Text --> Video.

[crowsicle]

ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port


ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port

[The feed switches to video of a bedroom wall, and then quickly pans down to Davesprite's lap--where he's holding a live, half-grown, red-feathered rooster--which some people might recognize as one of the dyed Easter chicks he found--who quickly jumps ship in a squawking flurry of feathers. The feed ends.]

Comments

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[crowsicle]

oh what and the three hundred ads rolling in are totally propro
christ agi there are little kids here
and innocent girls from nineteen fourteen
this kind of gross public indecency should be punishable by law
maybe me and dick here will form a posse of freaky technicolored feathery dudes to bring them in
bird cawssidy and the sundance cock

text

[reassures]

You didn't actually name him that, did you?

text

[crowsicle]

what
dick
look four letter d names are kind of a family tradition and like fuck was i gonna name him dane
i couldnt wish that on any living creature

text

[reassures]

Is dick really any better than dane?

text

[crowsicle]

yeah infinitely
if a baby crashed in on a meteor right now you bet i wouldnt hesitate for a second before christening him dick
dick strider
prince of peen

text

[reassures]

...I guess-- Dick Strider wouldn't be a bad name.

[ngl though man that was probably the weirdest metaphor she has ever heard. She has no idea.]

text

[crowsicle]

everythings better with the strider seal
anyway sup
thanks for last time it was pretty helpful

text

[reassures]

Oh-- you're welcome! I wasn't sure if I helped very much that time, so I'm glad I did.

Are you doing okay here?

[crowsicle]

yeah im good
my bro picked me up and most of my friends are here
my wings almost grown all the way back in too which is kind of awesome

[reassures]

That's great to hear, but-- is your wing okay?

Unless you mean your feathers?

[crowsicle]

oh
uh
no the whole thing kind of got ripped off but its fine now
apparently ive got some sick regeneration skills like you would not even believe

[reassures]

[....Holy shit what

God just thinking about that hurts gkjdhakjh g-give her a second there]

That's-- [...Nope, she's still a little lost on what to say to that one.] I mean-- I'm glad it's growing back.

[crowsicle]

yeah dont worry about it
in a week or two itll be like nothing ever happened
i just looked slightly less cool for a while than i normally make myself out to be
no biggie

[reassures]

It doesn't-- still hurt, does it? Should you go to a doctor?

I mean-- I think things like wings are a little normal here! So going to a doctor should be safe...

Text --> Video.

[crowsicle]

nah its been like two months it doesnt hurt anymore
bro patched it up for me
it was hella itchy when it started growing back but its ok now
here

[He switches his video feed back on and folds his wing around in front so she can see. The last few inches of feathers at the edge are sort of stunted and barb-like still, with some of the fluffy afterfeather grown in, but not the smooth, even vane he needs for perfect flight.]

See? Totally fine.

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[reassures]

[It takes her a moment to respond, just because she's sort of in awe at seeing his wing, injured or not. It's just...]

They're so big.

[Big enough to fly.]

It really does look like it's healing-- I'm glad.

text

[crowsicle]

[He turns the video off again because his texting is really just speech transcription and closed-captioning his life is weird.]

yeah
everythings bigger in texas
kind of ruined doors for me though
i mean i miss the days when i didnt have to flip turnways to get anywhere

text

[reassures]

Some of the automatic doors must be easier, though-- right?

If I don't fold mine in sometimes they catch the doorways too.

text

[crowsicle]

hahahaha
we should form a union
birds against shitty doors
making sirens port a safer place one pinion at a time

text

[reassures]

[gkjhdakjh he can't tell but she's giggling so much.]

It would be a really small union!

Worth it, though. Those doorways really should be wider.

Re: text

[crowsicle]

look we already got me you dick and duke
thats my bros chicken by the way
so thats four
and im sure we could rope some other people into it
wasnt that underwear model chick who was in the races running for mayor or something
i mean thatd be a pretty powerful person to get on our side we could actually see some social change around here

[reassures]

You really do like four letter D names, don't you?

I'm not sure we make up a big enough group to get a mayor-hopeful on our side though, even with four of us.

[crowsicle]

we could let the angels into our sweet exclusive club too i guess
i think i saw some magical flying ponies too
though maybe the doors arent so much of a problem for them as you know not having thumbs
we could add that to our agenda im a generous guy

[reassures]

I don't know how much we can do for them if they don't have thumbs!

I've heard the angels here don't actually have wings, though-- are you sure they count?

[crowsicle]

i saw a video of this thing they have in japan where like
you kick a button with your foot and the door opens for you
tell me that wouldnt be literally the coolest thing ever
i bet even the angels would spring for installing something like that i mean theres no arguing with that kind of awesome technology
theyre angels theyve gotta be all over good deeds like that