006; Video; Warning: this post may cause motion sickness.

[jokerofcrime]

 [ATTENTIONS, CITIZENS. AND NEWCOMERS. AND WHOEVER ELSE MAY BE WATCHING.

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR NV'S.

Despite the fact that the world is spinning around pretty rapidly. I mean, that's kinda weird, right, but no, it's okay. Things are perfectly fine. That's just a roulette wheel.

Why is an NV on a roulette well? Well... It's attached to a cat who is currently on a roulette wheel and that is a very long story. If you listen closely, you can hear him yelling and throwing a hissy fit. He is just not happy right now. And all that jarring movement makes it hard to see what's going on.

And then it stops, but since the NV is on Meowth's wrists and he's currently dizzily trying to get his bearings.]

What's th' big idea, wise guy?

You're cheatin', that's what. [Some voice offscreen. Meowth begins flailing his arms, which means YAY SEIZURE VISION.]

WHO YOU CALLIN' A CHEAT? [There's silent and the NV is thankfully covered up, because Meowth just crossed his arms. No more nausea vision, but you can still hear.] But if youse guys just hand me my winnin's, I won't tell nobody what a buncha lousy poker players you are.

[Except he just told the entire network.

Oops.

A half second later, there's more screaming, blurred images, and a sudden thud. And then darkness. But not silence.]

AND STAY OUT, YOU MANGY CAT.

[....Yeah, Meowth's just gotten thrown out on his face. He clambers to his feet and shouts.] YEAH?! Well, you're a establishment's a joke, you lamebrains! 

[Annnd that sound is someone getting smacked in the face with a large bag of singles.

And then the feed times out.]

Comments

[video]

[themonarch]

Don't they usually have a 'no pets' sign on those places anyway?

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

Don't remind me. Ain't nobody in this town got any respect for someone like me. [Grump] I only got in, 'cause they said somethin' about th' internet. I ain't sure what that is, but it was awfully excitin' for 'em 'til I started winnin'.

[Cat plays poker: A MILLION HITS ON YOUTUBE. Cat beats everyone at poker: SHIT SON. WE'RE SCREWED.]

[video]

[themonarch]

Yeah that's usually how casinos work. Everything's fine until you're not actually falling into debt. Kinda like with creditors.

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

Yeah. Them's the breaks. [He rubs his face against his money.] Too bad I ain't back home. We'd be outta debt in no time, but at least I got all this cash to myself.

[...Are you shocked he knows what a creditor is?

You should be.]

[video]

[themonarch]

...What sort of place are you from again? Is it all Saturday Morning Cartoons or what? Do all your animals talk?

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

It's exactly like that, right down t' the bad guys never catchin' a break. [Shrugs and just casually breaks his own fourth wall, like he do.] Not unless they're psychic and that's cheatin', if you ask me.

[video]

[themonarch]

Oh god, don't even get me started. I can't stand those types. It's all "Ooooh, but I knew that was going to happen because I have douchey brain powers~" Why the hell are all the magic types such complete tools?

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

[...But they're not tools... They're...

You know what. Meowth's just gonna pretend he totally understood that and move on.] 'Cause they don't gotta put as much work into things as us ingenuity-types and they think that makes 'em better.

[video]

[themonarch]

Even when they get their asses kicked just as easily.

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

Doubly so, 'cause they ain't never had to fight fair afore. [/sage nod

He... sure is an expert on fighting fair.]

[video]

[themonarch]

What, and you have?

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

[Nodnod.] Not a day in my life. [WAIT...] Eh?! waitaminute- what's that supposed t' mean? You think I don't look trustworthy or somethin'?

[video]

[themonarch]

Oh come on, you talk like your speech therapist was Al Capone.

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

[/dial up noise

connecting... connecting...

ERROR: Connection not found.] I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS.

[video]

[themonarch]

Whatever, the point is you're totally a criminal. I can sense these things.

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

[HOW

DOES

HE

KNOW. WELL. No sense hiding it. Clearly this guy recognizes talent.] Oh yeah? Well, what if I am? You gonna do somethin' about it, bub?

[video]

[themonarch]

[FUCKIN' VILLAIN MAGIC.]

Oh yeah, because I'm totally a villainous vigilante. That's totally a thing.

[video]

[jokerofcrime]

It could be. I've met plenty o' bad guys that ain't keen on sharin' turf with other gangs. [He crosses his arms over his furry little chest.] But I'm willin' t' consider a full partnership.

[themonarch]

Partnership? Oh like hell. The Monarch doesn't do "partners", okay. I do henchmen.

[jokerofcrime]

[...Yeah, well.

Yeah.]

Hypothetically speakin', if a henchmen's got his own gang, does that make him more of an executive?

[themonarch]

Like a sub-group of henchmen? ...I guess that could make him like, the Number One or something. Head of Internal Affairs kind of crap...

[jokerofcrime]

Hah! Then I'm your cat. I got my own gang leftover from when my old boss was still here. Entrusted me with his whole operation and if you need a way t' get started, I got connections.

[themonarch]

Connections. Yeah, yeah, sure. I'd love to hear about them.

[jokerofcrime]

That can be arranged, heh.

[themonarch]

...What, like for real?