Video ☆

[deathknellgrell]

[ It's always a shocker when your metabolism slows, particularly when you're a Death God. Grell has been rail-thin his entire existence; but an unfortunate combination of a sedentary lifestyle (he had previously been reaping souls for a living) and a massive bout of Gluttony has left him with…

Well. You know how skinny guys, when they gain weight, stay skinny everywhere except… ]

The man of my dreams proposes, and I look like THIS~! I can't walk down the aisle looking like a pregnant bride!

Ah cruel, cruel fate!

[ His strategy, thus far, has been to stop eating entirely, subsisting on a diet of coffee and breath mints. Unsurprisingly, this has had little effect on his physique. Thus in a fit of pique, desperation, and caffeine-induced bad judgement, he is appealing to the Network: ]

How d'you lose weight in a hurry? I'll try anything!

[ And yes, this is how Grell is announcing his engagement! ]

Comments

[integrity]

Absolutely.

[Oh, good, because Crowley is the best demon because he says so.]

It keeps your figure.

[deathknellgrell]

Are there even any virgins left in Siren's Port?

[ He considers... ]

I suppose I could start with Keigo.

[integrity]

I happen to know a virgin you could borrow.

[deathknellgrell]

Do tell~!

[integrity]

His name is Castiel.

I can have him gift-wrapped.

[deathknellgrell]

--Castiel?

[ Grell pulls a face; as if he'd bitten into an apple and found half a worm. ]

Sounds like an angel's name.

[integrity]

Oh, he is an angel, but he's a pretty one.

[deathknellgrell]

They're all pretty.

And SMUG.

[integrity]

Oh, mine is prettier.

[With a slight wave of his fingers.]

Eyes like the sea, tall, dark, handsome -- you couldn't ask for anything more in a nice piece of furniture. He even fetches.

Couldn't ask for anything more, really.

1/4

[deathknellgrell]

I don't care how pretty he is, he's a bloody--

[deathknellgrell]

D-did you say tall? Handsome? Because I--

[deathknellgrell]

[ An involuntary twitch, as he he shakes his head clear. ]

No. I'm not interested, I'm engaged to be married, anyway, I've no business gazing into...

DONE

[deathknellgrell]

...eyes like the sea, did you say?

omg i can't

[integrity]

Like the Baltic.

[Almost in a purr. Hook, line, and sinker.]

Would you like to meet him? I can arrange you on a date.

1/2

[deathknellgrell]

Really? I'd be ever so--

2/2

[deathknellgrell]

N-no! No!

[ Self-control is a new and foreign concept for Grell. But he's trying. ]

I'm engaged!

[integrity]

[lol this is making his day.]

Engaged, right -- to whom? If I can be curious.

[deathknellgrell]

Why, to a man with eyes like dark, icy tunnels - of DEATH.

So cruel, so cold... he sets my heart on ~fire~!

[ Grell looks like he's about to have a moment. ]

1/2

[integrity]

[What in the actual fuck is he on about.]

[integrity]

[ -- whatever.]

The angel I know has tortured baby vampires.

You can take your cruelty to the bank.

[deathknellgrell]

Mmmm, William doesn't torture people. Torture suggests a surfeit of enjoyment, and he'd never stoop to that.

Detached, emotionless, and discreet: that's what a Grim Reaper is supposed to be.

[integrity]

Detached, perfect husband material.

[deathknellgrell]

Are you...

Are you being sarcastic?

ARE YOU INSULTING MY WILLIAM?

[integrity]

No, simply offering a comment.

Calm down, no insult provided.