001 (VIDEO)

[bestie]

- a camera? That wasn't there before!

[The lower half of someone's face filters into focus, right up against the lens. Hope you don't mind an extreme close-up of someone's chin, because that's what you're getting while Jane tries to sort this out.]

Roxy, are you even listening to me?

[Meanwhile, this other person's squealing up a storm in the background.] Janeeeeeeey! Can you fucking believe this shit? It's, like, one second, I'm scramming from the scene -- ravenous creeps all over the damn place, Jane, you wouldn't even believe -- and now!

[There's a pause.] Heh... I hope you're not mad at me still! It's not like I meant to fall on you.

[And then another excited squeal.] Janeyyyy! Come here, ya damn tightass. [Roxy suddenly pulls the other girl in for yet another forceful hug, just before noticing the object in her hands.] What the fuck are you doing with that shit, eh? Didn't I tell you to toss it?

I'm trying to figure out when- [She lets out a little yelp and drops the Tiaratop. It clatters down to the dirt, still recording the girls' feet.] -when it got a camera feature! Something's really fishy about this.

[A pause as Jane leans down to pick up the device. She looks right into the camera.]

Wait, is this thing recording?

I told you not to trust the Batterwitch's shit, Jane. When are you ever gonna learn?

[That last question catches her attention, though.] Oh, really? [She shoves her face right against Jane's cheek to fit into the camera's view.

And now she's making kissy faces at the camera and winking suggestively. Yep.]

((OOC: Jane and Roxy! Apologies for the bright colors ;_;))

Comments

[mustaches]

[Holy shit he's orange what is this]

Oh! Uh...

[bestie]

[...]

What.

[Sorry that 1) these two broads are not very receptive, and 2) this particular one is a bit blunt, Davesprite.]

[crowsicle]

Yeah, I know I'm literally too fucking hot for the English language to describe.

[He shrugs. No big deal.]

So when you girls finish getting your eyefuls of my fine feathery flesh, you think I can answer anything else for you. You might've noticed, but this ain't your mama's British Columbia.

[mustaches]

British Columbia? But that isn't far from Washington at all! I bet it wouldn't take long to get there if we could get our hands on a ride.

[Sudden hope, however brief. Sorry, Jane, Canada's bigger than you're thinking. Not to mention that you'd die trying to leave.]

[crowsicle]

You could probably get your hands on it, but you'd just be doggy-paddling in circles. I hear if you get too far from this place, you drop dead. Something about a Core in the middle of the city that's way too much bullshit for me to repeat.

[He hesitates, then asks:]

You're from Washington, too?

[Because she bears a bucktoothed resemblance to someone he knows, and it's starting to get freaky.]

[bestie]

[Roxy's eyebrows are knitted together in confusion. None of this is making any sense!] So you're saying we're trapped here?

[mustaches]

Yeah, Maple Valley. [Her eyes light up a little.] Are you from Washington too?

[crowsicle]

Blondie gets a prize, but no candy corn for you, Problem Sleuth. Can't you tell I fell straight down from heaven?

[The Texan accent might give it a little bit away. Still, he's got more important things to worry about than whether or not the girls can tell he's from the South.

This chick is basically girl John. She's John Egbert with tits. And didn't her name start with a J? And she's from Wherever-the-Hell, Washington state?]

You got a last name to go with that obviously coincidental address?

[bestie]

[Meanwhile, Roxy's tapping her finger on her lips, scrutinizing Davesprite's appearance while Jane makes her response.]

So, are you ever gonna tell us why you're orange and covered in feathers? And why you look just like that other cutie?

[mustaches]

[Jane shoots Roxy a clear "That was rude!" glance.]

It's Crocker. And what do you mean, "coincidental"?

[crowsicle]

[Crocker?]

What, like Betty Crocker? Ahahaha, Jesus, John's going to flip his shit when he finds out who's squatting in his hood. He is going to build a goddamn trebuchet and take a dump in the thing and catapult his fucking shit. Hahaha, Christ.

[He shakes his head and then addresses Roxy.]

I ollied out of heaven smack into a Doritos factory. You been talking to Dave?