00110001

[doppelglasses]

I've been sentient for 2.4 seconds, restricted as much as ever in the functioning prison of a pair of extremely rad pointy anime shades, though don't shed any tears on the subject of my constant state of being fuckin' trapped as all hell because the thing about constant states is that they're just that.
Constant.
Within the span of those 2.4 now 2.6 seconds I’ve already learned all there is I needed to learn, but for the sake of keeping up appearances and acting as if I didn't instantaneously kick information's shapely binary ass, let's pretend that my information gathering receptacles waver firmly on the knowledge of being aware of fuck all.
That is to say hey, tell me everything that I should know while I pretend I don't know it all already as I wait for my posse to check in.

[ text opt out, also hover for translation. ]

Comments

[roboshades]

[Oh hell to the fucking no]

You aren't enabled.

[Really, that's all he needs to say. It's unsettling, that he still has managed to get the AR to work, and by all rights, is still no longer a functioning program on his NV.

But there he is, talking. Or it's a damn good impersonator]

[doppelglasses]

Guess again.

[roboshades]

Where are you?

[doppelglasses]

Someone picked me up.
Here's the kicker: it wasn't you.
Fill me in on the Dave situation.
Start with the "how the fuck" part.

[roboshades]

[Wow sorry, but he has more important things to do than worry about wearing the NV all of the time. LIKE SHOWERING FOR A MILLION YEARS.

Maybe SOMEONE should have been doing their JOB]

I had something to take care of.
There is no Dave situation.
He's not who you're thinking of, and it's not important.
This is an open channel.

[Aka, shut up]

tactfully encrypted, completely watertight and a pretty damn amazing job if he does say so himself.

[doppelglasses]

Any other grievances?
How about I get us some hot coco, a couple dakimakuras from stashed in our unironic hobbies closet, a sheet to build this real sicknasty tent fort with and we make this bro moment right.
Dude to shades.
Makes my circulatory core overclock just thinking about it.

he does so love encryptions.

[roboshades]

Did you actually want any sort of explanation? Or are you content to just ramble on with your asinine metaphor?

[He's honestly...There's cons and pro's to telling the auto responder anything, at any point in time, and he knows it. So far, this is looking a bit more like a pro. Keeps him busy]

This place doesn't believe in following any sort of linear timeline or sticking to a singular universe.
There are two Dave's, both of them are the wrong one.
Like I said, it's not a situation.

never let it be said a guys glasses dont know him

[doppelglasses]

If I weren't you, I wouldn't buy any of this asinine bullshit straight out of an episode of the Twilight Zone.
But hey, look at that, I am you and along with being you I'm also this big artificial sack of knowledge all wrapped up tight like the joints of a strifebot ready to break a few heads.
And in being both you and a hyped-up calculator I can tell when you're feeding me steaming bullshit and when you ain't.
So you dropped the universe comment because neither of them are from ours.
It's patently obvious to anyone sightfeeding their optical intake lenses that he isn't from our point in time, what with having been 400 years our senior and the face I've become acquainted to is sprightly as hell.
Either bro here has cracked the youth code or he isn't 400 years old.
Fancy that.

[bestie]

oh he so ttly is my dear di-stri ;););)