sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He was kind of in the public eye recently, and everyone likes his dog. It's like introducing yourself as Madonna.

Not to mention the fact that angels are a thing here. Gabriel owns a nightclub and has been here for like two years. There are two Lucifers and only one of them's a psychopath.

It's a completely different paradigm.

Ah. That explains the diva-like personality then. Has he showed up in a cone bra yet?

[His face twists uncomfortable at the mention of Gabriel and the Lucifers, though. It's one thing to have Gabriel here, but to have Lucifer here? And on top of them, two? It's not something Crowley is looking forward to. After all, he'd almost faced off against Lucifer during the end, if one of them remembered it, he'd probably be toast.]

[Best not to think about that.]

So, what you're saying is that, nobody really cares about who or what you are anymore? No demon hunting or churches towards the greatness of Michael and Gabriel or anything? They're just...normal?

Normal's a strong word for it- they're all kind of batshit, but. In the sense of being Newcomers like everyone else?

[He nods sincerely, without any shred of the kind of insincerity most humans would have about this. He gets it.]

Yeah.

Besides, I'm pretty sure Gabriel would burn down his own church, if he had one.

[He almost wants to laugh at that, because the image of archangels hanging around doing ordinary human things is something he needs to see to believe. But at the same time, it also surprisingly stings- only he and Aziraphale had hung around Earth while the rest of their kind had visited on occasion. They were the ones who had gone native, who had learned what human life was like and made it worse or better depending on how they wanted it.]

[And now, it seemed most of the pavilion was here, doing that exact same thing. It was like seeing the talent you've specialized at for years suddenly get outshined by new acts, better players, beings who were much more powerful than Crowley could ever hope to be.]

[So he frowns, understanding and taking Chuck's sincerity into account, but not being able to stop the wave of disappointment that washes over him. He was supposed to be the representative that was researching the ways of human beings, and now, that role was null and void.]

...

Would he? [A short laugh.] What, does he need sacrifices of cattle and sheep towards his name, now?

[The surprise is expected- the obvious disappointment, less so. Strange.]

Are you kidding? He'd hate that shit. He... isn't your average angel. You'll probably like him.

[Crowley isn't your average angel either, which is why he's more intrigued about this version of Gabriel as Chuck keeps talking.]

Really? In what ways isn't he average?

He's what happens if you cross a trickster, a five year old on Halloween, and Hugh Hefner.

[A pause, and then he lets out a snicker. He can't help it, the mental image is just amazing.]

...Those three things were probably the last things I could have used to describe the guy.

So, he's not anything like I remember, is he?

Nope, not even a little.

Plus, you know- he's not really your Gabriel. Technically you don't remember him.

001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

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