sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

This is a whole damn city of superheroes and they all hide inside at night anyway, so what's that tell you?

[Anya is the most helpful.]

There are lots of places you can go if you get there before Sirens. Bars and stuff, mostly, the night bus, and there's a one big shelter in the slum I think? Plus the free newcomer apartments are sealed up. Darkness-proofed, I mean.

If you're stuck outside and it's already dark, your best bet is the underground mall. There's three entrances in different parts of the city.

[have a quick freehand map sketch]

If you die, you turn into one of those things for a while until you get brought back.

Good point.

So, everyone has magical powers and such, huh? That has something to do with this Core thing I've read about, right?

Well I don't got one, but they tell me the Core'll gimme one eventually.

Okay, first explain the fact that you get brought back from the dead. Because that is something that is not at all ordinary.

And what turns you into the monsters? The dark forces of the place or what?

[So that angel who's portrayed crushing Satan under his foot with sword in hand? This is him.

No go away. Michael doesn't want anymore angels - fallen or not. Though he seems pretty casual about it.]

We have greeters for a reason. They should be doing more than offering a cheerful fake welcome.

[... well at least he thought about it.]

Charming, mate. Is this how you usually go about talking to people?

[So far, Anya? You are his favorite. Everyone else is just griping about his attitude or the other Crowley and you just answered his question without any of that.]

Good, good. That's helpful. And having the map is nice too, I need to get acquainted with those areas before sundown occurs...

Any methods towards keeping away the darkness when it's already dark, or is it just hope that you make it out alive?

So it just gives out powers like candy?

Who's stopping anyone from just jamming it open and getting all the powers they want?

The Apocalypse, huh?

[Aaaand cue the charming smile, because really. How can he resist dem cheekbones.]

Pretty sure I've done that before, too.

Uh... The companies, I think. But like nobody knows how to work the thing, anyway.

[Or at least, pretended to. Crowley is good at that sort of thing.]

Most of the time, but even more so when I've been dragged across time and space to Canada. I mean, really, Canada, of all the places they could have picked? It's hilarious.

Maybe you could just deal with it like normal people who recognize that there's more than one Steve in the world.

[Shrug. Just saying~]

I talked to Aziraphale- and that kid Adam? I knew him.

[Oh, no, oh no, oh no, this...this isn't good. He hasn't had such a close encounter with an archangel since his time up in Heaven, so he visibly tenses, clutching the tire iron that came with him out of frame involuntarily.]

Well, let's just say that I wanted to skip it anyways. I find more on my own, after all.

[Just glaring at you forever, Michael. Stay away, man. >BI]

[She was out at night not too long ago, so she's actually happy to share.]

Kinda? You have to keep moving or you'll start deteriorating like everything else, but you don't want to run too fast and attract attention. I tried climbing up a building at one point. Some of the things can fly, but it's a small portion of the whole mess. I had to come down and move on once my skin started peeling off in places.

That vanished when the sun came up, for the record, but I think if it killed you that wouldn't help. The wounds I got from the monsters didn't though, those stay. There's like a million types and I only ran into a few. You'd have better odds with a weapon, but it's hardly a guarantee. And I don't think anything works against all of them.

Is this "Let's Share Stories About the Apocalypse" Day or something? Because I seriously missed a memo.

[Really, this is just crazy.]

How many people here have gone through the whole event, anyways?

[Damn it, Crowley :|]

Least it's part of the Commonwealth... well not really. This islands just like a little country in itself. I mean I don't blame if you're pissed off about it, a lot of people are, it's none to pleasant to start with especially [And she came in with a clash of memories, giant headache there.] There's just no need to be rude though to people who are in the same situation you are.

...Fine. But if he thinks that he's the better Crowley out of us two, then that's an utter lie.

[A pause.] Wait, the Antichrist? You knew him? [He peers at the camera, curious.] He didn't do too much damage to this place, did he?

[The Antichrist is not a person to be messed with, for sure. He's probably the only person Crowley is genuinely terrified of.]

Oh. Really. It's really too bad there isn't a trained group of Newcomers who know the problems first-hand and are paid to tell you about them.

Weee-eell, I didn't really go through the whole thing, it was more of a trying to stop it thing. There weren't, you know. Horsemen and things.

Anyway, pleased to meet you, Crowley. Name's Jack Harkness.

Ah, SERO and AGI, those two, right?

What does it do, besides giving out powers?

And it's really too bad that I'm in a place which I do not know, and that the place might have people who are paid to tell you the wrong information.

Can't just go trust anyone off the bat, can I?

Better? That's a little preschool, don't you think?

[Shaking his head.] Anyway- no, he's a nice kid. Cute- a lot happier than the other Antichrist.

[He sips his drink. It's too early for vodka, but that's his every-day.]

I understand that, but shouldn't you know the propaganda first so you know how to tell the difference when you learn the truth?

[Jeez, it's like you're new at mystery-solving.]

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