sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, I can't repeat the things he say. He trusted me and I don't want to embarrass him.

[She has a~~n all-~~knowing smile as she says that.]

They were nice things. Don't worry.

[He rubs his forehead and groans.] See, that was what I was worried about. Good things.

If you know who I am, which I think you probably do if you've talked to Adam, I don't do good things.

[Like stopping the Apocalypse and helping people, totally didn't do that, nope, what are you talking about.]

Because you are a demon? That's a matter of perspective, is it not? I mean, take for instance my Creation -- War's over. Everyone has to make friends with each others. Or at least make the effort.

[It's okay, man. She ripped up that page and said NOPE.jpg, this ain't my Plan.]

Well...[He sighs.] I honestly don't believe in the whole "good vs. evil" thing. They're just names for sides, in the end. But either way, it's my job to make people's lives worse. Take that as bad or good all you want, but the general consensus is that I'm the last thing from a saint.

Your Creation? What do you- wait a second, you're like another Adam, aren't you?

Stupid sides, in my honest opinion.

He's my sort-of cousin. But I'm not an Anti-Christ; I got more into the Creator business.

That's not what Upstairs or Downstairs think.

[A long pause.]

...Creator? Don't tell me you're like a girl version of Him.

Yahweh? No. He is my grandfather. But all his blood relatives had the potential to become Creators like him.

Grandfather...

So, you're like his grandkid who's learning the profession? I have to say, I've never encountered anyone like that before. It's bizarre.

I've graduated -- Taking care of everything His and mine.

[A pause. Crowley still is trying to wrap his head around this.]

So, you're like the Junior version of Him.

Annnd...you're stuck here just like everyone else? If you're like Him in a sense, why can't you just leave?

No, I'm Elaine. I've got my ways and they aren't like Yahweh's.

[She's the same thing, but she's not who he is.]

Sort of. I'm here and not really here -- I'm still home too -- There are people from my Creation here, so I'm looking after them.

[She shakes her head.]

If I did that, everyone else would be doomed. Look when you enter to a foreign Creation you didn't make, you can't leave without a passage from the Maker. It's like leaving someone's else house. If you don't have a copy of the key, you can break a window to exit, but people inside will be exposed to whatever enters from that broke glass.

Alright, alright, obviously you're the expert on all Him-related matters, I get it.

[He shakes his head, wishing he hadn't gotten into this sort of thing because now his brain slightly hurts as he tries to sort this out.]

So, Elaine, huh? So, what can you do here? If this is a "foreign Creation", as you say, can you still influence things in it?

The Yahweh I know at least. There could be others. It's a common name for Creators. Sort of like Bob or Jane are for people.

[Creators are people too, Crowley.]

If this was a stable Creation, there wouldn't be a problem. Imagine what will happen if you dropped a heavy bowling ball on thin ice? The thin ice is this place. There are things I would pass to do.

001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

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