sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

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001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

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[And Crowley switches on his filter -- and the video feed. He's in his home, in a leather chair that looks slightly too big for him, but he seems to take it up anyway. And his hellhound, ever present, is at his side, her massive head resting on the arm of the chair, with her nose pressing into his sleeve, but the demon doesn't seem to notice or pay attention to her.

The dog hasn't left his side since he was murdered.]

I didn't have to kill him. I helped lock him in the Cage. But regardless -- that's antiquated history that isn't relevant anymore. We can discuss that later, at a different time. More importantly --

[Crowley shifts slightly, his eyes a little brighter, with interest.]

You're a fallen angel, aren't you?

[Michael wouldn't have given half a shit if he weren't family.]

Edited 2012-03-21 22:32 (UTC)

[He narrows his eyes, taking the image of the room in, as well as the large hellhound. Now, that's a hellhound. The one he had seen that had belonged to Adam had been...well, changed, for lack of a better word.]

That's still a history I'd like hearing at some point. "At some point" being another way of saying "soon".

[He doesn't answer for a bit, still thinking of whether or not it's a good idea, but eventually just shrugs and answers, nonchalantly:]

Yes, I am. Not that that matters to the dear old family much. Had Michael check in on me just recently, that was a nice surprise.

What's it to you? Worried I'll suddenly go miracle on you or something?

It's not a story to be told over an NV. It carries much more weight and dramatic flair when I tell it to you in person.

[A dismissive wave of his fingers.]

And no. I actually happen to like fallen angels, with the exception of Lucifer, of course. They tend to see things my way instead of attempting to smite me across the floor without listening to what I have to say.

I eagerly await the stage production of the story with costumes and special effects, then.

[He lets out an amused huff.] Yeah, well, we're special like that, aren't we? Though you're pretty odd, for a demon...I was expecting more "Hail the King of Darkness" rather than "Oh, bugger him, he's a twat."

I'm different than most demons in that I'm not a self-righteous whore.

[It's said lightly, though Crowley seems pretty pleased with this assessment, and he shrugs a shoulder.]

You don't gain respect by being an asshole.

Good for you. Was there like a self-help course for that, or what?

[He can't help but smirk at that.]

Oh, I know. Most of the time? I'm a pretty charming guy, because the only way to tempt is to get on people's good sides.

I am simply the product of a long line of evolution culminating in me telling the script to fuck off.

[Pleasantly.]

A temptress? Selling sin to saints? Sounds like my business. The fallen angel I'm living with certainly isn't that exciting.

I suppose that makes sense, being my namesake and all.

You're the man walking out from a lineage of apes, I see.

[He lets out a laugh.] You have another fallen angel? And yes, tempting is my business. After all, I was the original tempter. But I've branched outwards quite a bit. My colleagues back home are still going around tempting one person at a time, and I'm tainting millions of people all at once.

For example, I tied up all the telephone lines during lunch hour once. You should have seen the looks on people's faces.

Demons, in my world, were once human. Lucifer was the one who mucked up that process.

[Idly... and then, Crowley pauses.]

Please tell me 'the original tempter' is something you keep to yourself, because that sounds absolutely rubbish.

Ugh. [He makes a disgusted look.] "Mucking up" is a bit of a euphemism of that, I guess.

[And then he just smiles like the snake that he is.]

Hey, it's what they write about me. The one who introduced Original Sin, the tempter...open up the encyclopedia and look up the "Serpent of Eden", it's all there.

... so -- wait a moment.

You were the snake that tempted the first woman.

[Oh -- my God, Crowley is going to forever rub it in Lilith's face if she ever shows up here, because really.]

The one and only. Took you long enough to understand.

[He is looking so smug right now.]

Yes, I got Eve to eat that apple right out of the tree. What can I say, I had a way with words and she was stupid enough to fall for it.

She wasn't stupid.

[Watch it. >:(]

And honestly, you're a bottom feeding snake, that's hardly something to be proud of.

Defending her, much? I mean, she was the one who got tempted first, so she wasn't exactly a genius when it came to taking things from strangers.

[His mouth does twitch slightly at the snake comment, but he tries not to show it, his smug look still staying on as if it could never leave.]

Not any more. In case you didn't notice, I sort of have legs nowadays. And arms.

[ -- ah, but Crowley knows people, and he sees that twitch. But he doesn't say anything -- instead, he just files it away for later.]

The last Eve I met was a stupid whore, but the first woman to be twisted is an entirely different story.

[Lilith was special.]

And do you. I hadn't noticed.

...Oh, you mean the first first woman? Sheesh, be more clear next time, I thought we were talking about the same person here. No, I didn't come until after she had her little fit and ran away. I tempted the one after.

[And his tone is as dry as ever.]

If I didn't, makes you wonder how I'm possible walking around and holding things. Boggles the mind, doesn't it.

[Oh, but this is something Crowley is interested in. This is worth putting aside the pettiness.]

Did you know her well? The first.

I did in some respects. Never talked to her, but I was in the Garden when she was still there.

Why are you so interested in her, anyways?

I knew her very well.

Obviously you didn't.

[Hrm. The difference is interesting, anyway.]

Got chummy with her after the whole incident with Adam? Figures.

But yes, I was only given the orders when Eve popped out, so sorry that we don't share a mutual friend between us.

She was one of the demons that pulled me out of the pits of Hell, actually.

[Mildly. Indifferent.

A slight warning that Crowley will find a way to remove your eyes if you don't tread carefully.]

My human life began far after the fall of humanity.

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001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

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