six ;; voice

[thequarterback]

[No video this time. Voice only. He wasn't even going to bother with that. This was originally text, but he feels confident enough right now to speak. Video is just out of the question though. There's no chance of that right now]

I just have one question, you know, something I've been sorta wondering about. [He's trying to keep his voice steady and his tone light, but he can't seem to really bring much life to it] Go ahead and ignore me if this is too personal or whatever, but how do you deal with death? [He pauses] I mean, there's been that stuff on the news about vampire attacks and people dying and everything. So it just got me thinking, I guess. [That's not how he started thinking about it at all] I mean, I, uh, I never really lost anyone close to me before, at least not anyone I remember. 

Comments

[showbizpanache]

Thank you.

Rachel will be really proud of you.

[thequarterback]

Please, Kurt, don't do that.

[showbizpanache]

Do what? Insist that she's coming back? Since when has it been so hard for you to believe in something?

[thequarterback]

Since my girlfriend was killed last night. Look, I don't want to believe it because then it'll just be that much easier if she doesn't come back.

[showbizpanache]

This isn't about what's easy. It's about doing what she'd want us to do.

[thequarterback]

For you, maybe, but I'm not you, Kurt. I can't sit here and keep telling myself that she's going to come back because I don't believe it, and I won't until the day she does come back.

For me, it's about what's easier because I can't do this again. I can't get my hopes up about her coming back and then have it never happen because then it would just be like her dying all over again. [His voice is trembling] I can't do this a second time, Kurt.

[showbizpanache]

[A stretch of silence.]

It's not your fault, Finn. If anything, it's mine.

[thequarterback]

Yes, it is my fault, Kurt. I should've been there with her. Any other time I probably would've been there but I wasn't because I was too caught up in myself and all of the shit from home that doesn't even matter here.

[showbizpanache]

...I'm coming over.

[thequarterback]

I'll be here, I guess. [Since he's pretty certain that nothing will stop Kurt anyway. Well, nothing short of Finn leaving before Kurt ever gets there, though he won't be leaving]

[showbizpanache]

[And Kurt arrives promptly. Ordinarily he'd show up with some kind of baked confection in hand, but he's stretched so thin that even baking hasn't been helping.]

Finn. Hi.

[thequarterback]

[In a shocking twist, Finn actually leaves his room to wait for Kurt. He's just sitting on the couch, staring down at the NV he's still holding. He doesn't even bother looking up from it when he hears Kurt] Hi Kurt.

[showbizpanache]

[That doesn't bother Kurt. He moves to sit beside his brother, folding his hands delicately in his lap. He's quiet for a while.]

So Finn, I was thinking... We should go to the Newcomer Memorial.

[thequarterback]

[Finn glances at his brother out of the corner of his eye. His brother. The one person in this place who he should feel safe going to about things like this. Yet it's been easier to talk to almost complete strangers]

Newcomer Memorial? What's that?

[showbizpanache]

Exactly what it sounds like. It's like... [He says this carefully.] It's sort of like a cemetery, but no one is buried there. It was built to honor Newcomers who have died or were sent home.

[thequarterback]

[Finn nods slowly as he listens, as though simply to make sure Kurt knows he understands. He's reluctant to answer and considers telling Kurt to simply go alone. But maybe Kurt's right] When do you wanna go?

[showbizpanache]

Whenever you'd like.

[thequarterback]

[Finn turns to look at his brother, then looks down as he turns the NV over in his hands a few times. He tosses it down onto the couch then gets to his feet] Think maybe we could go now? Or sometime soon or something?

[showbizpanache]

Yeah, let's go.

[thequarterback]

Kurt. [He looks down at his feet, his voice growing quiet] I miss her already.