6th Standoff ☆ Voice

[cowboycop]

(( ooc: Forward-dated to about 7PM, action opportunity for housemates. ))

Got a question fer all y'all. You ever... wish you could change somethin'? Y'ever had one of those moments when you just... wish you could go back'n... fix it all?

[A pause, as he seems to tap his foot down. His spur jingles in time, so one can only assume.]

... though I figger that here, it'd be goin' forward an' fixin' it. Three years ago fer me, three years ahead fer Siren's Port, I reckon... [One could probably hear a faint sigh if they tried. This is hard for him to admit, even bring up again.] ... a man named Neil Marshall was killed. Man I loved like a brother, 'cause... he was my brother. An' no matter how long ago it's been, I keep wonderin'... maybe I coulda... done somethin' different. Maybe I coulda jus' stayed behind a bit longer. I dunno.

... so how do y'all keep it from gettin' to ya? Even I'll admit I ain't got a clue. Guess that's my real question I should be askin'. Jus' lemme know. I'll... I'll get back to ya.

[He tries to turn off the voice, but just before, in a quiet voice that was meant to be just for himself:]

Dammit, Marshall, keep it together...

Comments

[voice]

[underdogged]

[his voice has a forced detachment, making him sound oddly robotic] You don't. You blame yourself or you find someone else to blame and hate them instead. Either way, it's never going away.

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

... that's what I was afraid of, t'be perfectly honest with ya. [He sighs, not seeming too happy with that answer.] Reckon it's lots of both.

[not here]

[acemedium]

[But she remembers you. And she'll remember this]

voice;

[awakenings]

[She's never heard Jake so choked up about something before, though it's perfectly understandable. Someone close to him died.]

It's difficult. It's hard to say if anything could ever be done to change what's happened...and the possibility will continue to grate on you so long as you remember. I don't have much advice for you, Jake.

[She pauses.]

But I know how you feel. You aren't alone in thinking like that.

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

[He had kind of hoped she wouldn't answer, in some foolish way. ]

... well... ain't forgettin' any time soon, miss Re-l. Won't give up my brother's memory 'til I'm dead and gone, buried with my boots on.

[That sentiment hits him hard - that there are other people like him, dealing with the eternal regret of not being able to do that one thing. Hindsight is always 20/20.]

... wouldn't wish this kinda feelin' on no one. And I certainly ain't wishin' it on a gal like you.

Voice

[beenwaitinglong]

[He's at his usual Sunday coffee spot, but that doesn't stop him from responding. It takes him a long moment to come up with anything to say.]

I wish I could give you any advice either way. I think I'm the worst person to give it, in this case.

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

Reckon we both are, amigo. Ain't yer fault we're both too stubborn as mules. Just thought that... well... if Neil were alive today, he wouldn't wanna see me like this.

... better bring me back some. [He hears the grinder in the background.] Figger I'll need it.

[voice]

[madeinoblivion]

Is it the same future, in this world?

Permavideo

[cowboycop]

I'll be darned if I know. There's s'posed to be a million Earths, ain't there? Port's got a ton of crazy world stories packed into it.

[voice]

[ergomaniac]

[A pause as Edgeworth debates whether or not Jake would even want to hear from him on this one. But, finally, a bit quietly:]

Do you remember why you and your brother went into the law?

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

Sure do. Number of reasons, really, mostly we had the brains and guts fer it and always liked the lawless West bein' tamed by the good ol' sheriff. And my part, at least, I wanted to work together with Neil. We made a good team, him an' me.I always had the knack fer findin' evidence and he always had a knack fer puttin' it all together.

... why'dja ask?

[frosty_mind]

There are a number of things I regret, but as the result of cumulative actions and inactions. I revisit chains of events, not a single moment repeatedly.

There are techniques one can use to stop reliving old memories, and if you're having problems with that I recommend them. Beyond that -- work to do, and/or other distractions, and go on.

I found it helped to come to an answer about the what-if questions, even if I needed to phrase it in estimated probabilities.

[cowboycop]

[He listens to everything she has to say remarkably attentively. There's not a peep from his end of the line. But when she's finished completely, he does release a sigh, proving that the line didn't disconnect.]

Yeah. You could say the last two years of my life, 'fore I came here, was a chain of events that I regret not stoppin' earlier. Cost me another friend in the process. [And the girl he loved, but he's not mentioning that.]

Work and all that ain't helpin'. I reckon that's because it jus' keeps remindin' me of cops an' prosecutors I worked with back home. What else is there?

I reckon I could do that... but it ain't makin' it any better. It ain't likely I coulda helped at all, even with what I know now. That's what's hittin' me the hardest.

[Voice]

[theyallwantme]

You remember the good times you had with them. It isn't your fault...you have to remember that. No matter how hard it is to remember...

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

The good times... yeah, me and Neil, we had a lotta good times. [Then his voice takes on a bit of a sullen tone.] Just wish I'd had a lot longer than 27 years with 'im.

audio;

[cognidis]

[ He stares at this post for a long time before he can think of an answer for it. ]

...There's a lot of things I wish I could change.

For the people who are gone...I don't know if there's any way to bring them back [ I doubt it ], but -- I think honoring their memory is the best thing we can do.

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

[He gives a shake of his head.] Guess we're both up the creek without a paddle, in that regard. But I'm glad to know I ain't the only one.

It's what I've been doing. But it's... it's rough on a man, y'know? Hard to deal with knowin' you're the only one that remembers.

[voice] for now!

[acemedium]

[There's a lot Maya can say to this. Death of family (blood and adopted) has been one of the few constants in her life ever since she was a baby, she's lost two brothers in the Port alone, and if she's honest with herself (and she so rarely is), those "What if I had...." thoughts follow her wherever she goes. But....]

You can't think like that, for one.

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

[Oh dear, it's the kid. He... hadn't wanted to spill all his troubles on her in the first place.]

... I can't, huh? Why do you say that, bambina? You gotta back that up with evidence, kid, else you'll just be shootin' blanks.

[Voice]

[not_the_dreck]

There's no point in trying to change the past. It is what it is, and nothing we do can change that.

[Most excellent ray of sunshine ever.]

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

[Best ray of sunshine.]

Sure, I reckon not, but... ain't it ever tempted ya, thinkin' about what you might'a been able to change?

voice;

[longaevus]

There are some things that you can't change. [ It sounds terrible, she knows, but after seeing her life unfold and everything that she did, everyone that she'd lost? There'd been a lot that she'd wanted to change but she couldn't. She wasn't God, doing so would be no better than Adam and how much would it all change?

As for stopping it from getting to you? She didn't even know ]

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

Reckon it was a long shot anyway. Much as I'd like to... ain't sure I could get off the island to stop it anyway. And I ain't sure I'd find Neil iff'n I'd did.

[allucinator]

I shut me eyes and I tell meself ain't no use in worryin'. That I ain't gettin' nothin' done by worryin', and that . . .

[A pause. He sucks in a soft breath.]

That if I can't never change nothin', the dead's probably in a good place now. And then I say a prayer for all the good it might do and go keep meself busy.

Permavideo

[cowboycop]

[Well, he'd recognize that voice anywhere. Against his better judgement, he turns on the video feed. His eyes look a little puffy, as if he's been crying recently, but he mostly tries to hide that under his hat, which is still on his head.]

... well, I ain't sure there's a better answer than that, sometimes, pardner. [Jake gives a weak nod, as if to clarify his point.] All I can hope for is that my brother's in a good place. Great place, even, lot better than this ol' hunk'a rock.

You believe in God, Jack?

Audio.

[doctor_seward]

[Oh! It's that man who reminded him so of Quincey...]

Yes...Every waking moment. There is a thing which I regret. But I feel that a good, wholesome purpose in life keeps me from dwelling on the pains of the past.

[For him, that something was work.]

Permavideo

[cowboycop]

[Jake seems to remember Seward's voice, because after a moment, he turns it on to video. He's only really half-dressed, his typical poncho and police uniform missing. Instead he's wearing a simple white tank with blue jeans. The hat's still there, though. And Jake looks remarkably tired. The skin around his eyes looks a bit red and puffy, like he's been crying recently, but there's no way in hell he would admit to such.]

Bein' a homicide detective was my purpose, 'fore Neil died and... well, 'fore things went to all sorts'a hell. I'm back to it now after two years an'... I reckoned that'd fix it, but it ain't yet.

video;

[tinderfoot]

[Man, it's kind of awkward to watch a friend (especially an older friend) get choked up like this. Strangely enough, however, Tyrell feels like he should say something. Not being one much for comfort, especially in these given circumstances, he instead blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, which happens to be:]

...How'd he die?

Permavoice

[cowboycop]

[There's a pause on the line, then, another weak sigh. It's getting really hard for him to talk about. But, he continues:]

He died protectin' a young'un from a serial killer. Only problem was, the serial killer didn't kill 'im. My ex-boss did. Wanted to advance his career with the case we were workin' on. And then later... [His next sentence comes through gritted teeth.] Later he tried to frame it on the young'un and her big sister, to save himself.