sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dude, I've gotta agree with Buffy. Which end of the world? I've been through a few.

[Now Crowley is just thinking you two are insane for having gone through more than one Apocalypse. He already had enough of one.]

[Dryly:] I'm sorry, I completely forgot to read the license plate of Armageddon as it happened. Better luck next time for me, I guess.

That'd probably be a good idea, yeah. Helps folks around here know which one you're talking about.

I'm Jubilee, by the way.

Jubilee?

[A pause.]

Don't tell me you're a stripper.

[Jubilee just stares at the video feed for a moment, before cracking the hell up. She just starts laughing. Tears prick her eyes and she tries to stop but it'll take her a few minutes.]

Sorry. [Clears throat.] No. I'm a gymnast, a bartender, an awesome girlfriend and a superhero but... I'm too short to be a stripper.

Okay, good. Because I was halfway wondering what "Jubilee" could be a euphemism for.

A superhero? What, like in the comics?

In some worlds, yep. Back home it was real, but I know some worlds have comic books about the X-Men.

Actually it's a contraction of my name. So, ya know. [Shrug.]

Nope, never heard of the X-men, though there were some comics with superhero team names like that, if I recall.

What, is your name like Jubileellla or something? That's a unique contraction, if I say so.

Yeah. I'm totally used to the superhero comic book thing. Then again, alternate dimensions are kinda usual back home too.

[She snorts.]

Not even close. Just call me Jubilee.

So, you're used to this kind of stuff in everyday life? Figures. Did you wear spandex and all those weird costumes they had?

Alright, Jubilee, then. A pleasure.

Something like that.

[She grins.]

So you're a demon, huh? Lord of Hell and all that?

[He stares for a second, before answering, carefully:]

What makes you say that?

Demons weren't common back home but I ran across one or two. And, you might have noticed the rather prolific population of one very cranky, bitchy, Scottish Demon who claims to be the king of hell.

Yeah, I've talked to him.

[He frowns, sounding like he'd rather not talk about said cranky demon, thank you very much.]

Has he caused much trouble?

[She starts painting her nails.]

Enough for a couple of weeks or so. Why?

Eh, just wondering.

["...if I have competition, if he's someone I should worry about, if he's secretly a serial killer who eats livers and hisses at people, that sort of thing."]

Has he hurt anyone?

That, you'd have to ask him. I dunno.

[Are you going to be a pain in my ass like him? Why are all the demons showing up? Or all the angels? Can't I have a normal alternate world adventure?]

He hangs out with Castiel.

[Oh, that's an interesting name. Not one that Crowley knows, but his interest is piqued.]

Who's Castiel?

Guy in a trenchcoat. Has a hellhound puppy.

[She's not telling you he's an angel. She has that much respect.]

Why is it such an important distinction in that he has a hellhound puppy? I mean, really, is it like a status symbol around here, or...?

Well, figured you're a demon, or whatever, you'd be able to see it right? And you'd know what a hellhound puppy looks like. So, it'd be a tip off for you. Not all of us can see 'em.

Oh.

[So, being able to see hellhounds automatically meant he was a demon, huh?]

Who else can see them, though? Besides demons.

[Her prejudice, let her show you it. Crowley = demon.]

Angels, a few others. But they've got some... esoteric connections, I think. Not really sure. I just know I can't see them.

Lucky you.

No, really, you're lucky, those things are vicious little buggers.

I will gladly take your word for it. The only one I've seen is Loki's and that's just because he added hot pink to the thing.

[Jubilee just starts giving herself a manicure.]

You'll find there are all sorts here in the Port. And by all sorts, I do mean all sorts.

001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

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