sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I understand that, but shouldn't you know the propaganda first so you know how to tell the difference when you learn the truth?

[Jeez, it's like you're new at mystery-solving.]

I was planning on going back and learning the propaganda afterwards. Because I don't want to see that as the truth first and then deny people who are telling me the actual truth about things later.

[Shut up Mary, it's not like he lost the Antichrist for over ten years or anything.]

You're obviously smart enough to tell truth from lies. All you did was miss out on the coupon book.

Oh, my. Because I clearly needed one lie free with every purchase of the truth.

[An incredibly irritated sigh.]

We have this service for a reason, Mr. Crowley. [She actually pronounces it right for a change.] If you could swallow your pride and understandable panic over being kidnapped across dimensions and talk to us, you would know I meant an actual book of coupons. Things in this city cost money, and you don't have any that counts here.

[Some days she hates her job, okay. This is just one of them.]

Okay- basics. The Darkness doesn't just refer to nighttime or evil. It's more of a collective term for two main parts of what happens at night: the Seep, and the monsters. There's a bestiary guide to Darkness flora and fauna written by a native that's really accurate and in-depth if you want to find it.

[He really wants to snark back but then realizes that maybe this is good information to keep in mind, so he listens, his tone level.]

Money? But, um...what if you don't need commodities like everyone else does?

[I mean, he miracles things like clothing into existence, no one is going to charge him for that, right?]

Yeah, you mentioned it earlier. I'll take a a look at it soon enough. It happens as soon as nighttime starts, right?

You mean if you don't eat or need to buy clothes? [As if this doesn't faze her at all.] Well, I think Michael and Lucifer - and Crowley, if I had to guess - probably use their income to pay rent. And buy alcohol- the good stuff still costs money.

[She brushes her hair from her eyes and continues smoothly.]

There are sirens every morning and evening to signal the Darkness.

Pay rent and getting drunk. Alright, that makes sense, in a way.

[And a slight quirk of the eyebrow.]

Morning tells you that it's over, right? And these sirens are throughout the whole city?

Yep. You'll hear them soon enough. The city and the companies pay to keep them working reliably because everyone depends on them.

By the way, don't think you're immune to the Darkness, no matter what you are or what powers you have in your world. Don't try to make friends with Darkness, or tame it or keep it as a pet. Just getting that out of the way.

001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

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