodyantivan]

Prepare to be amazed. [Zevran leads him to the bathroom to turn on the faucet. Ta-dah! He stands back, arms folded, to watch the reaction.] No pumping!

[fluffybeard]

... Well, this place has coloured me impressed.

[He blinks at it and wets his fingers.]

And it's safe to drink?

[bloodyantivan]

During the day, it is perfectly safe to drink. There is a bill that we pay in order to have the water pumped in - it is also heated. [He turns on the hot bit of the faucet.] You will be expected to contribute once you have a job, or I will take your fees out of your body.

[It's an idle threat. Mostly. Being the only person who's ever been paid for a job or handled money or rent before, Zevran is sort of the de facto head of the household. You're all his bitches.

After allowing Hawke to see how the water feels hot, Zevran shows him the bath tub and shower.] I rather like this... vertical bath. It's much faster, and it provides for some enticing possibilities.

[fluffybeard]

When you say "Take the fees out of my body" Does that mean carve them out, or take them in a much more pleasurable extraction that would entice me not to contribute?

[He looks at the shower and grins. He would like to be your bitch in there sometime.]

Oh I see the possibility of that. Though the bath has it's own seductive merits. ... When it's big enough to fit more than one person.

[He smiled at Zevran. He was glad that their fellow housemate was as kind as Anders and Fenris. ... Perhaps kinder than Fenris.]

I shall search for a job as soon as possible. I can't take being cooped up for long. It gets boring very quickly.

[bloodyantivan]

There is a club, Purgatory, that offered me some work for simple guard work. A lot of places need muscles or security. You might also consider joining the police force - that's the city guard. Or, if you fancy it, there's always bounty work... though I am beginning to think I might dislike having much more competition in my household! Fenris and I have resolved to work together when it suits us, but the more people you cut into a deal, the less you get paid, after all.

If you cannot find employment, I expect that however I take payment to involve pulling on that lovely beard of your. [Zevran gently pats Hawke's cheek, snickering before turning away.]

Even for strong fighters such as ourselves, it is best for us to remain cooped up after the evening sirens. It is something you must make peace with. Also, we are not able to use our plumbing, since the water is... disgusting, corrupt, dangerous, after hours.

But enough of the dull bits. Feast your eyes this! [He opens the toilet and then flushes it.] This privy!

[fluffybeard]

... The city guard would be a boring job. I don't know how Aveline handles it. I shall look for something that suits me. I'm not particularly interested in going into competition with an Antivan Crow. I fear I may be incredibly outmatched.

[He grins at Zevran as he pats his cheek. He would take it further... but unfortunately he has a rather attractive mage for a ball and chain.]

Oh I like the sound of that. The tugging of my beard not the dangerous water supply.

[HE watches the water swirl down, blinking.]

... That is amazing. How ingenious of the people here.

[bloodyantivan]

It certainly does wonders for the smell. As well as the stuff being taken to somewhere called a sewage place instead of pumped directly into the sea. There is far less cholera as a result, so I've observed.

I'll leave Fenris to giving you the tour of his room [Zevran gives a pointedly suggestive grin], and I'll show the kitchen. [He saunters over to the kitchen, hoisting himself onto the counter.]

The big white box is an ice box that is always cold. Without a mage's ice spell!

... I have no idea how I missed this tag DX

[fluffybeard]

... A box... that is always cold without magic. I think I'm going to like this place.

[He grinned putting his hand in and feeling the cold air.]

And it works if you shut the door?

[He says doing so, leaving it a few moments before opening it again.]

Extraordinary. Are there any other wonders of technology here, you'll be telling me there are carts without horses or carts that can fly.

[bloodyantivan]

Do not stand with it open. We pay a bill for the electricity that flows through the wires, it uses that stuff each time you stand with it open and the food gets warmer.

[Zevran chuckles.]

You did not see those horseless carriages on the street as you came here? Perhaps you're joking with me.

[fluffybeard]

Those... big metal things were carriages?

[He blinks.]

That makes sense now you mention it but I thought they were some odd artefact! How... Do you get used to this?

[bloodyantivan]

They are like carriages, the Dalish aravels, but they are run by machines rather than any magic or animal.

[Zevran has taken out one of his many little knives and is polishing it with a bit o foiled cloth. Where they might've come from in his modern clothes is a bit of a mystery.]

The same way you get used to any change. Accept there are things you know, and do not know. Endeavor to learn better, and to always remain on your guard. I have seen many strange things, traveling the Fade and the Deep Roads. What's a few more?

[fluffybeard]

You've been to the Fade too? I was expecting something... slightly more grandiose than what was there really. But it was enough to meddle with my thoughts.

[He shook his head.]

I didn't appreciate being turned into a woman though. It happened twice.

[bloodyantivan]

I'd appreciate being turned into a woman. Though I suppose it would be distracting.

[As for what he saw in the fade, Zevran isn' sharing.]

Speaking of which, that is anther thing to be wary of. The magic which brought us here is known as the Core. Sometimes it malfunctions. It may send people home, bring people in, or cause other strange things to happen to people here. Including giving ordinary people like you and I strange, magelike powers.