006; Video; Warning: this post may cause motion sickness.

[jokerofcrime]

 [ATTENTIONS, CITIZENS. AND NEWCOMERS. AND WHOEVER ELSE MAY BE WATCHING.

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR NV'S.

Despite the fact that the world is spinning around pretty rapidly. I mean, that's kinda weird, right, but no, it's okay. Things are perfectly fine. That's just a roulette wheel.

Why is an NV on a roulette well? Well... It's attached to a cat who is currently on a roulette wheel and that is a very long story. If you listen closely, you can hear him yelling and throwing a hissy fit. He is just not happy right now. And all that jarring movement makes it hard to see what's going on.

And then it stops, but since the NV is on Meowth's wrists and he's currently dizzily trying to get his bearings.]

What's th' big idea, wise guy?

You're cheatin', that's what. [Some voice offscreen. Meowth begins flailing his arms, which means YAY SEIZURE VISION.]

WHO YOU CALLIN' A CHEAT? [There's silent and the NV is thankfully covered up, because Meowth just crossed his arms. No more nausea vision, but you can still hear.] But if youse guys just hand me my winnin's, I won't tell nobody what a buncha lousy poker players you are.

[Except he just told the entire network.

Oops.

A half second later, there's more screaming, blurred images, and a sudden thud. And then darkness. But not silence.]

AND STAY OUT, YOU MANGY CAT.

[....Yeah, Meowth's just gotten thrown out on his face. He clambers to his feet and shouts.] YEAH?! Well, you're a establishment's a joke, you lamebrains! 

[Annnd that sound is someone getting smacked in the face with a large bag of singles.

And then the feed times out.]

Comments

[private] [voice]

[12second_orz]

[WAIT HE KNOWS THAT VOICE, IT'S UNMISTAKABLE. Didn't he get a message from this person them just a little while ago?]

You're a cat?!

[private] [voice]

[jokerofcrime]

[UM.

NO?]

Heh... Wouldja believe they meant cat in th' metaphorical sense?

[private] [voice]

[12second_orz]

[FORTUNATELY FOR YOU HE COMES FROM A WORLD OF RIDICULOUS METAPHORS. He raps his fingers impatiently on his desk, entertaining the suggestion for a moment.]

A metaphorical "mangy" cat? Are you saying that you have fleas, Caboodle-san? [so sarcastic right now oh my god]

[private] [voice]

[jokerofcrime]

Don't look at me! I ain't the one sayin' it. They're just jealous that a scruffy kid from the streets is a better poker player than they are. [Yeah. That... Totally makes sense.]

[private] [voice]

[12second_orz]

[a little darkly] Perhaps I should "look at you". That might clear a few things up, don't you think?

Video

[vinovidivici]

[ TONIGHT ONLY a New York boroughs faceoff! Brooklyn v. Manhattan, for the title of worst accent! ]

Next time I'd cheat on someone your own size. Y'know. [ Cat-sized hand gesture. He means small. ]

Video

[jokerofcrime]

[DING.]

Is it so wrong t' be ambitious? [AND DO YOU REALIZE THERE IS NOTHING WORTH HIS TIME HIS SIZE?? THERE AREN'T EVEN POKEMON. And the cats speak weird gibberish at him.]

Video

[vinovidivici]

It ain’t wrong. I’m just surprised you didn't leave that joint as a nice fur stole.

Video

[jokerofcrime]

I'd like to see 'em just try 'n skin me. I'd show 'em why it ain't never a good idea to pick on the little guy.

[video]

[themonarch]

Don't they usually have a 'no pets' sign on those places anyway?

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

Don't remind me. Ain't nobody in this town got any respect for someone like me. [Grump] I only got in, 'cause they said somethin' about th' internet. I ain't sure what that is, but it was awfully excitin' for 'em 'til I started winnin'.

[Cat plays poker: A MILLION HITS ON YOUTUBE. Cat beats everyone at poker: SHIT SON. WE'RE SCREWED.]

[video]

[themonarch]

Yeah that's usually how casinos work. Everything's fine until you're not actually falling into debt. Kinda like with creditors.

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

Yeah. Them's the breaks. [He rubs his face against his money.] Too bad I ain't back home. We'd be outta debt in no time, but at least I got all this cash to myself.

[...Are you shocked he knows what a creditor is?

You should be.]

[video]

[hairdecs]

Are you okay, Mr. Meowth?!

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

[He is presently counting his winnings, so yeah, I'd say he's fine.] Well, my pride might be sore, but I can just buy me a new one.

[video]

[hairdecs]

Oooh! You won money? Are you going to buy something for Kyubey?

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

[DRAMATIC SIGH.] I don't think Kyubey's a dame what can be bought. She ain't batted an eye at nothin' I've given her.

[athermercy]

Meowth? Are you okay there?

[jokerofcrime]

So long as they gave me what they owe me. [Yes, there is presently a cat counting money on your screen, Elaine. He looks a little roughed up, but otherwise pleased. Money, money, money. Must be funny...]

[athermercy]

It must have been your lucky day.

[jokerofcrime]

Must be! And I don't get many o' those.

[Video]

[inkyubeytor]

You don't appear to be having very much fun.

[Video]

[jokerofcrime]

Kyubey! [HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN HE LOVES HIS MONEY.] You were right! I did start winnin' after I tried what you taught me. Look at all this! [He points his NV at his bag of money.] Bein' tossed out when I was on a winnin' streak's a drag, but I got plenty o' cash to show for it.

[In singles. But Meowth does not care.]

[Video]

[inkyubeytor]

You've been applying your knowledge. Good for you!

[Video]

[jokerofcrime]

Yeah, and it actually worked, too. You never realize how good winnin' feels 'til you got a lucky break.