sirenspull | Text --> Video.

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ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port

ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port

[The feed switches to video of a bedroom wall, and then quickly pans down to Davesprite's lap--where he's holding a live, half-grown, red-feathered rooster--which some people might recognize as one of the dyed Easter chicks he found--who quickly jumps ship in a squawking flurry of feathers. The feed ends.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Wanda shows up on camera, arms crossed, clearly unamused.]

Is this how you behave when unsupervised?

[Why do teenage boys think things like this are funny? Oh, right. They're teenage boys. Sigh.]

Nah, I am all hells of supervised. A guy can't make art films this high-fidelity without a dedicated team effort between his cast, his crew, and his cock.

Mmmhmm. [Not supervised enough it would seem.]

Does that rooster belong to you? I hope abusing it for the camera is not a regular occurrence.

He's actually kind of an accidental heirloom from my blind troll alien chick roommate. And if he continues to be so goddamn photogenic, I might just incorporate him into all my art films from now on.

Do you really make art films or is that another 'joke'? From the way you write, I expected you to be a frustrated poet. [She might be teasing. Then again, maybe not.]

A poet? Christ, no, don't try to flatter me. That's Rose's thing. I just do cool shit like comics and swords.

Didn't realize it was flattery.

I thought you made "art films"? Are they animated cartoons then? [Now she's imagining something cute and Disney-esque. Perhaps there's still a sweet kid hiding under the bragging, terrible puns and innuendo? Pfffff.]

Yeah, I'm Walt Disney. Here, hold on to your perm a sec.

[Be warned: the link he is about to send Wanda is full of JPEG artifacts, horrible misspellings, unnecessary flashing colors, and the incomprehensible "humor" of a thirteen-year-old boy with too much time on his hands.]

sbahj the moevi

Hold on to my whaaa...? [Wanda is confused by his phrasing but politely clicks on the link anyway, already thinking of some basic compliments she can say to encourage the boy's creativity.

And then his 'movie' assaults her eyes, ears, and mind. She stares at it, mouth literally agape. As it continues, she actually feels the need to lean away from her NV, distancing herself physically from the flashing horror.

It takes a few moments before she is ready to speak. Even given time to process it all, words still fail her.]

Uh, that was... very creative. You have a rather... um... unique way of--

[She suddenly leans forward, face scrunched up with concern.]

Are you doing okay?

[Oh shit, her face.]

Hahahaha, it's okay, not everybody's equipped to handle a master of irony at work.

Okay.

[She doesn't care for being laughed at, but he's right about her not being prepared to handle his work.]

Since it obviously went over my head--[Understatement!]--can you explain to me what that was all about?

I dunno, I wouldn't want to give away the whole comic. There's real deep meaning underneath all those tight-knit layers of cultural allusion and shit.

["Tight-knit layers of cultural allusion."]

Right. Sure. Okay.

[Sound more like: "I got nothing. But it made sense when I was in the zone. You know, after I got high off of spinning in my chair and eating too much sugary cereal. This is what happens to unsupervised children. Beware." Or, worse yet, perhaps he came from a world where something that disjointed actually seems normal. Yikes.]

Was this your first attempt?

[No, even in his child-torturing bro-murdering meteor apocalypse'd world, SBaHJ remains a completely unintelligible aberration that no one pretends to understand. Though it makes for some nice in-jokes.]

Yeah, flipped it all right off the cuff. Genius waits for no man.

Maybe not. But I'll bet Genius wouldn't mind if you took a few moments to collect your thoughts.

[And Good Taste would appreciate if he'd stop, just stop.]

[He rests his chin in his palm.]

Y'know, you're kind of rude for some strange broad I just met on the internet.

[Says the kid posting cock jokes to a public network.]

[Wanda looks stricken at being called rude. She prides herself on her niceness. This feeling of chagrin lasts for a millisecond, right until a possibly crazy thirteen-year-old boy refers to her as a "strange broad." A small hex sphere slips out causing the feed to crackle before she can rope it in.]

Was I rude? I'm sorry [She doesn't sound it.] But you know, they say you can't rush greatness.

[He notes the hex sphere but doesn't seem too bothered by it. Orange bird ghost over here.]

Yeah, but if I got any better than this I wouldn't be able to open my door without getting myself buried beak high in starstruck fans.

[She laughs at his comment. It's the idea of anyone being a starstruck fan of his work that amuses her, but let him think what he will.]

Right, your beak. About that. You've got quite the unique look going on there. It's rather impressive.

[And it is. Thankfully she can say something nice about this subject without stretching the truth to point of lying.]

Is that common where you come from?

[Please pardon him while he deliberately misinterprets her question. He didn't grow up with any female authorities to learn to respect, sorry.]

Nah. Me and my bro totally patented the shades and swag look down in Houston. Anybody wants to look this sweet, they gotta run it by our lawyers to work out fair use and royalties.

[And because Wanda is Wanda, she's going to be confused and oblivious to the possibility that she's being jerked around.]

What? No. I didn't mean your 'look.' I was referring to your whole... [She makes a swirling gesture that encompassing his whole body before mimicking his wing as well.]

Wait. What's a 'swag look'? [Not so hip with the slang.]

Swag? You're looking at it.

[He folds his arms over his chest and leans back, resettling his wings.]

No feathers finer than these.

Yes, they are nice wings. [Sure, why not?]

You patented your look, which includes the wings? How is that even possible? [Confused. And starting to suspect he's playing with her. Skeptical Wanda is skeptical.]

[Really? Really, lady?]

Being this hot opens all kinds of doors. I mean they gotta air out the room when this smoking bod walks in or everyone gets damn near to a collective case of the vapors.

[Okay, now she's done keeping an open mind. Take what he says with a grain of salt. More like a mountain of it. She crosses her arms, giving him a look.]

Are you always full of it or is this a special treat just for me?

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