text

[murderfacing]

SIERNS PORT?!!!!? WTF MORE LIEK PIS PORT!!11! OMG LOL
THIS SI WILLIAM MURDERFACE TEH L3AD BASIST AND SONG-WRIETR FOR DETHKLOK!11!1 LOL MAYB U H3ARD OF TH3M
ANYWAY OMG LOL PIKL3S SKWISOMETHNG 2KI NATHAN CHARLES WH3RE R U GUYS?!?!! WTF LOL CHITER SI BLOKED ON THES STUPID PEICA SHIT
ALSO SON W3 SHUD LIEK 2TALY GO SE TAHT NU MOVEI AND TH3N I CAN SE U AT AN 3ARLEY PLANET PISS PRACTIEC!111!1! OMG IV3 BEN THINKNG OF L3TNG U HELP ME WRIET A COUPLE OF SONGS

AND TH3S APARTMENTS SUK HOLEY SHIT
SOMEBUDY HYER A MADE OR SOM3THNG JEZ

Comments

[voice]

[murderfacing]

Ladies trip over themselves to get with me. [ inwardly deadcating ]

[voice]

[drinkthebleach]

[Pickles doesn't even bother responding to that, so have a long, skeptical silence, Willie Murderface.]

[voice]

[murderfacing]

[ Petulant silence in return. ]

[voice]

[drinkthebleach]

So yer just hangin' out at the starter apartments, right now?

[voice]

[murderfacing]

Yeah.

[voice]

[drinkthebleach]

Cool. So I'll see you in 'bout an hour or somethin'. Whenever I fuckin' get there.

[voice]

[murderfacing]

Don't get lost. I ain't coming out to get you.

[voice]

[drinkthebleach]

That's real nice. You've been here for five minutes an' yer worried 'bout me gettin' lost?

Whatever, just keep yer shorts on, dude. I'll see you later. [Click. End of discussion for the time-being.]

action 4 lyf

[murderfacing]

[ whatever pickles you douche.

he's just chilling on his shitty couch on his p. cool laptop and fucking around on the network. knock on his door pickles. he dares you ]

action

[drinkthebleach]

[Of course he knocks on the door about an hour and a half later, because that's when he fucking gets there.

So are you going to answer it, or not?]

action

[murderfacing]

[ FUCK NO. ]

I'm not interested in what you're selling! [ Is the shout that he gets. ]

action

[drinkthebleach]

S' me, you douche bag. Open up. [Is the stubborn quip that Murderface gets in response.]

[murderfacing]

[ There's the sound of a toilet flushing and a few seconds later Murderface opens the door. No way in hell did he wash his hands. ]

I knew that.

[drinkthebleach]

[A beat in which he looks at Murderface and it really hits him that he was there. Though Pickles hadn't missed him, because that would be gay, he almost accepted the idea that he'd never see anyone he knew from home again. It was weird to see and smell him again.

He handles this by treating the situation like nothing ever happened and they were still in Mord Haus.] Have you gotten any booze yet?

OOPS MAYBE I SHOULD PAY ATTENTION FIRST BEFORE REPLYING.

[murderfacing]

[ He points to the cartons of alcohol on the counter. ]

Hell yeah. I got some idiot to deliver it to me.

[drinkthebleach]

Fantastic.

[Naturally he makes a beeline for the alcohol, picking up a bottle for himself and then hunting his kitchen nook for a bottle opener.]

[murderfacing]

It's amazing what people will do for you after you threaten to cut their dicks off. [ He probably won't find one. Murderface, on the other hand, just uses his teeth to open up the cap. Blood spills from his lips and gums but, you know what, fuck it.

The alcohol would make it better. ]

[drinkthebleach]

[Since he's still looking for utensils, he doesn't see that little maneuver Murderface performed (but eww, don't do that with his drink). Eventually Pickles just gives up and uses a towel to twist it off, and then turns to look back at him again.]

...Jeez. You really are here, huh?

[murderfacing]

In the flesh. [ He pats his stomach then takes a swig. ]

But everyone else isn't? Maybe this is some gay band bonding experience.

[drinkthebleach]

[A snort.] Then they shoulda at least given us a fuckin' head's up before just throwin' you, me, an' Toki into some butt-fuck part of Canada.

I don't even know where the other guys are.

[murderfacing]

Probably in the hot tub having the time of their lives without us! [ He's a little angry about that. Okay, more than a little angry. ]

How does Charles expect us to survive in this place without enough money for food? I'm going to starve before this week is over.

[drinkthebleach]

Murderface. [Hand to face.] Yer not gonna starve.

Well yeah, you might. But you know what yer gonna hafta do if you don't wanna worry 'bout that.

[murderfacing]

[ He pauses. ]

Pickles, I'm not going to sell my body for food. That's disgusting and wrong.

[drinkthebleach]

That's not what I--[Stop short. Repress. Just let Murderface go on to figure it out by himself.] Ugh. Forget I said anything.

[He sips his beer and looks to the side.]