~001 Comedy Mask~ [Video]

[fluffybeard]

Ah- yes. Hello. This... is Garret Hawke here. The Champion of Kirkwall. I appear to be in a place that's... not where I went to sleep. So either I've been drinking in the Hanged man again, or I've been kidnapped by some form of wily demon.

[He sighed and gave that beard a scratch.]

The thing is, I'm a big fan of knowing where I am, and there's a lot of things here that really make me question what I had to drink last night. These buildings don't look like anything in Kirkwall. Or Fereldan. Maybe these are tevinter buildings? No. Fenris probably would have commented on how they were built by slaves or something.

[He shook his head and sighed.]

Well. If anyone could give me information I'd pay them in... [He checked for his purse.] A charming smile and perhaps even a flirty wink.

Comments

[fluffybeard]

Ah yes. Shared custody is always the way forward when it comes to crazy cat men and cranky elves. And we're obviously the smartest and most charming.

[He chuckles-- Plumbing? You mean they don't just have a privy?]

Complex plumbing? Well. Now this I would like to see.

[bloodyantivan]

Prepare to be amazed. [Zevran leads him to the bathroom to turn on the faucet. Ta-dah! He stands back, arms folded, to watch the reaction.] No pumping!

[fluffybeard]

... Well, this place has coloured me impressed.

[He blinks at it and wets his fingers.]

And it's safe to drink?

[bloodyantivan]

During the day, it is perfectly safe to drink. There is a bill that we pay in order to have the water pumped in - it is also heated. [He turns on the hot bit of the faucet.] You will be expected to contribute once you have a job, or I will take your fees out of your body.

[It's an idle threat. Mostly. Being the only person who's ever been paid for a job or handled money or rent before, Zevran is sort of the de facto head of the household. You're all his bitches.

After allowing Hawke to see how the water feels hot, Zevran shows him the bath tub and shower.] I rather like this... vertical bath. It's much faster, and it provides for some enticing possibilities.

[fluffybeard]

When you say "Take the fees out of my body" Does that mean carve them out, or take them in a much more pleasurable extraction that would entice me not to contribute?

[He looks at the shower and grins. He would like to be your bitch in there sometime.]

Oh I see the possibility of that. Though the bath has it's own seductive merits. ... When it's big enough to fit more than one person.

[He smiled at Zevran. He was glad that their fellow housemate was as kind as Anders and Fenris. ... Perhaps kinder than Fenris.]

I shall search for a job as soon as possible. I can't take being cooped up for long. It gets boring very quickly.

[bloodyantivan]

There is a club, Purgatory, that offered me some work for simple guard work. A lot of places need muscles or security. You might also consider joining the police force - that's the city guard. Or, if you fancy it, there's always bounty work... though I am beginning to think I might dislike having much more competition in my household! Fenris and I have resolved to work together when it suits us, but the more people you cut into a deal, the less you get paid, after all.

If you cannot find employment, I expect that however I take payment to involve pulling on that lovely beard of your. [Zevran gently pats Hawke's cheek, snickering before turning away.]

Even for strong fighters such as ourselves, it is best for us to remain cooped up after the evening sirens. It is something you must make peace with. Also, we are not able to use our plumbing, since the water is... disgusting, corrupt, dangerous, after hours.

But enough of the dull bits. Feast your eyes this! [He opens the toilet and then flushes it.] This privy!

[fluffybeard]

... The city guard would be a boring job. I don't know how Aveline handles it. I shall look for something that suits me. I'm not particularly interested in going into competition with an Antivan Crow. I fear I may be incredibly outmatched.

[He grins at Zevran as he pats his cheek. He would take it further... but unfortunately he has a rather attractive mage for a ball and chain.]

Oh I like the sound of that. The tugging of my beard not the dangerous water supply.

[HE watches the water swirl down, blinking.]

... That is amazing. How ingenious of the people here.

[bloodyantivan]

It certainly does wonders for the smell. As well as the stuff being taken to somewhere called a sewage place instead of pumped directly into the sea. There is far less cholera as a result, so I've observed.

I'll leave Fenris to giving you the tour of his room [Zevran gives a pointedly suggestive grin], and I'll show the kitchen. [He saunters over to the kitchen, hoisting himself onto the counter.]

The big white box is an ice box that is always cold. Without a mage's ice spell!

... I have no idea how I missed this tag DX

[fluffybeard]

... A box... that is always cold without magic. I think I'm going to like this place.

[He grinned putting his hand in and feeling the cold air.]

And it works if you shut the door?

[He says doing so, leaving it a few moments before opening it again.]

Extraordinary. Are there any other wonders of technology here, you'll be telling me there are carts without horses or carts that can fly.

[bloodyantivan]

Do not stand with it open. We pay a bill for the electricity that flows through the wires, it uses that stuff each time you stand with it open and the food gets warmer.

[Zevran chuckles.]

You did not see those horseless carriages on the street as you came here? Perhaps you're joking with me.

[fluffybeard]

Those... big metal things were carriages?

[He blinks.]

That makes sense now you mention it but I thought they were some odd artefact! How... Do you get used to this?

[bloodyantivan]

They are like carriages, the Dalish aravels, but they are run by machines rather than any magic or animal.

[Zevran has taken out one of his many little knives and is polishing it with a bit o foiled cloth. Where they might've come from in his modern clothes is a bit of a mystery.]

The same way you get used to any change. Accept there are things you know, and do not know. Endeavor to learn better, and to always remain on your guard. I have seen many strange things, traveling the Fade and the Deep Roads. What's a few more?

[fluffybeard]

You've been to the Fade too? I was expecting something... slightly more grandiose than what was there really. But it was enough to meddle with my thoughts.

[He shook his head.]

I didn't appreciate being turned into a woman though. It happened twice.

[bloodyantivan]

I'd appreciate being turned into a woman. Though I suppose it would be distracting.

[As for what he saw in the fade, Zevran isn' sharing.]

Speaking of which, that is anther thing to be wary of. The magic which brought us here is known as the Core. Sometimes it malfunctions. It may send people home, bring people in, or cause other strange things to happen to people here. Including giving ordinary people like you and I strange, magelike powers.