sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He makes a face, because first, whoah, it's Gabriel, not happy to see you around even though he was expecting it and second, GABRIEL THOSE ARE THE WORST NICKNAMES GET OUT.]

AJ sounds like the name of a bratty teenager with acne and the other is the name of a bird. Insert coin, try again.

Besides, can't you call me Crowley like any normal person would?

No, because the other one was here first and pronouncing it wrong doesn't make it enough of a distinction. You drew the short straw, bucko. [TROLOLOLO]

I was pronouncing it right. That's how the good old English say it, I'm not going to hardly change the pronunciation because people don't know how to say it right.

[A dismissive sort of hand wave.]

Just call me Anthony, for crying out loud. [His tone is sort of cold- just because you're all informal and such doesn't change the fact that you're an archangel, man.] That's what your brother will be calling me, maybe it's best to follow the trend.

Which brother? 'Cause if it's Lucifer, I'm disinclined to agree with anything he does. Family feud- pettiness comes with the territory. Also, I just like messing with people- it's a gift.

No, it's not Lucifer, you prat. It's the other one that is depicted as usually dancing on his head. I suppose you like him more, considering he isn't Fallen and all.

[He lets out a short laugh.]

Messing with people? Sounds a lot like what I do. Is that a phrase that secretly means "doing nice things and such to brighten people's days", or do you honestly mess with people for your own entertainment?

Because if it's the latter, I have to say, that's not very angelic of you.

Not very angelic of me? [Gabriel bursts out laughing.] You must be new.

[A slight huff.]

Thank you, Captain Obvious. I made that point pretty clear when I addressed the populace before.

But really, last time I remember, you were gallivanting around Upstairs smiting things you didn't like or whatever you angels do. What changed?

Daddy skipped town and the whole regime changed. Neighborhood stopped looking so perky after that.

...

Wait, He what?

[THIS IS NEWS.]

How does the Man Upstairs just walk out on what he does? Isn't that technically impossible?

Uhhh.

...No? He's God, AJ. Pretty sure he can do whatever the hell he wants.

Yes, but wouldn't things just fall apart at the seams? Or, let me guess, they already did.

Because, I mean, it's kind of like Atlas walking off to take a break from holding up the world, you don't just do that.

Apocalypse kinda nowish is happening, but that's an angel dysfunction brought on by finding out the answer to the eternal question of 'where is your God now,' and not so much the actual godlessness.

So, basically... Yeah, He can. Because He's God. He's allowed to be as much of a dick as he wants.

001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

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