Anthony J. Crowley (
vaguelysauntered) wrote in
sirenspull2012-03-21 11:29 am
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001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.
[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]
Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.
[A pause as he lets that sink in.]
Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.
Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?
[He grins widely.]
What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.
Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.
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[ Pausing right back. Mulling it over quickly behind the bemused look he decides that's more likely but he didn't... have anything in mind. ]
Uh, no. It was just a tip. Y'know, general life advice.
[ AWKWARD ]
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Oh well. When I meet you in person, I'll know. Trust me, I have a way of finding out what people want in life.
It just is rare when I find someone who doesn't want anything for themselves, so sorry if I say that I don't really believe you right now.
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You don't think I can? Detect your desires and such, I mean.
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no subject
If I want something I just make it happen, but then gettin' it is just as important as having it. That's what makes me me: there's nothing I could possibly desire that I can't make happen on my own. [ Shrugging casually while somehow ramping the arrogance up to 11. ] Sometimes it takes time, but it never fails. Because of that I used to get told I was blessed by God. [ A derisive snort. ] I gotta tell you, it was kinda insulting.